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It Sure is Hard to Walk the Talk

SVMoms_20100416_SoftToyBlockMarch 31 entry:  I am writing this down now during my lunch break at work because a million angry voices are screaming in my head and I need to refocus them to a task like typing so I do not explode.  I took on a new assignment at work and a new person "J" that I now have to work with daily is really making it hard for me to wake up everyday and go into work.  Now, I am one of those people with Singaporean-clad work ethics who feel that work relationships should be considered but not detrimental to your ability to contribute and be effective at work.  However, since taking on this assignment, I have been berated, disparaged, and subjected to unreasonable and inconsistent directions from "J", making it harder for me to complete the tasks I have to and causing me to dread meetings with him.

On days as such, I daydream of just going postal on "J" (who is a lot more senior than I am on the totem pole), and then just storming out of the office.  Oh it's a beautiful scene to replay mentally - I go on and on with examples where his incompetence have caused the company grief, that people really dread working for him, and that in the population of "Nightmare Bosses" he would place within the top 3, and so on.  Then I  storm out of his office and back to my desk and pack everything and leave to the applause of the people who witness everything.  It really makes the notion very appealing after replay number 3.

But I also know that if I followed through with it, it would go against what I know is logical:

  • That I actually like the company I work for.
  • That I enjoy the work that I do and am fairly good at it.
  • That I really do feel committed to seeing this new assignment through.
  • That this person's behavior, could very well be personally-directed at me, but is more likely to be reflective of his own shortcomings. (Other colleagues have warned me against said person.)
  • That I would kick myself after the fact for letting someone dictate the terms on how and why I left a workplace.
  • That although we do not need the money, it has allowed us to be in a comfortable place minus all the stress that would come from not being in this comfortable place.
  • And that I tell my older daughter all the time, that when she is antagonized or upset at her preschool, that she should walk away from the situation and either talk to a teacher or find another activity to do while she calms down versus acting out/throwing/calling names/hitting/snatching.

So . . . even though I really want to throw a soft toy block at this person's head and call him a name, I am going to head out of the office for some sunshine and get some fresh air in me so I can unclench my jaw, take lots of deep breaths, and stay true to the very advice I give to my daughter.

Grace Hester multi-tasks as a full-time working mom of two, owner of an etsy store that offers custom and personalized modern keepsake prints, and blogs about it all at Tale of the Multi-Tasking, Craft-and-Design-Loving, Mother-of-Two, Singaporean-Living-in-US, Corporate-Working Mom Named Grace Hester.