Chicago Moms Blog

Compassion is the answer

Editor's Note: Janelle has moved over the DC Metro Moms Blog. Please visit her over there. (April 2010)

I'm sitting here in my bedroom with CNN on in the background. Although my heart is breaking and my head aches, I can't turn off the TV. Haiti has been ravished by a terrible earthquake. Lives are literally hanging in the balance as they wait for aid. Children are without parents, parents are without children, food, water and shelter are scarce. A part of me feels if I turn off the TV, I'm allowing myself to retreat to my every day events without taking the time to grieve with those who are grieving. 

I want to be there just as I did when Hurricane Katrina hit. Your natural instinct to help immediately kicks in. But, I know this is not realistic at the moment. Getting into the country is difficult. Yet, once you get there assistance is not fully organized and even the most skilled recovery organizations are working around the clock to get their people in to help Haiti.

Are We a Preschool Family?

Ever since summer ended, I have been more and more focused on finding educational, cheap and entertaining activities for our 2 1/2-year-old. It's been amazing how busy we've become with new playdates, storytime at the library, free visits to museums and craft activities at home. But, last week I attended a playgroup at the Family Grounds Cafe and kept asking myself, "Where are all the two-year-olds?"

We completely enjoyed the cafe, but I felt bad for my daughter because most of the children were much younger than her. I didn't mind it so much because I had great conversation with the other moms, but I wanted my daughter to have fun and interact with kids who could engage her. I thought about it on the ride home while my daughter very coherently explained why she loved the indoor playground. I came to the conclusion that most 2-year-olds are in preschool or daycare throughout the week.

We're a unique family in that both my husband and I work from home. We have the ability to make our own schedules and don't really have a need for daycare or preschool right now. But, a part of us is feeling as if our daughter is missing out on something. Most of the families we know with children near my daughter's age have put their kids in some sort of daycare. I've heard all the good and bad about that choice. It gives you a break, but boy does it break your bank account. Your child has a chance to make her own friends, but you can't always be there to monitor what's going on.

We Need A Solution

We live in such a beautiful city, but there is a growing problem that is destroying our communities. I don't profess to have all of the answers. But, frankly speaking, I'm getting a little sick and tired of reading all of the stories about these young men and women dying in our streets every day. It's heart wrenching to think how they're families are coping with such an irreversible experience. And I keep asking myself, why it won’t stop.

This past summer was a gruesome one for Chicago. Living in a large city, there's an understanding that there will be violence. Anytime you have a large number of people in a concentrated area there's bound to be conflict. Unfortunately in this day and age, conflict mixed with anger, drugs, gangs and guns ultimately leads to a loss of life. Chicago saw a large amount of people, mostly young, die this summer. Last week, another Chicago teen was taken by violence. Derrion Albert was not involved in gangs, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Derrion wasn't killed by guns. He was caught in a gang fight and was beaten to death. This is a whole different level of violence. It was the type of violence that you really can't comprehend. What drives youth to such high levels of anger that they use 2 x 4's, their fists, feet and bodies to bring harm to someone else?

Overwhelmed but not Out

Generally speaking as a mother, I feel confident stepping out into the city. The hustle and bustle doesn't really get to me as I push my daughter in her stroller through busy streets, on and off trains and buses and through small corridors.

Although we have a car, we reserve it for trips outside of downtown or our neighborhood. It makes me feel confident when I have a list of things to do and I get each one accomplished with only a stroller and my feet to get me there.

RESPECT

The death of Michael Jackson is taking over the airwaves, blogs, news outlets and conversations. It's a monumental change to our society and one that I believe deserves some attention. To say Michael inspires me is an understatement. His music provided so many memories of college dances, family gatherings and overall appreciation for the art of music. With such a monumental event, I thought this time we'd get it right. We'd memorialize him the way he should be. That is until, I saw the BET Awards last Sunday.  

Welcome to the Club!

I never thought I would be allowed into the Club, but the month of March was good to me and I have officially been inducted into the Stay At Home Mom Club.  Let me correct that, I'm a partial inductee. I like to refer to myself as a Stay At Home Working Mother. It's been a long journey to get here and just like any new development in my life, I am expecting surprises, struggles and joys. I've learned a lot in the last month and although I can't quite throw out all of my Working Mother magazines, I can allow myself to breathe for a moment.

It's all Chicago's fault

I've heard mothers say this a million times over, "Enjoy each stage while you're there for the next one presents its own difficult challenges." Well, I have finally grasped that concept. I have a 19-month-old recorder, walker and independent thinker in my home. The reality of our current stage hit me when we went to visit my parents for a week. Along with saying Grandpa and Grandma repeatedly (which delighted my parents beyond measure) one of her favorite words was TV! Yep, TV! How about a 'ol pat on the back for that one. 

Would you protest?

A few weeks ago, I was headed home from my downtown office. It was Friday and after a long week, I couldn't wait to get home. I had one of those weeks that just reiterated why I want to be a SAHM. I remember it being particularly cold, so instead of walking to my Metra train, I took CTA. We're headed down Michigan Avenue and suddenly we take a quick turn next to Gap...the one located right at Michigan and Ohio. I looked around and could see that Michigan Avenue was totally blocked off from Ohio going South. The first thing I thought was, "Who in the world is interrupting my commute home?"

Give me a break!

Ok, I have to admit it. Every now and then I check out People Magazineor US Weekly. I know its garbage half the time, but sometimes it's a stress reliever. Ha, my life is busy, but man did you see what type of trouble Joaquin Phoenix is in? Well, tonight I had enough. I'm perusing through photos on People's site and they show a picture of yet another celebrity who just had a baby and is now profiling her slim, post-baby body a month later. I couldn't take it anymore. I wish I could enter a comment right on the photo and say don't you know she has a personal chef, a personal trainer and a nanny! Give me a break!

Be careful what you purge for

Recently, my husband and I decided it was time to purge our home. It was the beginning of winter, my sister was coming to stay with us for a few months and we were tired of the clutter.

I absolutely hate clutter. When I realized I had papers from my undergraduate days and birthday cards from when I was 17, I knew what we had to do. We started gathering trash bags and even had someone come over and help us bring some things down to the storage and trash cans.

As I was going through some of my papers, I found a few notecards I had received from my fellow resident assistants during my junior year at Westmont. Each of the notecards expressed how much they admired how well I managed my dorm during the year, how much they admired my faith and how they really cherished our friendship. I was about to toss the rest of the cards and my eye caught one single word…