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How Do You Know


A few days ago I got the bug. No, not the sickness bug. The organizing bug and bit me right in the butt. I even broke out my trusty prized label maker. In knowing that Spring is almost here, regardless of the snow I still see outside my window, I want to rid of stuff, organize, and clean.

Some items that come front and center to my mind, and basement, are baby stuff. Clothes, toys, and gear. Of course thinking on these things bring questions to my mind. Questions of where I will put them, basement or attic, or how I should organize them are not what pops in my mind.

I look at the tiny clothes that once fit my 1 year old. Clothes that his older brother, now 4, used to fit into. Favorite toys, burp clothes and sleepers with stains that I couldn't get out. Little hats that used to fit little heads. They hold their own memory and story.

I find myself asking, are we done? Like are we done, done? Is our family complete? Will I ever feel little feet kicking my insides again? Will I experience once more, heavy contractions and strain from pushing a baby out?

My head is buried in a tote of 0-3 month onesies, my nose inhaling the last trace of dreft, and as on cue I hear two little voices sweetly screaming, I mean singing. I hear one calling me to wipe him, another one crying because its past nap time. There are dirty sippy cups and bottles in the sink, poopy diapers in the trash. I'm tripping over toys as my oldest is asking for the 100th time when lunch will be, and then watching my youngest feed the dog his lunch.

Life with two is wonderful, it is. I'm thankful everyday for my kids. But at the same time life with two is hard work. Some days are like pure heavenly bliss, and others are fiery torture. Days are full of things to do and excitement. At night I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. Some days I feel complete, others I feel there is something still missing. These two keep me on my toes so much I have blisters on the tips. Yet once in a while, I still feel a small nagging of what it would be like with another.

And then I find myself asking, do I want to do this again? Do I really want to throw a third into this party and suddenly really become out numbered?

Friends and family ask me from time to time if we're having a third. Most times I don't know what to tell them. I change my mind almost daily on whether we are done having kids or not. It depends on my mood, my kid's mood, and how much sleep I got the night before. So If you're asking, right now this very second? I'm pretty sure I am done. Done. Done. Done.

I pack up the clothes and some toys, minus the stuff that has sentimental value, to give away.

I'm still keeping the big baby items. You know, just in case I should change my mind.

Original post to Ohio Moms Blog

Randi can also be found on her personal blog, My Moments As Told By Me