Radical Parenting

I practice unconventional parenting.  I co-sleep, wear my baby, breastfeed until we (not I) decide to stop, and discipline with love (not my hand).  Apparently, I need a support group, because my style of parenting is among Discovery Health's Top Ten List of Radical Parenting Methods (did you hear me sigh?!?).

I attended a wellness event over the weekend, targeted towards expectant and new parents.  One of the exhibitors was a support group for attachment parents, which partially confused me, and mostly frustrated me. Is my way of parenting (advocated by one of the nation's most renowned pediatricians) so extreme...so far out there that I need a support group?

I firmly believe in the power of support groups.  When people with the same views, characteristics, or interests get together to share experiences, education and understanding can take place.  But according to Wikipedia, a support group is typically initiated for a group of people with a characteristic that is often "burdensome."  And the overall view of support groups is in line with this definition.  Which has me wondering, what is so burdensome about being an attachment parent?

I don't generally like to label myself, however, I practice many of the principles of attachment parenting.  And that is very often met with disapproval from people I don't know well enough to advise, criticize or otherwise judge me.  When my daughter was a teeny tiny baby, I had to nurse her in a restaurant mostly frequented by women (who, might I add, have the same anatomy if I can be blunt!).  As I put my cover over her and myself, more than one woman in the restaurant turned around to silently tell me they disapproved of what I was doing...which was simply feeding my baby.  When I tell people that we co-sleep, I'm advised that I'm spoiling and putting my daughter in danger.  I find their responses (or lack of) terribly amusing when I proceed to tell them I'm a nurse...a neonatal nurse at that.  I simply show them my happy, healthy 2 1/2 year old son as proof that co-sleeping children can survive and thrive.  I don't even talk to most people about discipline.  Have you heard the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child?"  Perhaps the person who originated that quip didn't read this article.

In general, I brush off most of what's spoken and unspoken.  The challenge arises when the criticism comes from well-meaning family members.  I want to raise little people...not robots.  I want my children to feel loved and respected.  I want them to express (not repress) their emotions.  I want them to be empathetic and respectful.  I want to talk to them about the choices they make (both good and bad)...not beat them (literally) into submission. Even if that means that I have a baby attached at the hip...or the breast. Or that my bed is not my own...for the time being.  Or that my life is largely unscheduled.  Or that I need to be extremely patient and offer a lot of grace. 

These first few years are critical to a child's social and emotional development.  While I acknowledge that my way of parenting is simply that...one style...my aim is that my children won't need to attend a support group because of their upbringing. 

{photo credit: stock.xchng}

[I love the above photo...it beautifully captures the kind of relationship I want with my children]

Caryn is a full-time mom raising two beautiful children.  You can read more about Caryn and her "radical" parenting philosophies on her personal blog, Rockin' Mama.