honey, can you please pass the pitch fork?

Here is the problem:  We live in Palo Alto (need I say more?).  Our house cost way too much money for the amount of space we have (but hey, we can send our kids to the best public schools California has to offer - yippie!).  Our taxes are out of control. Our cost of living is outrageous.  But hey, we get to say we live in Silicon Valley, we have great weather, we are close by Stanford University.... We even live near the smartest and richest people in the world!  Oh, back to reality, cause we are NOT one of "them"..... but our house is "charming".... (which really means  darling and small).  Humpf, just a little "too small" for our family of four.  (Hey, I grew up on the east coast where we had a LOT of room to sprawl out, run around, play, garden, cause trouble and the parents never knew!)  But on our little postage stamp lot, we covet each and every inch of space. 

So our latest discussion is how to get more space.  I think my husband and I are obsessed.  We constantly talk about building out (oh yeah, we already did that, and can't go out anymore).  We talk about going up, but that would mean redoing the foundation of our entire house.  Sorry, can't do that, the budget doesn't exist.  But wait, we have a basement!  Yes, a real, live, tiny basement (house built in 1925, so indeed, it is official.  We have a basement).  Oh, but it leaks when it rains... but I think we fixed that.  Oh, but it always has problems with mold .... but I think we fixed that, too!.  Oh, but it is tiny, and in the flood zone of Palo Alto.  There is NO WAY we can get a permit to extend the basement because we are deemed "in the flood zone".  Sorry Asher Family, It is just "not allowed". 

I can only imagine the conversation: 

Me:  But our house is really small.  We ALREADY have the basement.... so why don't you please grant us a permit to extend it JUST a few feet.  We fixed the leaks.  We fixed the mold.  We promise to make it really useful, and spend many hours down there.  They toys will go in the basement.  The future pinball machines will go there as well.  I am sure when my kids are teenagers they will be making out in the basement!  Please?

Evil City Planners:  NO.  We don't care what you paid for your house, you fool!  Didn't you read the fine print?  No basements for homes in the flood zone!  Oh, and yes... since you are in the flood zone, you foolish family, you must purchase additional flood insurance.  Now go away and don't come back, sucker!  We don't care that last time you were here we made you cry (during our first home remodel a few years ago).... and we don't care now! 

Me.  Sigh.  No make out room for my future teenage daughters.

So that got me thinking (which is really scary, cause I am a parent and shouldn't have any time to think about these things) - why couldn't my husband and I just dig out some extra space by ourselves?  Really, how hard can it be?  Then I am slapped back to reality with the thought of this conversation.  "Honey, can you please pass the pitch fork.  I think that I can pry out that rock.  Ouch!  Wait, the dirt is falling on my head."