A
funny thing happened about three months ago.
I committed to taking the time out of my hectic “stay-at-home-and-also-try-to-work-at
home” life to do something completely just for ME. I became a runner.
Well,
if we’re being honest, at my pace, I should probably say “jogger” but “runner”
sounds more empowering so please humor me. On Sunday, May 2nd, after 3 months of training I am going to run 13.1 miles in
the OC Half Marathon. I am scared to
death, but also crazy excited to cross that finish line. This week I have
actually been pretty emotional about it and just writing this makes me tear up.
Mostly because I have realized it has been about more than just pounding the
pavement. I feel like in this
experience, I found myself again.
I
started running for the obvious physical benefits. You know, get in better shape post-baby, feel
stronger, have more energy, etc. All
that has been true, but what I wasn’t prepared for was the mental and emotional impact it would have on me.
When
I started training, I told myself that this was going to be the one thing in my
life just for me. I called it the answer to my "Momlife Crisis." So if I can help it, I
NEVER bring my kids in a jogger. I will
go to great lengths to go at odd times or arrange help, so I can run alone.
And,
what that has meant is I actually have time to THINK again! In fact, the more I got to THINKING about it, the
more I realized in the last 3 years and 10 months since my firstborn arrived, I
have not had much time to really think! My days are sooooo busy....always go, go, go! I am mom all day,
then blog at night, and sometimes mix the both throughout the day, and when the
day is done I have not had one spare minute to myself.
These
past 3 months, I have had time, good chunks of time, where it is just me, the Back Bay and my iPod. It feels really therapeutic to
have the time to actually process linear, uninterrupted thoughts! I think about my kids, feel grateful for my
husband, plan out dream vacations, think about the future, write my blogs in my
head. I can analyze and ponder. Dream
and plan. It has been in this time where
I feel like I have found myself again. Isn’t it funny how we don’t even realize we
are lost until we are found?
On that Sunday I won’t care about my time. I just hope my feet hold up and will be
thrilled to just be able to finish. And
when I cross that finish line, you bet there will be some tears, because when I
see my family waiting there it will be like coming home. In more ways than one.
This is an Original Post to Orange County Moms Blog.
When
Jen is not running the Back Bay immersed in
her thoughts, you can find her blogging about fun finds & amazing giveaways
at her personal blog Tiny Oranges. You
can also find Jen on Facebook & follow her on Twitter.
