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03/18/2010

Mustering the Strength

J0422272 My daughter is 11 years old.  At what point do I tell her that I was a victim of violence?

When do I share the fact that I was once a broken and abused girl?  That I had a boyfriend who punched me, slapped me, kicked me and called me names constantly.  I feel it's something she should know.

I want her to learn from my mistakes and know that she never deserves it if someone treats her that way.  I want her to have the strength to walk away from a bad situation.  I want her to know to know that she, alone, holds that power..

But, in empowering her, I will be telling her that I once was weak.  I allowed these things to happen and that makes me someone other than the mother she knows.  Her image of me will be forever changed.  I will be responsible for making her see that I was once very different.  That's not an easy thing to knowingly do.

My daughter depends on me and trusts me.  I am certain that she thinks I have always been the strong woman I am today.  She has never seen me back down or walk away from a confrontation.  I am not meek.  I am not quiet.  I wish I was then, who I am now.  I would have left that controlling situation and the relationship that left my body and my mind bruised and battered.

I am scared to let my daughter hear about my abuse.

But, I'm more scared not to.

This is an original Ohio Moms Blog post.

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