Ohio Moms Blog

Having it all

When I was pregnant, I remember sitting with a friend on her couch as we watched the baby inside my belly make its way from one side to the other.  As we were watching in awe -- this alien-like experience going on in my body-- I was sure that I was not going to change when I had my daughter.  I wasn’t going to sit still because I had a baby. 

Parts of my life have not changed. I’m still pretty social, actually more so now.  I go to concerts on a regular basis and travel.  Only now, I travel with my daughter, rock concerts require a baby sitter, and we’ve attended more gallery openings and festivals then my daughter probably cares to think about.  I don’t sit still, to a fault.  

Recently I had a small breakdown.  All my activities came to a head. I returned from a weeklong work trip, was finishing an art piece for group gallery show, organizing my daughter’s pre-school fundraiser, training to run my first 5K, and preparing to move our home, all while working full-time.  And, oh yeah, trying to raise a child.

My eye started twitching due to the stress.  I sat one night and cried because I couldn’t take it.  I did this to myself.   I felt that everything in my life was suffering because I was doing too much and doing it badly. I was physically exhausted. 

Voting on the Issues

 Confrontation is something I try to avoid at all cost, as a result, I usually don’t bring up politics or religion in mixed company.   To properly debate, I feel facts are crucial, points are to be made and I need to come armed with information on my topic.  I’m too lazy to suit up, so I usually avoid the topics all together.  Unless it’s a subject that deeply resonates. 

As voters we need to be educated regarding issues. But during elections, we tend to be so inundated with ads and negative campaigning that we loose site of the smaller issues that have big impacts.  On the May 4^th state election, Ohioans will be asked to review Issue 1.  Issue 1 extends a 2005 constitutional amendment that authorizes general obligation bonds to fund research and development.  The bond program was created to build up technology, to grant money to the little guy, to fund research and bring innovative ideas to the forefront. Since 2005 the Ohio Third Frontier program has done just that.  Created as an economic development tool, the Ohio Third Frontier program has created over 40,000 jobs, launched new companies and expanded existing corporations.  Research has been given the attention it so richly needed to allow Ohio’s economy to grow in a direction that will continually move forward, as well as kept companies and talent in the state. 

Mean Girls on a whole new level

 When I was 12 years old my best friend and I got into a fight.  I can’t remember what the fight was about, but I remember feeling like my world was over.  Perhaps I was a touch melodramatic at the time, but the feelings were very real and very painful. 

I remember in junior high and high school there were times when I would get in arguments with my friends or people made fun of me, days where I’d rather join a witness relocation program than go to school.  It seemed like everyday would be as hard and painful as that one singular day.  But it passed. Every time.  We never had “mean girls.”

Yesterday, I read a story in the New York Times about that poor little Irish girl, Phoebe Prince.  She hung herself after months of being tormented and tortured by classmates.  While it’s to be expected that kids have issues with their classmates, never have I witnessed month after month of intentional harassment. Who does that?  And more importantly, where are the parents and why didn’t the school do anything about it? 

Does an $8K tax credit mean you should buy a house?

 To buy or not to buy? That is the question!  There are only two months left to receive the extended $8K, first-time homebuyer tax credit.  Signs everywhere read “Nothing like this will happen again!” and  “Don’t say I wish I would’ve bought after it’s too late!” The urgency makes me nervous.   I’ve been thinking about and looking into buying a home. I would be a first-time homebuyer.  Seems like the right time.  Right?

What would buying a home mean to me and my family?  Oh, we would have EQUITY!  A sense of SECURITY! And I think something else that would end with ITY!  When it comes down to it, buying a home freaks me out.  The amount of money for the down payment, the cost of taxes, the actual fixing of things, and the lost sense of mobility all have me saying, “is this really the right choice for me?”   I like having the opportunity to pick up and move.  That makes me feel free -- and when you have kids, a 9-5 job, and responsibilities, there’s not a whole lot to make you feel free.  But the perception of being able to still have some control over something without having to worry about selling a house feels good.  Not that I’m going to just pick up and move away, but for some reason the gypsy in me likes the option. Then the fixing, ho boy! I’m not handy nor do I like having to worry about broken heaters and what it would cost to fix them.  I personally like being able to pick up the phone and have someone else take care of it at no additional cost to me.  

I enjoy being a girl

 There was something inside of me from the moment I found out I was pregnant that I knew I was going to have a girl.  The thought of little girlness excited me.  I’m not a girly girl myself, but teaching a girl how to become a woman intrigued me. 

 Then she came & she came in the tiniest package possible. Born two weeks early.  My little 4 1/2 lb baby girl was already dainty, which led me to believe that’s how she would always be.  However, as she grew, even thought her size was small, her attitude and spirit took up an entire city block.  Still does.  It’s amazing to watch your child take over an entire room, especially a child who comes from two socially awkward parents.   And over time I have realized my girl was more like a boy. It’s like having two kids in one. Give her Diego over Dora, cars over baby dolls, and pirates over Barbie.  My daughter will not wear dresses.  The idea brings her to a weepy mess on the floor.  Pigtails?  No such luck, she asks to me to take her to the salon and her hair cut short.  Not too long ago she told me her name was Zach and then a week later it was Pikachu.  My daughter quite frequently says she wants to be a boy.  I ask her why? She says, “because I like boys”. 

A model student

The time has come.  It’s a time I have not been looking forward to but saw on the horizon.  It’s time to enroll my child into kindergarten. My baby is becoming a KID! Soon it will be book fairs, school plays, band concerts, and proms.  It’s all going so fast.

Kindergarten means I’m enrolling my daughter into public school and Columbus has an open enrollment system.  This system allows children to “lottery” into schools that might be better suited for them or in a different neighborhood than their home school.  This has so many benefits, specifically adding diversity.   One thing I never thought about until recently is, what kind of student will my child be?  This question comes up because we actually have the choice (if chosen through the lottery system) of different styles of learning.  We have the traditional schools and the alternative schools.  The alternative schools are typically less structured and provide a different learning environment.  I feel very fortunate to have this choice, but this system is very flawed.  I know, what system isn’t flawed, but let me explain.