The Anti-Craft

I should've known something like this would happen. Kindergarten was just going too smoothly.

I could deal with the worksheets that came home, with the letter of the week to trace and pictures to cut out and glue to the paper. 

Even the special "decorate your own snowman" assignment this winter was no problem, as the teacher provided the circles to cut out and my son decorated it all by himself.

We're in the home stretch now, people. Just over a month to go.

That's why that little blue paper in my son's folder the other day was such a shock. A slap in the face, really.

It's a project. An art project "for you to complete with your child." Which we all know really means "attempt to show up all the other moms by doing a multi-media presentation." 

We have to make a farm scene and the only requirement is it have a barn and a silo.

The best part? They're going to be displayed in the class on Open House night.

I'm already terrified.

Sooo...how many of them are going to have a working well? Sheep that baa? Cows that can actually be milked and a tractor driven by a waving farmer?

I can tell you who is NOT going to have any of those bells and whistles. 

My son.

He had the misfortune to have a mother who is the Anti-Craft. That's right. I am completely useless when it comes to making stuff for which you need to buy the supplies at Michael's. You should've seen the cake I did for my baby's first birthday. It looked like HE had written Happy Birthday on it.

Just reading the information about the farm is making me sweat - in places I didn't even know you could sweat.

I can "feel free" to add other farm details. Like a vegetable garden. Yes. Of course. Trees. Hay. Animals. Pens. Why not a duck pond? Or a large field of corn, perhaps.

Maybe his farm should have a guy in a suit standing on the front porch holding foreclosure papers. Or is that a little cynical for the kindergarten crowd?

Clearly, I'm panicking. Truth is, I don't have a vision for this little creation. I have no skills. I've used a glue gun once and had my license revoked.

What I DO have is the internet. Which allows me access not only to Google, but to my super-crafty friends, the kind of moms my kids will soon wish they had when it comes to this stuff.

When I talked to my son about the project, he seemed a little nervous. "How will we do it, Mommy?"

How, indeed?

We'll figure it out. It will be nice to spend the time with him and revel in the imagination of a six year-old. I'll try the best I can to help him make something he's proud of.

And hey - no one will ever guess he didn't do the whole project himself!

This is an original OC Moms Blog post by Cheryl Rosenberg, who reminds us that we're all in this Mommy stuff together at SpecialSauce in the House.