Silicon Valley Moms Blog

One Child Left Behind

It was bound to happen.  My schedule changes so frequently.  Working three days of the week, son in kindergarten then off to afternoon care, daughter in daycare.  Two days a week I am home: toting the boy to school, caring for the baby girl, then back to school mid-day to pick the boy up.  Add to this that my husband, who works as a cameraman and TV editor, is frequently traveling, and also has a schedule that changes day to day - and let's just say if we didn't have a giant white board telling us what to do next...we'd forget what to do next.

And so it was inevitable that the moment I would find a free minute to spare for myself, something would go dreadfully wrong.

I spent that minute checking in on my garden. Cool season vegetables can be so finicky. You really need to keep an eye on them.  My 9 month-old daughter was in a happy place and willing to play in her exersaucer in the backyard with me.  The alternating hot and cold weather and the constant threat of snails were worrying me. Would the weather cause my broccoli to bolt and produce flowers instead of veggie? Would the rain bring the snails to feast on my cauliflower? Besides my children, these are the thoughts that keep me up at night. But suddenly another thought: what time is it? I ran past my daughter, into the kitchen, and there it was - staring me in the face: 12:00pm.  The exact time my son gets out of school.

All I want for Christmas is... time.

I can feel it coming. The email. The one that comes every year a week or so before Christmas, sometimes earlier.

"What do you want for Christmas this year?"

It'll come from one sister, the other will be CCd, and I'll let it sit there for a moment before I click Reply All.

In the past my reply would have been filled with a variety of things that could easily be found online or in stores. This year though, I think my sisters might have a bit more trouble with my list.

Here's what I want for Christmas.

Pre-Travel Stress Syndrome

Traveling with your family can be fun.  Traveling with your family during the holidays can be fun, but a bit hectic.  Traveling with your family during the holidays to stay with relatives for three weeks is fun and hectic, but keeping everyone entertained and happy requires a lot of advance planning and scheduling of the part of the grownups.  Throw in a 14-hour flight, 16-hour time difference and 25-degree temperature difference and it can feel like you're embarking on a major lifestyle change!  Which is why, for the past five days, I've found myself wide awake and alert by 6:30AM, itching to get up, with "What should I be doing today?" thoughts racing through my head. I've come down with PTSS -- Pre Travel Stress Syndrome.

If you think PTSS doesn't exist, just take a look at the photo.  The person bending over ungracefully on the far right is me.  Only a person suffering from PTSS would allow her ass to be photographed that way.

Silicon Valley, Lego land

Credit where credit is due. After complaining the other week about the bizarre inability of so many Silicon Valley parents to allow their kids time to just tinker around with stuff, I was happy to find myself at an event this last weekend positively swarming with would-be tinkerers, young and old.

The occasion was the sixth annual holiday Lego exhibition at Palo Alto's Museum of American Heritage. Checking out this show of generally stunning inventiveness (put on by the Bay Area Lego Users Group and the Bay Area LEGO Train Club) has become an annual tradition for our family -- and many others, too, judging by the crowd that had ditched their usual weekend routines to turn up last Sunday morning.

This time I was there with just my son, which put us in the majority family grouping. I don't remember ever seeing as many young boys and their fathers all in one place and so completely in mutual agreement that what was in front of them was absolutely, unarguably super-cool. The boys were mostly elementary school kids. The dads, I'd guess, were mostly engineers and entrepreneurs -- the sort of people most responsible for the Valley's distinctive culture.  

Why I'm dumping George Clooney

What’s not to love?

He has it all.   He’s politically correct, witty, speaks Italian, beloved by Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts and all the women I know—who would line up to give him their hand in marriage or their vote for president or their firstborn child.

I was always at the front of that line—and I’ll line up to see Up in the Air.   But our personal relationship has run its course.

The break up isn’t what you think—-though I admit that goat movie didn’t help.

And it’s not sour grapes because a woman named Amy Ferris wrote a wonderful book I wish I wrote called Marrying George Clooney. It’s not even sour grapes that Marrying George Clooney might  actually happen to that Italian beauty he’s dating.    If he does marry her,  I hope she gets fat I wish them lots of happiness.

But we’re officially over— due to the oldest reason in the book:  I’m dumping him for someone else.

My change of heart has been coming for a long time.  And it hasn’t been an easy decision; it’s taken soul searching—and even overcoming some Freudian issues— because George looks like a hip version of my father at that age.   And maybe age is the key word here:  mine.   At this age—and this stage—- I’m all over George— and I’m all about Alec Baldwin. 

German Christmas Traditions Alive in Marin County

Living in Marin County (Northern California) we don’t always have deep cultural diversity – if anything our local culture is skewed toward the Latin traditions, which are also lovely, but not as unfamiliar to us as the newly discovered German traditions. Into our lives came an adorable German young woman named Milena, while she has been living with us she continues to share her culture in both every-day ways and holiday-inspired traditions. 

 

While I’ve often had an advent calendar, I really didn’t know the history behind the tradition, but for me any excuse to eat chocolate, religious or otherwise, is welcome. With Milena sharing her childhood stories, and eager to do this art project she enjoyed as a youngling, I felt inspired to do a bit of digging into the history behind the tradition.

 

Time to Let the Elf Out of the Bag? The Santa Myth

Every holiday season my kids ages 8, 8, 10 &12 ask questions about the jolly man in the big red suit. They pose the typical questions, "How does he fit down our chimney when he is so fat?" "Why are there so many Santas?" "How does he get to all the children's homes around the world in just one night?" and this year the very direct, "Are you Santa?" To which I casually replied "no" and then quickly changed the subject.

While many psychologists would say that when your child starts asking questions about Santa Claus, you should take this as a sign that they are ready to hear the truth, I just can't bring myself to let the elf out of the bag.  And watching the way my twelve year old is handling this holiday tradition is leading me to believe that maybe I don't have to.

I'm certain my 12 year old knows that Santa does not exist even though we have not come out and admitted it.  It's almost as if he's gone through the Stages of Santa going from a devout believer, to doubtful supporter, to fantasy advocate.  He's come to our side of the secret on his own and is unknowingly helping to keep the magic alive for his siblings.

He is often the first one to answer his brothers suspicious questions with elaborate creative answers. For example when they asked, "Do elves really make all the toys?" My oldest explained that electronic toys are too hard to make so sometimes Santa needs to get the toys from Target or Toys R Us.  I thought this was a terrific answer and the boys totally bought it and I know my oldest doesn't really believe this.

Warrior Training: Explaining Womanhood To My Daughters

A friend was telling me about a Confirmation retreat he ran recently for the young men at his church. (Confirmation is a Catholic sacrament akin to a spiritual coming-of-age.) Although he knew these boys had grown up on Facebook and Nintendo, he was still a bit shocked to find that few of their parents had ever discussed manhood with them beyond the basic, biological facts. So he asked them, What does it mean to be a man? And I thought, Did anyone ever discuss with me what it means to be a woman? It’s one of those things you just absorb, growing up. Some days it feels like I need a superhero cape to get through everything I do. But perhaps discussing that cape's significance is more important than I had realized. But how do I explain it to my girls?

Given that this friend of mine is a martial arts expert, it came as no surprise he emphasized the warrior aspect of manhood. (In my parents’ day, confirmation rites actually included a slap on each cheek to remind initiates of their new role as “soldiers for Christ”, so he wasn’t far off.) But did he mean these young men had to be prepared to defend their faith with whatever weapons necessary? Being a warrior, he said, means assessing a situation, understanding the right path to take, and following that path. Okay. In that sense, being a woman means being a warrior, too. And I know some pretty kick-ass babes.

Bringing Hanukkah Back

I'm not sure if it's the sucky economy or my deficit of social skills but I have a distinct lack of holiday parties in my future, so I decided to throw a Hanukkah party.  One thing about these versus Christmas parties is you don't really have to worry about decorations, just serve lots of fried food and you're set (well, that might be said of most parties).  Of course given that we're "interfaith" half our house is full of Christmas tidings and I've relegated the menorahs, dreidels and 8 small gifts to the other half.  Throwing parties not only forces me to clean up the house, but allows me to indulge in one of my favorite pastimes, seeking out new recipes on the wide world of the web (love the new food blogger search feature).  I also got to use my special shopping skills to find the tiny sections of blue and yellow among the see of silver and gold in every store these days.  Longs (oops, CVS) actually had the best dreidels after the actual Judaica store, I scored a colorful menorah on sale at Marshalls and Wallgreens had the cheapest Hanukkah wrapping paper. 

Given that this is the season of overextended lives, I'm looking at about a 10% return rate on RSVPs, but those gatherings give you a chance to actually talk to the other folks.  I did get a bit nervous when thought one of the families was Jewish.  In a sea of semi-religious Christian friends, I can pull off some expertise, as long as they don't ask too many questions.  I offered to bring in dreidels and cookies to my son's kindergarten class (they had actually just learned a spanish dreidel song, so I was a little behind the curve), and the teacher asked me if I could tell a little history. Sadly my on-the-spot knowledge pretty much stops at the first part of the prayer said over the candle lighting.   At my hesitation, she said "Are you Jewish?"  Fortunately the library and Internet are a great resource.  One year I decided to make latkes and light the candles at my MIL's house.  Her Mormon neighbor had to answer the more detailed questions from my curious relatives.

Blacktop Wisdom

I am starting to feel so geezer-like. And it’s not because anything aches or has become particularly saggy of late—it’s just that I have this overwhelming urge to impart my wisdom on the misguided youth around me.

Now, if these youth were under the age of 12, this might be appropriate. But the truth is, this middle school mom is looking down from the pulpit at the rookie elementary school parents below her.

I’m telling you—some of those whippersnappers just don’t get it. 

The Mall Police: Me

My mom was in a wheelchair when I was a kid. She's all good now, but a few childhood things remain. One, having a mom in a wheelchair gets you to the front of every line at Disneyland. Two, wheelchair races are not for sissies;  and three, the closer you get to the holidays, the harder it is to navigate stores. As you know, wheelchair-bound or not, shopping displays. life-size Santas and hoards of merchandise racks are a bitch to work around.

My Mall Police badge of honor started in 2003 when my twins were born. I'd gone to the mall and realized in horror that I couldn't get through aisles in stores I normally could navigate with my double-wide Twin Savvy Stroller (or any of the other six strollers I had at the time). I walked into a store in San Jose and literally could not get to the items I wanted to see. As I pulled my stroller backwards to wiggle my way in, I noticed a wheelchair-bound woman trying to shop in the aisle. Eventually she gave up and left the store. In a rage, so did I.

Staples Giveaway - Enter to win a $200 Shopping Spree at STAPLES!

This post is sponsored by Staples

Contest is closed and we have a WINNER!

*****commenter STIMEY!!!*******

Staples is making it easy to save this holiday season with killer deals. Visit Staples stores anytime for serious savings, and be sure to also visit new Holiday Gift Center at Staples.com/holidaysavings for the latest holiday gift ideas and deals!

This holiday season, Staples is giving away a $200 holiday shopping spree to a lucky parent!

Staples and Silicon Valley Moms Group randomly selected one blogger from each Silicon Valley Moms Group region to go on their own $200 Staples shopping spree!  Look at what they had to say:

• Cristie from New Jersey Moms Blog posted about Pens and Paperclips and Printers, oh my! 
• Jill from DC Metro Moms Blog found out that Staples + Husband + Black Friday = Bargains!
• Farrah from Chicago Moms Blog posted that Sharpies Make Me Smile
• Liz from LA Moms Blog posted that Staples Has More Than Staples
• Julie from Philly Moms Blog posted about Staples Holiday Shopping on Black Friday
• Ana from Silicon Valley Moms Blog posted about Shopping for the Perfect Holiday Present at Staples
• Denise from Rocky Mountain Moms Blog decided to Load Up The Family, We're Going To Staples 
• Dagmar from New York City Moms Blog shared what she bought at Staples.
• Angie from Deep South Moms Blog went Holiday Shopping Staples Style

Now.... it's your turn to receive a $200 giftcard to Staples!

TIMING: This giveaway contest will run from December 3, 2009 to midnight December 10, 2009 and announced just after December 11, 2009 – giving the winner another two weeks to shop before Christmas!

CONTEST DETAILS:

PRIZE: One $200 Staples Giftcard.

HOW TO ENTER: We will be using the website Random.org's List Randomizer to choose the winner. To ENTER please leave a comment to share what is on your holiday gift list. One comment will equal one entry - multiple entries (comments) are accepted - but only ONE COMMENT per hour.

When commenting, please input your email address into the info section (Email Address: Not displayed with comment) and NOT in the comments section (so to keep it private, we will not share any emails). We will need to share the winner's email with Staples to get the prize delivered. Product can ONLY be shipped to US addresses, and Staples Gift Cards can ONLY be redeemed at Staples US stores.

My 1st God Daughter now look at you!

This photo is of my god-daughter, Claire Sloan, it was made by her too.  A very long 6 hour exposure while she slept.  She sleeps so peacefully here now, BUT that was not the case when she was young.  Yes Claire I remember, you ruled the roost sort of speak.  In fact there used to be a picture of you as a little one year old I believe, with the title, "Commander and Chief" or was it "All Hail the Queen?".  Your folks hung it over their bed.  We laughed when we saw it, we knew eventually you would grow into a wonderful girl and then a grown up. 

I remember when your folks invited me to be your god-mother, I was so very honored and still am!  I had no clue about being a god-mother, nor a mother for that matter when my turn came.  I traveled, and lived in another city far from you, but I watched you grow.  I really did get back into town to attend a few of your early birthday parties.  I remember spending a day with you, to just take photo's of you.  I liked to think of it as my version of a day in the life of.....Claire Sloan.  My favorite photo of the little book was the last one, of you holding on to a wrought iron gate, pleading with your eyes to be let out.  No you were not in jail, it just looked like it.

I watched how you responded when your mom spoke to you.  At first, I thought she was crazy,

Tis the season to...steal an identity?

Over the last few years, I've heard people talk about identity theft, but I never really paid too much attention. I don't know why. I guess I figured it wouldn't happen to me. Didn't it mostly happen to those people who gave out their credit card or social security numbers online to people or companies who they didn't know? I would never do that so I thought I was pretty safe.

On Thanksgiving day, I was lounging in bed with my laptop. I rarely get this time to lounge. I was relaxing while checking Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, and my bank account. Wait a minute...what was this iTunes charge for  $49.44? I didn't buy anything for $49.44. I questioned my 9 year old (Professor). My children frequently play games on my iPhone (hence the reason they are getting iPod Touches for Christmas... so I can actually use my iPhone). Professor was playing iPhone app games the night before at Calafia after dinner while the adults chatted. He said he didn't purchase any apps and I believed him because what game app would cost $49.44? They usually don't go over $2.99. I reviewed my bank account transaction history over the last week. There were  other iTunes charges that I didn't make...$17.05 and $44.93. Yicks! What was going on?