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January 27, 2007

Falling in Duck Ponds and Other Logical Consequences

Jan2_1 Update: The fabulous Glennia nominated this for the Perfect Post Award . So happy that others relate to the inner rantings of a mom of three boys.

I was having one of those moments of sheer delight, I had finally found a sport my 8 year old son loves (karate). And in the class right next door is a Spanish immersion class. My 4 year old twins wanted to join the class so I signed them up. Having one hour where all three boys are in class at the same time is mom nirvana. I did not even care that for the amount of money I was spending for that hour I could have two nannies and a personal cook come to my house. It was worth it.

DuckpondAfter the classes were over, I was in such a good mood, that I decided to take the boys on something they have wanted to do but I have steered clear of: a walk around the duck pond.  I know the super moms out there are thinking that they always go on hikes and walks with their kids, and wonder why I am so hesitant to take a walk around a duck pond? They are probably thinking I am a mom wimp.  Well, come join the world of mom-o-multiple-boys and then see if you are so perky. To help understand what it is like, I will give an example of what I imagine girls do while walking around a duck pond versus what happened to my boys:

GIRLS AT THE DUCK POND: They like to look at the pretty ducks and flowers. They listen to their moms and don't get too close to the edge because it looks dirty in the pond. In fact, they are too afraid to get close so they admire the ducks from afar - they would not want duck poop on their adorable shoes.  When they get home they are so inspired that they draw pictures of ducks and flowers for hours while mom cooks a gourmet dinner. Life is beautiful.

BOYS AT THE DUCK POND: They are attracted to the duck pond like flies to water. They are so excited that they can't walk - so they run to the pond in a manner that does not look like they will stop before they get to the edge. They stop, but too close to the edge. Mom tells them "Don't get too close to the edge of the duck pond, you can fall in". They half listen and move away from that spot to another. Along the way they gather long sticks to put in the water as they run along the pond. They are not deterred by the duck poop or other sticky substances at the ponds edge. They are in boy nirvana. They go quietly to where the ducks are and then run towards them so the ducks fly away in fear; but who are probably looking at the kids with poop targets on their heads. One of the boys decides he needs to go pee.  Before mom realizes it he (D) heads towards a bush and in the process of peeing, wets the front of his clothes. But this does not deter them either.  Mom reminds them again and again not to go too close to the edge of the pond but the pond magnetism is too powerful.

While Mom is helping one boy get a stick, one of the other boys (a 4 year old) decides to reach for a leaf in the duck pond....... And falls in....... And Mom sees boy in the duck poop pond with water quickly approaching to above his nose. With one arm, mom has the strength to lift boy out of the pond. Boy is very wet, cold and crying. The other boys are in shock.

Mom gets all three boys in the car and changes duck pond boy into dry clothes using her emergency clothes and towel pack. After scrubbing all three boys in the bath, she throws some free-range turkey meatballs from a freezer box in the toaster oven, opens a bag of flax seed tortilla chips and cuts up an avocado. Over dinner mom calmly asks what they learned today. All three boys said "Don't walk close to the pond".

Any other logical consequences stories to share?


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