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05/14/2010

Hardships of Discipline

Brar01_kazdin

I tell him no, and explain why he can't do or have whatever it is that has started this melt down. His voice raises, he stomps, and the crying begins. The sassy mouth, the arguing, the whining, and the tantrums, sometimes they are too much. I'm frustrated, he is frustrated. It's a lose-lose situation, I fear.

He's four. Sometimes he's four going on 14, so mature and grown up, and able to have interesting adult like conversations with us. Other times he's four going on...two. I have to remind myself on a daily, even minutely, basis that he is still four. He's still a young kid. He, like me, isn't perfect all the time. He is just being what he is, being a four year old little boy. He's testing his boundaries, pushing me as a parent to see how I will handle certain behavior. 

Parenting is hard, nothing new there. Anyone who will tell you otherwise is lying or completely mental. Or both. There are some things that come completely natural and did when I became a parent. The unconditional love and the nurturing. As the boys grow, I'm faced with the issue of discipline and the realization that this part of parenting I wasn't prepared for. It's something that you have to learn and work at on a daily basis.

I consider myself a self taught person. I read a lot. I want to learn just about everything that involves becoming a better wife and mother, and person in general. I'm huge fan of self help books. If there are books that teach and help direct you on how to properly discipline your kids, I'm reading it or want to. Problem is, I struggle with putting them into practice in a way that works best for us. I struggle with staying consistent with whatever form I have chosen. I struggle with keeping a proper balance of forms depending on the child. There is a huge difference from disciplining a four year opposed to a one year old.

Then you get into the debates of which form is the best and worse for the child. Time-outs, spanking, taking things away. Which will work best for your child and your family? Are the forms that I choose going to mess up my child for life? There is such a fine line between right and wrong discipline, that it can drive a parent crazy sometimes worrying that their not getting it right.

What's a parent to do? Well, we do what we've been doing for generations. We plow through. We take the good and the bad. We try and stand our ground, stand by what we believe in, and see what works best for us, our family, and our child. We try and keep our chin up and stay a float in the sea of parenthood. We remind our selves that we're not the only parent in the world that is completely overwhelmed by dealing with tantrums on a weekly basis. We just do the best that we can with the knowledge that we have, and hope and pray we're doing it right.

This is an original Ohio Moms Blog post

Randi also blogs at My Moments As Told By Me

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