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03/12/2010

Too Young for a Princess Party?

Princess My three-year-old daughter was recently invited to a princess party at Sweet and Sassy located at the Polaris Mall. The details of the party included the girls getting their nails done, hair put in an up do, make-up, princess dress-up dresses, and then a walk down the runway to show their new beauty. After the make-up and fashion show the children shopped for lotions, nail polishes, etc. and have cake and ice cream in a separate room.

I declined the invitation.

I said no to my daughter attending the party because I did not want her introduced to the thought that girls need make-up, nail polish, and pretty dresses to look beautiful. I felt she was too young to be strutting herself down a runway all gussied up. At three, she is just too impressionable, and I didn’t want her to take away from that party that she needed make-up and her hair done to be beautiful. It was awkward telling the party-giver that my daughter would not be attending. I wished I had a better excuse than the fact that I didn’t want her to go and be introduced to superficial beauty at such a tender age. I didn’t want to stick up for my decisions as a mother, because my decision for that party was not a popular one. It was difficult for me, and I blamed most of it on my husband because I was too scared to tell the honest truth.


I am a person who believes live and let live, and I assume others are the same. I know that isn’t always the case, though, and I don’t want to be naive. It was hard saying she wouldn’t attend because I felt a bit judged because the party-giver immediately said that girls younger than my daughter would be there. Plus, I felt bad about it because I knew in my heart my daughter would have loved getting dressed up and spending time with the girls at the party. She loves to put on her frilly princess frocks, plastic Ariel shoes that barely fit, and getting her tiara knotted into her hair. What I feel is different about that type of dress up is that she does it on her own. She goes through a process of dressing up, pretending to be a different person, and having a pretend crusade to save her horse or stuffed animal of the day. She doesn’t have a hired sales person doing it for her. She is experimenting with princess play on her terms. Sometimes she even puts on ripped old pajamas and calls herself a princess - hardly societal views of a princess. I like that she feels beautiful and proud of herself no matter what she has on or if she has knots in her hair.

My daughter has a book called “Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots” by Carmela LaVigna Coyle. The last page has a mirror that reflects your image and states, “A princess is a place in your heart.” Everyone wants to feel special and some want to feel beautiful, but beauty isn’t skin deep. I feel that places such as Sweet and Sassy make it more about how someone looks rather than all the other good personality traits that make someone special. I want my child to feel beautiful from the inside out – not the other way around.

I love wearing make-up, don’t get me wrong, but I believe make-up and up dos have their time. I will support the use of mascara, lipstick, and probably even take her to get a mani/pedi, but not right now. Not at the tender age of three.

This is an Original Ohio Moms Blog Post

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