Ohio Moms Blog

Do you need a hero?

With all the celebrity scandal in the news, it’s tempting to not even turn the channel from Nick Jr. I come from a golfing family, so there has been much discussion of Tiger Woods even before he made the leap from the golf channel to the gossip shows. My mom loves him - she says he is the reason she got back into golf. My grandparents aren’t that fond of him, and the recent turn of events did nothing to warm their hearts. My grandma played in the first NCAA golf championship, representing Miami University. She still plays and recently had a tournament named after her. She has an amazing scrapbook full of newspaper articles, and my mom recently copied the scrapbook to show to the ladies in “The Marty” tournament. A friend asked if she could make an extra copy for her daughter and my mom was happy to comply. Her daughter is in high school and plays on the golf team. She had been a big Tiger fan, and as many teens do, she had covered her room with pictures, articles and posters of her golf idol. After receiving a copy of my grandma’s scrapbook, she replaced the pictures on her wall with a real role model - both on the course and off.

Not a problem, I'll be sending you a bill for my time

As parents, we make a multitude of decisions about how we spend our time: How many activities can fit into each day?  What activities will a 3 year old enjoy and will also be safe and do-able with an infant?  How can we coordinate the housework, cooking, appointments...you know what I'm saying, right?  It is hard to find enough time in the day for the things we want to do without spending time on the phone trying to rectify customer service errors.  Sadly it seems like I'm spending time each week having these conversations.  It's easy to fire some problematic companies, like the cable company or phone service.  I make sure they know why I'm making the switch with the hope someone might listen. (doubtful, I know.)  But what can I do about companies I'm stuck with, like my health insurance company, or people I don't want to fire, like the most fabulous pediatrician in the world, who just happens to have a terribly inept billing department?  And why, with so many great people looking for jobs today is customer service still so deplorable?

I recently had the opportunity to talk with my health insurance company and the doctor's office about a billing mistake - each wanted me to call and confirm who was at fault before they would do anything.  Sure, I'd be happy to make another phone call while simultaneously nursing the baby and trying to keep the preschooler from using her markers as darts in some new game she just made up.  Tell me again why you can't just call the doctor's office?  My favorite part about the experience was her response when I assured her I had done my part and reiterated that I just needed her to investigate further - no apology for wasting my time, no promise to take care of my problem, just a "not a problem, we'll look into it for you". 

Bugs don't bug me...do they?

Aaah, Ohio in the spring time - wild weather swings, bushes and trees bursting with blossoms, the optimism that accompanies the end of winter...and ticks.  This promises to be a banner year for ticks, with mama finding one or more a day for a week now.  There's nothing quite like a blood sucking parasite to make the little hairs stand up on the back of my neck.  Seeing as I encourage my daughter to be bold, to play in the dirt and explore the outdoors, I try not to let on. 

The other day we had a picnic in the front yard for dinner and I totally failed the freak out test.  The weather was perfect, the food delicious and daddy was even able to join us.  I was just finishing up my salad when I felt something on my arm.  I tried to casually brush that "something" off, but it didn't budge.  It was a pesky little tick, not attached but not easy to get rid of either.  It took five swipes to get off, each one slightly wilder than the last.  I don't think my oldest noticed, but hubs certainly did and he teased me about it the rest of the night.  I tried to make up for my wimpiness by suggesting we hunt for worms to add to the flower bed after dinner.

Heavy heart, hugs and kisses

It was a beautiful day - the sun was shining and there was a faint breeze that carried the smell of lilacs.  I was at the end of the driveway, and to the left there was a bright, clear view into town.  I looked right to check for traffic, and as I looked back left again, there it was, a huge plume of dark gray smoke - in the split second I'd looked away there must have been an explosion.  From the location of the smoke it had to be either the airport or the gas station.  I turned on the radio a few minutes later to hear that a small plane had crashed, killing the father and daughter on board.  The breath caught in my throat as I remembered something my grandmother had told me years ago, "your grandpa always wanted to learn to fly planes, but he never did because he was a family man."

I'm not judging anyone for the choices they make, and I have friends who are pilots and absolutely love to fly.  No matter how safely we choose to live our lives, it can all change in an instant.  As someone who lost a father in his early 50s, I know this very well.  You never expect that call, especially when you've just hugged goodbye some twenty minutes before.  And yet somehow, in the hustle and bustle of life, in the rush to get everything done, it is easy to forget this lesson that I learned the {all too} hard way.

It's a tough crowd here at the playground

My daughter got made fun of on the playground the other day by an older girl for wearing pull ups – at the time she was still 2 years old.  “You’re wearing Pampers!” she said.  “No, I’m not” my daughter said, “They’re princess frog pull ups” and she went back to playing.  The girl tried a few more times to insist, but when she got no response, eventually she gave up.  Imagine her reaction if she’d realized they weren’t even Pampers – they were generic!  I made a face at the dad next to me and informed him my daughter was 2, not that it was anyone’s business how old my daughter was or how our potty training was going.  “Tough crowd” he replied, laughing.

It amazes me how cliquey some of the girls are before they even reach kindergarten in our town.  I lived here back when this place was mostly farm country, classified as a village and with a post office so small that it didn’t serve as ours even though we lived 2 miles down the road.  Good schools and easy commuting to both Dayton and Cincinnati (even Columbus in this economy, truth be told) brought an influx of people that changed both the size and character of the neighborhood.  If only some of the uppity moms and their families could have seen this place then.  I know that there will be a lot more pressure and teasing as the years go by and my girls grow up, and I suppose it would exist anywhere.  So I will do what I can to make sure my daughters are kind and inclusive, including being a good role model.

Do men get asked if they work outside the home?

I was talking at a table of successful women about balancing life with little ones.  Strategies were exchanged for working at home - be it house work, remodeling projects or a paying gig.  Tips for finding time for a haircut, grocery trip, or possibly even a bathroom break without kids were traded.  Then the conversation turned to the various intrusive comments mothers of young children always seem to elicit, “Are you staying at home, then, now that you have kids?” or “I don’t know how you could possibly leave those sweet little faces, even for a second!” and even, “So now that you have one of each, you’re done, right?” 

What is it about a woman with young children that compels a stranger to offer up personal questions or solicit unwanted advice?  Is it the slightly dazed look that we sometimes posses due to lack of sleep or a harried schedule?  I don’t think I’ve ever heard a man be asked if he’s going to stay home after he has a baby.  So why ask us – don’t we look like we have enough on our minds?  At least at our table we were easily able to agree – there are few easy decisions when it comes to parenting and family life, but we’d rather make them ourselves than depend on the opinions and advice of strangers to guide us!

Come Into My Office

I’ve wondered since having kids how any mom successfully works at home with more than one under the age of four.  (I’m guessing a little bit there, not having a four year old of my own!)  When I only had Sweetpea, I was working full time, but also taking masters classes in my “spare” time.  It was manageable to work during her naps on the weekends and after she went to bed during the week.  Now that I have two under the age of three, getting anything other than the minimum done seems like it takes a Herculean effort.  Granted, I have one under the age of 6 months, but I don’t see things getting any easier once she’s mobile. 

 I get wistful when I see tweets about moms sneaking out to Starbucks to get some work done on the computer.  With my husband’s work schedule, that just never happens.  With three deadlines staring me in the face, things are starting to look up, because I found Momtopia! (aka my new office) Where is this mythical place where mom can bring the kids along and get some work done?  Our local Chick Fil A!  As an added bonus, my oldest can burn some energy and play with kids her age – love it.

Don't mess with my sweet baby's bottom

Are you a diaper snob?  I used to be, until Pampers sold me down the river by downgrading the quality of their premium diapers.  There are very few products that compel me to be brand loyal, particularly now that I have two children and no job.  I expect a certain amount of loyalty from those companies – insomuch as I don’t want to be surprised by major changes to my favorite products.  It came with no warning - I purchased our usual value box of Pampers in December, upsizing my new daughter to cruisers because she’s growing like a weed.  As soon as I opened the first diaper I could tell the design had changed – the honeycomb inner liner layer was gone and the size of the absorptive material had been drastically reduced. 

I called to confirm the design had changed, hoping somehow that I’d just gotten a flawed box.  The service rep confirmed that a new design was being phased in and that I was the (not so) proud owner of the latest and (not so) greatest design.  I explained the various reasons why I wasn’t pleased with this new design, and with each sentence the service rep indicating that I must be doing something wrong.  (Maybe I should increase the size of my diapers again.  Maybe I wasn’t changing often enough. Maybe something - ANYTHING - was causing my problems other than her product.)  I have to be pretty upset with a company to spend my time to call and complain.  When I do, the last thing I want to hear are a litany of reasons why it’s my fault that the product failed.  In an effort to try and keep my business, I was offered a coupon for a jumbo pack of the newly inferior diapers.  Can anyone tell me why I would want a coupon for a product I’m not happy with?  In one last backhanded attempt to convince me that my recent problems were my own fault, P&G included this information in the note with my free coupon:

Finding perspective and grace this Christmas

Does anyone else feel like Christmas sneaks up on them each year?  No matter how early I start planning, no matter that I shop year round, the last two months of the year somehow go into some kind of super overdrive and the holidays are here and gone before I know it.  It doesn’t help that I have a newborn this year, what with the sleep deprivation and hours spent snuggling while she nurses on the couch.  I have to make a list of the activities we want to do with the girls each year, in order to make sure the important things get done.  Even then, the decorations are only half up, (okay, let’s face it, the decorations are done, but only half of them made it out of the box) the Christmas cards are half way completed, the shopping is half done, if that.  I hear the words, “Having myself a half assed little Christmas” going through my mind, to the tune of have yourself a merry little Christmas. 

 Thank goodness my girls are too young to notice the things that bother me when I drift off to sleep thinking of what went undone and what needs done tomorrow.  I try hard to make sure we have one fun thing planned for each day as we count down to Santa’s arrival.  Still in my head I have this vision of a perfectly decorated house, hot chocolate and Christmas music each night as we sit together talking after dinner, the house all cleaned and ready to entertain any unexpected guest that stops by…I’m guessing that if this dream ever materializes into reality it won’t be until the girls are at least in middle school.  As it stands we managed to get the tree up and decorated before the first week of December was over and it hasn’t been knocked over yet!  I’m hoping the house is at least modestly presentable to my immediate family by our annual Christmas Eve dinner.  That will require those stacks of clean laundry on my beautiful dining room table to find a new home…