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January 24, 2009

His mii friends

Images-2 At what age do children make social friendships? The kind of friendships that take place out of school? When do the sleepovers and the "can Tommy come over to play" start? Is it normal children without siblings to have a hard time making friends?

Something tells me that I'm about to learn the hard way with my eight year old son what happens when making friends for a child isn't as easy as it looks or should be.


My son loves to play but unfortunately he has had to grow up with little to no friends his own age. It has always been him and adults. That is pretty much the only way he has ever know it to be outside from a few hours at day care over the years. With living in a mostly retired aged Chicago neighborhood, the streets are not exactly flooded with school aged kids.

His speech, mannerisms and deep thoughts are so much like an adult that I see him having trouble relating to other children his age sometimes. It's awkward and painful to see. When he does get in a group of kids outside of school or daycare, he is always so unsure of himself. No matter how much we as parents tell him how amazing and great he is, it never seems to give him enough confidence. Truly I think the confidence he needs is other kids *wanting* to play with him. Just getting that to happen is the hard part. Do you walk up to a kid and say, "Hey you on the swing, play with my boy!" Nope.

So while he does knows how to play, he never gets to. He interacts with children at school, it's just that as he has gotten older he hasn't made any "knock on the door to play" friends. No good buddies or lunch pals. No calls to see if he wants to play. Each night it is the same ol' friends, Mom and Dad. Could this just be result of being an only child ?

In his letter to Santa this past Christmas he wrote to ask for friends to play with. Hello? Broken heart calling. As a Mother who wants to give my child anything and everything, I am now at point where I no longer know how to make those friendships happen for him.

Tonight while looking at all of his wii mii characters, I noticed that he has created  mii's for most kids in his class. Thinking that if they ever got to come over, they too will have a mii ready and waiting for them. But tonight he plays alone, with mommy. A mommy who is so desperate for her only son to know and learn to love friendships in his own social circle.Even if only one mii got to get used...

This is an original Chicago Moms Blog Posting

Donya can also be found rambling on her personal blog Crooked Eyebrow and Shrinking Jeans.

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