Stuck in Contractor Hell

Or perhaps purgatory. I'm not Catholic - is that who has purgatory? I forget. Anyway, I'm stuck in that place where I'm at the mercy of a bunch of people I barely know who are holding my new home ransom and there's no way I can move in until they're done.

These contractors are all nice people. They are getting things done - slowly - but they say they're waiting for each other and do nothing, they don't return my phone calls or email, they don't show up when they say they will, they don't provide estimates when they say they will, their estimates include later dates than they initially promised, the work costs more than originally planned, they find more problems than anticipated, the design didn't quite work as planned, or (my biggest irritant) they just don't communicate all of the details and we end up paying for it with several hours or days lost.

The problems and increased costs I expected - to a certain extent. There are always things that go wrong. But everything else I chalk up to this unspoken law of contractors that they can get away with murder because they're already holding you ransom. Is it really necessary that it be this way?

I have my defense, sure. I always have a few phone numbers in my back pocket (literally) of other contractors I can call and other people who know other contractors who I can call if these fail me. But they do just a good enough job that I let them keep going because at least something is getting done. And I'll take something over nothing.

To be clear, our general contractor has actually done excellent work. He hasn't always gotten things done when he said he would (which begs the question: why did he say he would if he wasn't sure? I never understood that), but his crew works hard and they speak native English which I find extremely helpful.

Back to communication. Is it too much to ask that they attempt some? I'm available 24x7. I'll take phone calls, voicemail, in person meetings, email, text messages, pony express, snailmail, or the carrier pigeon. I frankly don't give a damn - I just want people communicating with me and each other to get the the house done.

I have told them we need to move into our house next weekend. We're paying for 2 houses now. We can't afford this limbo. We can't list or sell our current home until we're in the new one because we have a toddler, cats, me still on some minimal bedrest, and a house overflowing with stuff. (Just take my word for it - we can't. Unless we move twice, stay in a hotel, board our cats... all that would cost more than what we're paying daily for 2 houses.) So we're paying these 2 or 4 or however mortgages they are. I've already forgotten... I'm buried in contractor hell.

But that doesn't even matter. They shouldn't have to know why we need the house ready. They should just do it. Maybe I'm coming across as Cruella DeVille or the Devil in Prada but I can't help it. On some days, I feel like threatening people is the only thing that will work. I do the sweet talk when I can, when I'm emotionally stable. But this stuff is driving me batty and I'm at my wit's end. There's more to the tale - like why we need to move in the first place, but that's for another day.