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May 01, 2008

Don't Judge the Mommy Makeover

Bikini My friend whispered it across the table at a coffee shop on W. Charles Street.


She whispered it again.

You got a what?

A boob job.

I was surprised. Definitely surprised. But you know what? I totally get it.

There were things I, myself, expected from pregnancy. I knew it would be hard to give up coffee and wine and other yummy things. I knew it would be difficult to lose the weight after childbirth. I knew I would be very tired.

But I did not expect my body to look like this. I lost my baby weight. I do yoga. Even a little cardio. So where the heck is my former body? Where are my perky boobs? Where is my flat stomach? Why do I still look pregnant when I no longer am?  My bikini days are so over.

My friend Rebecca (the name has been changed) didn't like what she saw in the mirror either. "After I stopped nursing, my boobs were completely deflated into nothing and I didn't feel like a woman... I didn't want bigger boobs. I just wanted the air put back in, so they looked the same as before I had a child."

A few months ago, she paid $12,000 for silicon implants.


Now she glows. She says, she feels sexy and whole. But still ashamed. Rebecca has only told a few close friends about the breast implants. "I'm not proud of it," she admits.

Rebecca is grateful that her daughter is very young and she didn't really have to explain the surgery - only that mommy wasn't feeling well and had to rest.

But it can be tricky if your kids are older, old enough to understand that something is going on.

Recently, a controversial picture book has been getting a lot of attention. Titled, "My Beautiful Mommy", the book aims to explain why mommy is getting a flatter tummy and a prettier nose. The book is geared to ages four to seven. I am all about opening up a dialog between parents and children, but this book just gives me a very icky feeling. I mean, won't your child immediately wonder if their own stomach should be flatter or their nose could be prettier?

But I do feel that mothers have a right to restore their bodies after pregnancy and not feel ashamed.  Rebecca doesn't regret her decision. "I used to be judgmental about women getting implants. But it's easy to be judgmental when you're 20 and your body looks great. Now I see what happens to a woman's body. It gets so drastically altered. I'm less judgmental now."

As for me, would I get a breast implants? No. Would I get a tummy tuck? Well, maybe. Talk to me once I've had my last kid. I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with it. But I probably wouldn't run and up and down the streets of Manhattan bragging about it either. I guess I don't want to be judged.

Original NYC Moms Blog Post.

Kelcey Kintner is the creator and editor of the mama bird diaries, a smart, funny and always unpredictable take on motherhood.  She lives with her husband and two daughters in the West Village (aka home of the "Sex and the City" bus tour). Their dog has moved to the suburbs.


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