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May 15, 2007

Bronchitis: FAQs

CoughQ: Is it a good idea to go to work when you have bronchitis?

A: No, decidedly not.  It is a far better idea to stay home in your jammies, reading and posting to blogs all day.  Especially when you are a speech therapist and need your voice to work.  You'd better just lay off the talking.

Q: Is it acceptable to go to the M. Ward/Norah Jones show when you have bronchitis and aren't going to work the next day?

A: Most definitely.  Especially if it's at the gorgeous Chicago Theater and you've already missed both a Wilco and a Lyle Lovett show in the last 8 months due to your children's illnesses.  After all, this is just a Mommy illness!

However, a few things must be kept in mind:

a) try not to tip off those around you that you are actually about to cough up a lung - hold your disgusting cough off until the applause period between each song;

b) although you have to drink water non-stop to keep from coughing, bear in mind that you will not want to leave the show to use the restroom except between sets - this is likely to result in extreme discomfort by the time the encore rolls around;

c) pretend that your cough drops are something less pungent - perhaps an after-dinner mint! - and be confident that those around you will find nothing more than your devil-may-care attitude contagious.

Q: Is it admissible to pick your mother up at O'Hare when you have bronchitis?

A: Yes, but keep in mind that you will talk to her the whole way home in the car, because how can you not? She's your mom.  This may set your voice back just a tad.

Q: At what point should you take yourself to the doctor, exactly?

A: How shall we put this?  Let's just say that when things get Super Nasty (official medical term) in your lungs, it might be time to throw in the towel and get thee to some antibiotics.  A secondary symptom is when your children automatically ask the new-and-improved bedtime questions, "Mommy, can you look at the pictures in this book with me?" and "Can I sing my own song now?"

Q: Should you go ahead and take your son to his Wiggleworms music class when you have bronchitis, haven't been going to work all week, and can't sing?

A: Absolutely.  So what if you're the only one in your pair who was going to sing to begin with?  You want your mom to see your son's cute music class, right?  Right.  Just be warned: when he vomits copiously all over himself in the backseat on the way there, forcing you to turn the car around and go home anyway, expect that the decision may start to feel a little foolish.

Cross posted at The Wonderwheel


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