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September 03, 2007

Goodbye, 0-3

This weekend, I sorted through Kavi's 0-3 clothes. They're so tiny, so adorable. But my baby girl's fourteen pounds now, and while I can still cram her into the clothes if I try, she's really too big for them. Most of the clothes went to Kevin's sister, whose little girl is due in a few weeks. I mentioned the clothes-sorting to my mother, who said, alarmed, "But aren't you going to have more children?" I said I wasn't sure. Friends have been telling us that the second kid isn't twice as much work as the first -- that it's more like four times as much work. Which is, frankly, terrifying, since Kevin and I both feel like we can barely handle the amount of extra work Kavi has brought into our lives. We're doing it, and even managing to get our writing and math done, at the cost of some sleep. But much more work, and I think we'd start getting seriously cranky with each other, and we don't want to have more kids badly enough to sacrifice our relationship.

It took us a long roller coaster time to get to a solidly great place with each other, and there's no way we're willing to give that up. And we both love our work. So we're clear in our minds -- now that we have one kid, we put her, ourselves, and our work first. Another kid only if we can do it without sacrificing much in the previous three categories, and honestly, I'm not sure that's possible. So Kavi may end up an only child, which makes me a little sad, because I love my sisters. But I have friends who are only children and say they're perfectly happy that way. Do they just not know what they're missing? I don't know, but I have to admit; I did save my favorites out of the 0-3 clothes. They're safely tucked away in a drawer. Just in case.

Read more at Mary Anne's blog, An Ongoing, Erratic Diary

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