DC Metro Moms

The Joy of a Birthday

June 12^th is my 12^th birthday.  Well, not really.  This year, June 12^th marks the 12^th anniversary of my bone marrow transplant at Georgetown Hospital.  Thinking about this anniversary led me to thinking about birthdays in general and then about my daughter’s 6^th birthday this fall.  Children’s birthday parties are hard to plan. You need to consider the season, the weather, the temperament of the children, and of course, the type of cake. I love children, but the idea inviting a handful of five & six year olds to my house to run around and do crafts (aka make a mess)? No, not so much.

Last year my daughter did not have a “party.” We took a few girls to see The Princess and the Frog and then went for ice cream.  We struck a deal with my daughter that every other year, she could have a party.  On the off years, the celebration would be smaller.  I digress, back to this being the party year.  

In the midst of all this thinking (yes, I am aware that it is a bit early to be planning a November birthday), I came across the Pepsi Refresh Project- where Pepsi gives away funding for local community based ventures based on the results of an on-line vote.  This led me to “Brightening Birthdays.”  Brightening Birthdays was developed by a Georgetown University business student, Marcy Humphrey to make it possible for children and teens to have birthday parties while in the hospital.  I was struck by the simplicity of this project, and the far-reaching impact that a birthday celebration could have on a child that is hospital bound on their big day.

Parents Need Advocacy Too

It’s been difficult to decide if I should address the topic of Torry Hansen, the woman who sent her 7 year-old adopted son, Justin, on a plane back to Russia. On one hand, if I say that she was wrong, I might be labeled as judgmental. On the other hand, if I said I could understand how she is feeling, people might say I’m a bad mother. Being the mother of a child with special needs-–special with any need--is tough. Most days, I am more of a nurse than a parent. Most days, I spend more hours on the phone with doctor’s offices than I do playing with my son. Most days, the level of chemicals from medications, inhalers, and plastic devices going into his body trumps the levels of chemicals the local waste treatment plant dumps into our water supply.

And it is extremely difficult. I can lie to you and say that look forward to coming home from work everyday. But, there are many days that I dread returning to the land of oxygen tanks bigger than me, vomit-filled clothes lining the floors, and syringes full of sticky medicine lining the counters.

The fact is that I am one of the lucky ones. It is 99.9% probable that by the age of 10, my son will have outgrown his disabilities. Imagine, if you will, a child who will suffer lifelong issues--children on the autistic spectrum, children with severe genetic disorders, children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) like Justin Hansen, who may continue to vomit and poop all over the floor even at age 12. Imagine what it must feel like to love a child, like Justin Hansen, who causes physical harm to those around him, who threatens and fights, and makes you feel worthless. Be honest, wouldn’t you sometimes feel like leaving too?

Thoughts on Health Care After the Swine Flu

I'm scratching my head over the state of health care, but I'm not talking about insurance exchanges, the Stupak Amendment or the "public option."  I'm wondering why we are in a country where you can't get a flu shot, some doctors are holding back Tamiflu and you're treated like a criminal for a box of decongestant tablets.

I had hoped against hope that the swine flu would bypass our house.  I was still on the fence about whether we would get the H1N1 vaccine, but we were diligent about hand washing and sanitizing. Our pediatrician's office had received only a small supply of the vaccine and it had gone to the high risk patients (Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore hardly received any of the vaccine, but I guess if I worked at Citigroup or Goldman Sachs, I could have scored at least one dose for our daughter).

H1N1 Vaccine Worth the 3 ½ Hour Wait

Would you wait 3 ½ hour hours for the swine flu vaccine?  I never thought I would but I did.  Call me crazy but we recently crossed the border into DC and stood in line with tons of other families for the opportunity to get the highly coveted H1N1 vaccine. 

As a teacher, I consider myself in a high risk group.  Just as health care professionals are classified in a risk group due to their exposure to sick individuals on a regular basis, as a teacher, I am on the front lines of dealing with sick kids every single day.  The almost 400 students in my school circulate through my computer lab on a regular basis.  I can only imagine what kinds of germs are living between the keys on the keyboards or multiplying on the mice.  I am borderline obsessive compulsive about washing my hands at work because I know I am a carrier of seasonal flu, cold germs, and swine flu and it is only a matter of time before I bring illness home to my own children.

Swine Flu Survival Guide

My October has been cursed, I tell you. In addition to dealing with my mother's first death anniversary, an unexpected hit-and-run accident (gotta love immoral gits who crash into stationary cars in parking lots), paying for a ridiculous amount of unrelated car repairs, acting a single parent while my husband works until midnight every night, and tending to two Swine Flu-infected kids, I naturally came down with the blasted flu myself -- the exact week the vaccine was being given out approximately 2 miles away from my house. As awful as caring for kids who are sick is, it's a carnival ride compared to parenting while sick. Although I'm still achy (and whiny, as you can tell), I've decided in the spirit of motherly generosity, to provide some unsolicited tips for how to deal with the flu if/when it hits your family, and more importantly, you.

1. Enlist Help, Stat: If you're blessed enough to live within a 50-mile radius of flu-vaccinated parents, siblings and/or in-laws, for the love of all that's sane and holy, call them and ask for help. Unfortunately, I had already enlisted my in-laws for a long-weekend of babysitting earlier this month, and seeing as mine are elderly and live two hours away, it just wasn't feasible to drag them into my germ pit home again so soon. But you are probably luckier than I (having no local family members to harass or beg), and should therefore press the speed-dial on your mobile and round up support troops.

My Mother's Story

I’m one of the lucky ones. My entire life, I’ve had my health care covered by my mother, then my university’s student health system and later by private insurance carriers partially subsidized by large, corporate employers. My mother, however, was not as lucky. Had previous administrations been able to reform health care, she might possibly still be alive today.

In the summer of 2000, my mother, then not quite 59, was diagnosed with two primary cancers – of the cervix and the colon. At the time she worked as a patient care representative at Cedars Medical Center in Miami.

At first, the hospital’s employee insurance covered her surgeries and radiation therapy. In fact, she was treated like a VIP, because of her years of service as a popular patient rep. She went into remission after a few months, but exactly a year after her diagnosis, her colon cancer returned, and another surgery plus a round of chemo left her too weak to work.

Health Care Reform and Children with Chronic Conditions

Living in the DC area, surrounded by neighbors who are lobbyists, Hill staffers and professional thinkers at think tanks, I tend to take my political opinions seriously. There is plenty of lively discussion to go around at playgrounds and carpool lines.

But I have to confess something. I have been harboring mixed feelings about health care reform. Because of this, I haven't done all my research, chatted up those in the know and watched the news coverage. But today, I read all the posts on the various Silicon Valley Moms blogs about health care reform. Then I started doing my research.

Health care reform is inevitable, whether it happens now, or when the system completely collapses. Each year, a larger portion of my husband's paycheck goes to our insurance premiums. And yet, our out-of-pocket expenses for care also climb every year. I have to admit, I have been doing a bit of rationing of care on my own -- failing to schedule a follow-up with my own doctor and even putting off taking one of my children for a cardiology follow-up because our share of the expenses for the doctor visits and tests is becoming astronomical. Just getting ear tubes for my youngest daughter earlier this year cost us well over $1000.

We're Lucky We're Insured, But...

My partner sprung a bombshell on me last week.  His health insurance, which covers himself and our son, would be jumping almost $200 a month for his part of the contribution; from around $450 to $630.  He works for a small company (less than 30 employees), and apparently their insurance provider felt their company had too many claims over the past year so rates were going to be raised.

Now we have a dilemma.  My company's insurance will cover domestic partnerships, so I could add both of them to my plan.  My coverage costs are significantly less than his.  However, my coverage also isn't as good.  I have high co-pays, higher prescription costs, fewer in-network doctors, and most importantly, an extremely high co-pay for emergency visits ($200 for ER and $500 for a hospital stay, plus 10% of costs).  His plan charged nothing when our son had an ER visit that turned in to a hospital admittance last year.

I know we are extremely lucky to not only be covered by insurance, but to have options when it comes to how we're being insured.  However, we're still having to make the same types of decisions as those without insurance.  Namely, how much of a gamble do we want to take with our health?  If we're saving $300 a month on premiums, but then have a hospital stay, we'll lose.  Then again, we've had 1 hospital stay in the past 8 years, so what is the likelihood of having another one in a short period of time?  What about surgery?  Mine charges 10% of costs for outpatient surgery.  What is the going rate for an outpatient surgery?  What about my partner's knee surgery he had earlier this year? 

Healthcare: Agree on All Points, Unsure of Direction

I come at the healthcare reform debate as a mom of two young kids. As the spouse of a government employee, we are fortunate enough to have excellent health insurance. We have lived in two countries and experienced first-hand their socialized medical systems. (It worked for those countries and for us--who didn't pay into the system as diplomats. Not sure how it would work here).

I agree that our healthcare system is in shambles and needs reform.

I agree that other less developed countries have better systems.

I agree that many Americans will not stand for the lengthy queues these countries have for medical care. (Believe me, I saw plenty of "take a number" in both Sweden and Qatar. And you waited . . . a long time.)

I agree that doctors order too many tests.

I agree that doctors often ignore patients when they know something is really wrong.

How Free Public Healthcare in Australia Saved Me

In the summer of 1992 I took a 10-week trip through Australia and New Zealand. One of the many things I eagerly anticipated was the opportunity for horseback riding, something I had enjoyed in my childhood and sorely missed as an adult. I signed up for two rides, one on the beach at Magnetic Island which is off the coast of Queensland near Townsville, and the other at Ross River in the Northern Territory east of Alice Springs. The group ride at Magnetic Island was magnificent, even though the horse they assigned me was a Clydesdale with the name…get this…Clyde. He was truly a gentle giant and I had a wonderful time though I earned a few saddle sores that day and my rear end hasn’t been the same since. Clydesdale aren’t exactly known for their smooth gait. We took a ride to the beach and ran the horses up and down the sand for a while, and then for a treat rode them bareback into the water. Clyde loved that part and thankfully he didn’t roll in the water like a couple of the others.

I should have stopped after that ride because no rides in my memory could ever top that one, but I wanted to ride in the Outback as well. The morning I got up for the group ride at Ross River I should have changed me mind. Let’s just say my horse didn’t want to go for a ride that day and tossed me after only a few minutes. We were already out in a rocky area and I was really fortunate not to land on or hit my head on any of the rocks. I landed on my back in a hard spot, rolled into a really prickly bush, and just laid there face down, unable to move. A few minutes later the others riders came looking for me after my horse streaked past them, riderless. Two of them rolled me over (bad idea) and I threw up. A couple of the riders went back to the cabins and got help. A dusty truck drove up and they carefully lifted me in and drove me back to my cabin. Though I felt a lot of pain in my upper back I couldn’t feel anything below my waist.