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November 23, 2008

Baby Addiction

1_4 I went to a birthday party this weekend and spent a lot of the time holding a friends baby. She has 6 month old twins, a 4 year old, and a husband who works on location, so she can use all the help she can get. That’s not what I’m writing about today though. What I’m writing about is how tempting babies are. Even though I have sworn up and down since I had my daughter that I would never have another child, this infant was using her mind controlling scent on me.

It’s like that baby smell is a schedule one narcotic. I was just sniffing away. I might as well have rolled up a dollar bill and stuck it in my nose. Somehow that sweet baby smell makes you want to throw away your career, time with your friends, sleep, and personal grooming. I’m mean doesn’t that sound like a crackhead.

I looked up what signs to look for in a drug addict and I swear it sounds just like a new parent. I’ll list just a few here. Change in friends, once you have a baby you start hanging out with the mommy and me crowd. A seedy group mostly unwashed, underslept and always flashing their boobs in the name of nursing. Next is drop in work performance, now this is for the high functioning type, who can even hold on to their jobs. Then there’s difficulty paying attention, of course with all the late nights they’re barely conscious. Change in appearance. It can not be denied after having a child you must take on the over sized sweats and t-shirt look popular with the mommy and me crowd. Finally, we have unexplained need for money. Of course with this group they can never get enough diapers and wipes, they stay up all night just blowing through them. Some of them even have these delivered to their homes, I won’t even mention saving for college.

So you see my concern. What can we do to fight the war on sweet baby smell? I thought I could do it just once but I have to be vigilant every day not to get sucked back in. I know that if I do it again, I could lose my career and the few friends I have left from before I did it last time. For myself I will just have to fake till I make it or hit menopause. I guess, it’s one day at a time for me. My names Elise and I’m a babyoholic.

When not trying to score babysitting Elise blogs at elisesramblings.blogspot.com

© Schworm

Photography not to be used without written consent



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