I think of myself as a nice person. I buy from local kids selling candy, I’ll answer phone surveys, and let the person with one item cut in front of me at the grocery store. Nice. How was I supposed to know that a toddler bully at Chick-fil-a would bring out the worst in me?!?
As moms, we can all agree, sticking up for our kids is just part of the deal. You know, when your little one boldly walks up to another kid at the playground and asks if “they can be friends,” and the other kid yells “no,” pushes them, then runs away. You discreetly throw sand at the other kid… not really… really (now you’ll never know). This whole mother hen thing became very real for me when my kiddos came in contact with their first bully.
One of my mommy friends and I met up at Chick-fil-a for a playdate. (Separate sound proof play area, complementary wi-fi, and a strawberry shake, need I say more?) She had to go to her car to nurse her new daughter so I was in charge of the 4 remaining kiddos playing in the play area. I moseyed into kid haven and I knew right away that something was amiss. My 2-year-old Cora and her buddy Jonas were cowering under the ladder and their big siblings, Eli and Iris, looked a little confused at the top of the slide. Before I could ask what was going on The Bully came sliding down screaming “BABY MONSTERS” at the little ones.
Say what??
Eli and Iris came down after him and Eli innocently said, “I don’t see any monsters.” The Bully just laughed (you know, the real sinister laugh… Bwahahaha) and starting singing “baby monsters, baby monsters, baby monsters” (you know, in that annoying high-pitched voice).
Being the nice person that I am, I stepped in and said in my firm-but-calm mommy voice, “You’re right Eli, there are no monsters here. Just buddies to play with. (To the Bully) It’s not kind to call people names, why don’t you all climb to the top and slide down together?” He looked at me, rolled his eyes and starting singing “baby monsters” and doing a booty dance (you know, the mocking in your face kind of dance). The rest of the conversation went something like this:
Me – “Why do you think they are baby monsters?” (I’m still smiling at this point, but start doing the over the shoulder “where the h#!! are your parents” scan of the restaurant.)
Bully – “They are little and they ARE monsters!” (na na na na)
Me – I promise you they aren’t monsters. They are kids just like you and they are really fun to play with.” (Smiling with gritted teeth. I can tell he is really hurting the little kids’ feeling… and that just breaks my heart!!)
Bully – (screaming) “They ARE monsters!!” (Chases after them again)
Me – I know THEY aren’t monsters. Maybe YOU'RE the monster!?!? (Too catty?)
Bully – What!?!?
Me – You heard me! YOU'RE a baby monster! (Childish. I know. But I think I have him because it is obvious that he doesn’t like being called a monster.)
Bully – (His contemplation turns into an evil sneer) You are ALL monsters… na na na… (Sinister, laugh, annoying high pitched voice AND in your face dance)
Me – Yep! We are all monsters and we eat little boys like you while they sleep.
Grab your shoes kids, we’re leaving!
I’m not sure what bugged me so bad about this brat... um, I mean, kid! Was it because he never let up? Had no respect for me and his peers? Or that he never showed any remorse or apologized? Maybe it was because I couldn’t do anything about it? Whatever the reason, I hid his shoes and socks behind the shoe rack… not really… really (now you’ll never know).
This is an Original Orange County Moms Blog post.
Ex-fitness fanatic/aerobics instructor, Kara-Noel is the creator of an awesome hat line for infants and toddlers called Eli's Lids. You can find her blogging about creating a whimsy home, motherhood and being the owner of an up-and-coming business over at Eli's Lids the Blog.
