LA Moms Blog

Tales of a Fourth Grader’s Mother Revisited

My oldest child has almost completed his fourth grade year.  We made it.  He and I.  We made it with a teacher who had her good points and challenging ones.  We made it with the class that contained a bully who was suspended twice.  We did it. Yay!

In his fourth grade year, he grew more than three inches and jumped four shoe sizes.  He made good on his third grade promise to retire from Little League and is struggling to find his balance on his skateboard now.  He has grown in so many ways that I missed just getting through the everyday. I am only now beginning to see how much growth as I take time to breathe and assess the year.

Rock On!

We all feel them at points in our lives - an intense attraction to something or someone.  Luckily with sons only ages ten and seven, the attraction right now is toward things or concepts. Cars…they both have an attraction to cars, but my older son’s is more intense.  Fast cars with Italian names -  like Ferrari and Lamborghini. He also has decided that he “needs rock and roll to survive.”  Oy!  As much as his interests/obsessions can drive me crazy, I am thrilled that he has them – because it tells me he has passion.

Last year my son pitched for his Little League team. His coach told us that he had good technique, but he wanted him to get more fired up on the mound.  “Can’t anything rile him?  Is he always so calm?’’ he asked.  “Pretty much,” we answered.  And, it’s true. As he’s getting older though, I am beginning to wonder if still waters run deep within him.   What new things will I learn about this boy as he begins to discover what drives and motivates him?  Other than cars, a particular video game may catch his interest but not much else has sent him into a frenzy of emotion.  Until now…

A Time to Rhyme

April (among other things) is National Poetry Month.  While I can’t do an entire post in verse since I believe that is a rule, I can’t help but hope that I can slip a couple of rhyming couplets in here or there.  You see, words are my sand box --- and when I have the time, I like to rhyme.  Poetry and rhyming are part of schools’ curriculum.  Shakespeare used it.  So did Doctor Seuss. Shhh – sometimes he made up words though. That’s poetic license.  

I’ve employed rhyming many times in my life, especially in the last ten years as a mom.  It distracts my kids from whatever activity they are involved with and gives me their attention.  It makes them laugh. The rhythm of rhyme can calm them.  It can calm me.  As they age, they are getting more interested in the lyrics of songs – a lot of which is really poetry set to music, isn’t it?

Choosing Happiness

We decided to go on an over-nighter to lovely Santa Barbara over Spring Break.  My youngest couldn’t wait to leave our house and start our adventure.  Yet, his mood seemed dour and sour on the roughly one hour ride.  I don’t know if he was hungry or tired or not happy with the music selection playing, but he was very focused on maintaining his morose mood.  When he would notice I was looking at him, his scowl intensified.  Finally, I said to him, “Joey, is there anything wrong?”

“No,” he replied.

“Then you should choose happiness.”

Food For Thought or Can I Buy a Homemade Cupcake, Please?

Jamie Oliver is on a quest to teach us how to live longer and healthier lives.  So are some of the school systems around the country including New York City and LAUSD.  Jamie Oliver is a celebrity chef as well as a private citizen.  His career was jump-started by showing how cooking could be simple, clean and fun (and tasty, too).  New York City and LAUSD are changing policies on bake sales and menus.  With all this food for thought, it really is hard not to “weigh in” on this topic. 

Do I think there is a problem with obesity in children today?  Yes.  Do I think it’s up to the Jamie Olivers of the world or the federal, state and local governments to solve it. No, I don’t.  As parents, doesn’t the brunt of the responsibility fall upon us?

Making Lemon Snow Cones From The Big Bear Freeze Out

It all started so innocently enough. A trip to the mountains.We could all go tubing and the children could build a snowman, fort and have a snow ball fight. We would go with our Adventure Friends. We found a house and secured a date. We paid our fee. The house had a foosball table, a pool table, games and fireplaces. The kids were excited. The parents were too. What we didn’t count on was the weather.

Southern California’s recent deluge of rain resulted in an abundance of bright, white beautiful snow in our mountains. Big Bear Snow that beckoned and teased but, ultimately, eluded us.When the rain did not let up on Thursday, my husband and I discussed foregoing our accommodations on Friday and driving up on Saturday. It was still snowing in Big Bear on Friday. We had dinner with our Adventure Friends and plotted our early rise and caravan on Saturday to the snow.

Up early, out and dreaming of an afternoon of snow play, cocoa and a foosball tournament that night, we set out on Saturday (idealistic even though the roads were still closed – we thought they’d open up after sunrise). Almost there at 9:00am, the roads were still closed. Parents regroup. That was the whole weekend for the parents. Take in new information, process, regroup, change plans and make it all worth it to the children.

Don't Forget Your Toothbrush....

“I’m going to run away,” said our six-year old two days after school started up again. 

“I’ll pack your bag and you can leave later, after you get home from school, okay?”  I replied.

I knew this might happen after a 17-day break from reading, ‘riting, and ‘rithmatic that had been filled with holiday happenings, new toys and fun adventures.  Who would want to leave that?  Really, who would?

“Right now, you need to brush your teeth, though.” 

Once Upon A Decade

When I started thinking about the New Year, I realized that a whole decade has passed since I’ve become a mom.  My oldest son was born 9 weeks into the year 2000. I’ve learned a lot in that decade.  I know I there are so many more things to learn, but I can’t help but think that parenthood has taught me many things that I never learned in school.

No matter how patient I was when I was I younger – and I was told I was very patient – motherhood’s taught me that I’m not patient enough. Sometimes it’s hard to sit back and let them struggle to try to master a task or a concept.  Sometimes it’s hard to wait while they take there time getting ready.  It’s a challenge because my children are meandering and learning by stopping and observing, wondering and questioning.  On one hand I can appreciate it, but adulthood has made me more of a “cut to the chase” kind of gal.  In some ways, I need them to help me re-learn how to be patient. 

The Busted Claus(e)

 

My husband wanted to be proactive – not reactive - about the truth. Our oldest son will be ten in March. The identities of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny have been revealed and dealt with. He felt it was time to have “the talk” with our son. No, no, no---not that talk – the precursor to that talk --- the one about ‘Big Red,’ ‘St. Nick,’ you know (whisper), Santa. Did he have my blessing?

I believe I heaved an audible sigh, because as much as I could see his point, I also saw it as a beginning of the end to my son’s innocence.  That said - I did give my consent with the conditions that he did not tell his younger brother or discuss it with anyone at school.    Then, I cried for a half an hour as I replayed all my memories of him with Santa in my head.  No.  Not really.  I was sad though.  I know my son.  As much as he wants to gather information and grow up, he also wants to hang onto the familiar comforts of childhood. 

Subliminal Mom

Motherhood, really parenthood, brings with it so many joys, so much laughter, but also trials and challenges.  There is also the development of “momspeak,” that is the secret language that no one teaches you, that you suddenly remember your mom speaking as well.  In addition, a subliminal mom exists in your head.  Have you met her?  I think you have.  Here - let me illustrate.

Everyone (even your children) knows that “We’ll see” really means “no.”  Sometimes, though, when you say “we’ll see” Subliminal Mom says “when fairies dance upon my head.”.  It’s good to keep Subliminal Mom in check and safe in your head.  Here are some other appearances of Subliminal Mom (her comments are italicized).

Mom:  Now, was that a good choice?

SM:  My gosh, he’s going to be kicked out of reform school.