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04/27/2010

Heavy heart, hugs and kisses

J0442229 It was a beautiful day - the sun was shining and there was a faint breeze that carried the smell of lilacs.  I was at the end of the driveway, and to the left there was a bright, clear view into town.  I looked right to check for traffic, and as I looked back left again, there it was, a huge plume of dark gray smoke - in the split second I'd looked away there must have been an explosion.  From the location of the smoke it had to be either the airport or the gas station.  I turned on the radio a few minutes later to hear that a small plane had crashed, killing the father and daughter on board.  The breath caught in my throat as I remembered something my grandmother had told me years ago, "your grandpa always wanted to learn to fly planes, but he never did because he was a family man."

I'm not judging anyone for the choices they make, and I have friends who are pilots and absolutely love to fly.  No matter how safely we choose to live our lives, it can all change in an instant.  As someone who lost a father in his early 50s, I know this very well.  You never expect that call, especially when you've just hugged goodbye some twenty minutes before.  And yet somehow, in the hustle and bustle of life, in the rush to get everything done, it is easy to forget this lesson that I learned the {all too} hard way.

Life is short, and oh so precious.  There is nothing like my sweet giggling baby or silly smiling preschooler to make that clear.  I know how very blessed I am, and I will do my best to be the mother they deserve, and to forgive myself when I make mistakes.   I will hold them close and tell them I love them over and over, cherishing the years that they love to hear it, knowing that some day it will likely prompt an eye roll or funny face.  I will try my best not to forget, and pray that these tragic reminders are few and far between.

This is an original Ohio Moms Blog post.

Steph can also be found sharing her problem solvin approach to parenting and life at Problem Solvin Mom and on twitter as @psmom

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