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October 07, 2007

Dear Peapod

577369_snow_peas Dear Peapod,

Oh, how thrilled I was when you decided to do grocery deliveries in our area. Of course, you weren't there for us when I was sick and bedridden and had to send my poor husband out for groceries every week. No, you didn't start serving our area until the moment I got better. But I digress.

As a homeschooling mom, I was thrilled to be able to shop for groceries on my laptop while teaching my kids. No more 2-hour long, exhausting trips to the store for me!

And at first, you were wonderful. Your driver was friendly and we looked forward to seeing him each time he came. Your food was wonderful at first, too. Quality products, quality delivery, quality service.

But something happened.

You must have grown weary and bored with our relationship because you just didn't care suddenly. What made you stop caring? Was there another house that appealed to you more? A housewife who tipped better than I did? Just tell me. I can take it.

I want to know why I suddenly got dented cans, expired meats and milks, yucky produce, and an applesauce jar with an inch of mold growing on the top inside.

Did you not notice you were becoming so lax in our relationship? Did you think I would not notice?

Well, I did. And I tried desperately to communicate with you. You always told me you were sorry and you'd try to do better. You would "look into it." Again and again.

Finally, I hit my breaking point. When you delivered frozen groceries that were all melted, and warm refrigerated items, I was seething. You certainly got an ear full from me then, didn't you?

I warned you. I told you that if you ever mess up again, I was walking away. But I think that's what you wanted, wasn't it? Because you had already exited our relationship emotionally it seems.

There were lots of sorry's, but did you offer me coupons? No, not even a measly coupon. I had to beg you for a coupon to make up for your mistakes!

You finally agreed to give them to me and you said you would redeliver all of the bad items for me. Oh, you're always good with the promises, but do you ever really "deliver?" (ha!)

Despite the fact that this was going to be a HUGE hassle for me (you could only come by in the morning the next day when I would normally be sleeping...you couldn't even accommodate me in that regard!), I agreed. Again, letting you know that this was the last chance I was giving you.

I set my alarm and moved my blanket and pillow to the couch to await your arrival. You always arrive when it's convenient for you and I had just better be here when it suits YOUR purposes!

Your driver was very friendly and courteous, but something didn't seem right. He was bringing in bags and bags of groceries. Groceries I'd never ordered. An entire order filled with just about every item I had ever ordered from you over the years!

The driver, who had plenty of other houses to visit, was just as upset as I was by your incompetence. He had better things to do than sort through hundreds of grocery items for the replacement products.

And where was the trust in our relationship? I was the victim. The wronged party. Yet, you expected me to provide all of the spoiled items to the driver to take back. Items he did NOT want on his truck mixing with the good items.

We both called you, pleading for some sanity on your part. But you told him to take back the spoiled items AND all of the other items that were not supposed to be delivered. You told him he had to write a return slip for EACH item and you didn't care how much he protested.

You also didn't care, when he told you that if he returned the spoiled items to the returns section at the store, they would most likely be restocked because those employees would have no way of knowing they were spoiled.

No, you told him to send them to returns anyway. Sour cream, eggs, all sorts of dairy and frozen goods that someone is going to probably eat now and be sick from.

You are a big, mean bully.

You then have the nerve to tell me once again, "I'm sorry. I'll look into it."

Where have you been "looking" all of these times? Because wherever you're looking, the solution obviously doesn't exist there.

So, dear Peapod, I bid you adieu. You can take your $15 in coupons and shove it.

I am done with our relationship for good. No more second chances. No more apologies accepted.

You, Peapod, can just suck it.


<i>Cross-posted at So a Blonde Walks Into a Blog.</i>


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