Chicago Moms Blog

Chopped Avocados

 A conversation from earlier today with my soon-to-be 5-yr-old.  

"Honey, come downstairs for a second.  It's time to take the dog out." (she always loves to go out with us)

"No thanks mom, I'm ok."

"Oh, errr, ok honey. Are you doing ok up there?"

"Yes, Mom.  I'm just playing in my room.  I want to stay here."

{The rest is in my head}

You Do the Math. No, Really, You Do It.

Mommy Brain.  What is it about that statement that makes me so bothered?  It's not like having kids makes you stupid - right?  Right?

From the time I got pregnant, right on up 'til today, whenever I goof on a bit of simple addition or mix up the continent Trinidad is closest to - people automatically chime in with the seemingly innocuous phrase "Mommy Brain!", followed by the dreaded shoulder shrug.  You can just hear the "Wah Wah Wahhhh" in the background.

I don't know if I'm happy for them to overlook my goof or if I'm ticked because of that damn phrase.  I didn't get pregnant and by default lose brain cells.  Did I?  I mean, that baby didn't suck the brain cells right on out with the breast milk.  Did she? 

I Lie For the Sake of Nutrition and Cooperation

I am a liar.  There.  I said it. I don't do it for malicious reasons, I do it for general passivity from my kids.  It's the easy way out.  I'm confessing here, can't you tell?  I own it.  I, and I alone am accountable for these deceptions.

I have told my children lies.  Some of you will likely say "Well, I never!" but most of the folks I know lie too.  I take mine to an extreme.  It's terrible.  I know.  They're harmless in the short run.  Here's a sampling:

When Does The Shine Wear Off

We moved over 8 months ago.  It was the first time I had moved to a place where I knew no one.  The first time I moved further than a comfortable car-ride away from family and friends. 

I lived in my same hometown until I "grew up" - at which point I moved an hour away.  In the midst of career, marriage and then kids, I was always surrounded by my family and friends.  I really took that "it takes a village" approach and applied it liberally to all aspects of my life.  Sharing the load was not only a given for me, but it was expected by my close ties with family and friends. 

The First Sting of Aging

"Carry Me." she said.

And as she heard me say "I can't darling, you're too heavy," I saw the grin on her face fall.  She knew it and I knew it.  My baby had grown up.  And right at that moment was the first sting of aging.

Mommy Needs to Chill Out

"Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave." - Mary Tyler Moore

A few weeks ago, I reflected on my day, which was a failure.  Sometimes, you don't want to think about the day at all.  But there it is, haunting you, taunting you.  This was one of those times.

The day started out like any other day.  I got up, got the kids moving, got the day going.  But I was in one heck of a mood.  I could tell that this was not going to be a good day, and I could tell that I was the reason why.  I was snappy, crabby and wound up so tight.  It was awful for me, and I imagine the kids weren't having a great time either. 

An Intervention...Brought to you by the color "Siberian Nights"

I struggle often with where the woman I once was has gone. She's been replaced by "Mom".  I don't resent it, I just miss her - that's all.

I look in the mirror at those tired eyes, that "overdue" hair and I think - "Where did Jamie go?" But I'm here.  I'm lurking just beneath the surface, in my stretchy yoga pants and 5K T-shirt.  I'm here under the ponytail and tennis shoes.  Somewhere along the way, I've forgotten to take care of me - probably because I'm so busy taking care of everyone else.

That Time When I Found My Mommy Groove

I watched them for 9 months.  Before then, I only noticed them in a passive way.  I had my opinions on how parenting should be done (don't the ones without kids always have opinions).  However, once I found out I was pregnant, I was a keen observer - and I mean keen.  I got a good idea how I wanted to do it.  I devoured "those" books.  I listened intently to battling advice and decided what seemed most logical.  I devised a plan.  I had a goal.  I was going to do this "mom" thing right.

And then....then, I had a baby.  And my world went nuts.  I could barely keep up with the time of day much less how much stimulation I'd given her and when.  All my months of research and advice went out the window.