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March 07, 2009

Morning Routine

31284521_49244556 I have long suspected that my mornings and my husband's are very different.  So, in the name of science, I decided to compare our routines:

My morning, by Marinka:

1. Wake the kids.
2. Make breakfast.
3. Re-wake the kids.
4. Make lunch for kids.
6. Tell the kids to get up.
7. Unload the dishwasher from the night before.
8. Look adoringly in the mirror.
9.  Yell at kids to get up.
10. Yell at kids to shut the hell up and eat their breakfast.

11. Write note to babysitter about afterschool activities and beg her not to quit.
12. Tell kids to bring their plates to the sink.
13. Tell kids to bring their plates to the sink.
14. Yes, that includes the glasses.
15.  And the spoon.
16. Yes, even though they are exhausted.
17. Tell kids to brush their teeth.
18. Tell kids to get dressed.
19. Take a shower, get dressed, throw some war paint on face.
20. Tell kids that no one in their right mind wants to go to school, but they're going anyway.
21.  Because learning is fun.
22. Yell at kids that yes, they have to wear a coat because it's 10 degrees outside.
23. Tell daughter that yes, hats do ruin hair styles but I don't care.
24. Get kids out the door.
25. Come back five seconds later to get homework.
26. Come back three seconds later to get cell phone.
27. Walk kids to school.
28. While walking kids to school realize that this is "quality time" and say something like "I'm so glad that we can do this!"
29. Say, "WALK TO SCHOOL TOGETHER!" when they ask "You're so glad that we can do what?"
30. Explain that eye rolling is rude.
31. Say good bye to the kids at school.
32.  Collapse in nervous exhaustion.

My husband's morning, also by Marinka! 

1. Wake up and stretch!  Yawn!  What a yummy night's sleep!
2. Put on cozy slippers and mosey out to the kitchen!  The coffee smells strong!
3.  Have breakfast while reading The New York Times.  It has all the news that's fit to print!
4.  Rustle kids' hair as they are running by.  Those rascals sure are adorable!
5.  Say hi to the Little Woman (disclaimer: does not refer to her actual size).
6.  Shower and get ready for work.  Captain of Industry is on his way!
7.  Say goodbye to fam--oh, they must have gone already.

Marinka lives in NYC and blogs at Motherhood in NYC and Secret Spineless Whine.


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