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October 16, 2008

It's Official -- 5-0 is Here

J0422102 I've been in an odd form of denial for some time now.   As today approached -- the 50th anniversary of my birth -- I had a few random thoughts about what it meant to turn 50 -- I don't feel "old," 50 is the new 30, age is just a number, I'm the same age as Madonna!

But today, it's official.  I have reached the half century mark.  Now, I have been getting plenty of encouragement from some of my other fellow 50-something moms who assure me that today's occasion is not the end of the world.  And watching them, I believe it, yet I am still not so fine with this turn of the calendar.

When my obligatory AARP card came in the mail two weeks ago -- just a tad early, I would say -- I immediately tossed it in the trash.  I don't care if they just go by their initials and have jettisoned the old name of American Association of Retired Persons -- they're not fooling anyone.  Besides, most of us in the 50-something range won't be retiring any time soon after the Wall Street meltdown of recent days.

But here's the thing -- I don't "feel 50."  While I can't really put my finger on exactly what sensation that's supposed to produce, 50 just  doesn't sound like me.  It's not the space I'm in.

I know it's just a number, and you're only as old as you feel, and you're supposed to enjoy the passage of time, but it is a milestone, whether I like it or not.  A milestone that says odds are I have less ahead of me than behind me.  And I have a little problem with that. 

Since I don't have a choice, I'm going to try to find an odd mix today of celebrating, yet staying in that comfy place of denial.  Because if I don't, how will I keep up with my eight-year-old!

You can find Joanne trying to pull her new 50-something self together at her place, PunditMom.

Original 50-something Moms blog post.


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