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Archive - Rocky Mountain Moms

July 11, 2009

Not in MY Neighborhood

Picture 9 We don't want to think about it.  We want to believe that our children are safe in our neighborhoods.  We want to believe that when we send them out to play that they will be fine, just like we were.  We need to believe that the areas that we have chosen to live are safe havens where our children can grow up in sweet innocence.

I thought this was true of my neighborhood until last Thursday.  I went to get my 5 year old from his friends house when I heard a woman crying.  She is my neighbor, Carol.  She had adopted her grandson and granddaughter a little over a year ago.  Their parents were both in jail and this woman took them in and was caring for them.  These kids had come to my house many times.  I coached the little boy in Tee Ball.  I wanted to find out why Carol was crying, why she kept saying, "I don't understand why you're doing this" to the men that were parked out front of her house.  I wanted to stop, but couldn't.  My Mom was at my house with my other two children and needed to be leaving.  So I walked on.

Continue reading "Not in MY Neighborhood" »

July 10, 2009

What Happened to the Girl I Married?: Join us for Silicon Valley Moms Group's next Book Club on Friday, July 17th

What Happened to the Girl I Married?-1 Let's face it - sometimes a couple's relationship changes once they have kids. Join us Friday, July 17th as we discuss the book What Happened to the Girl I Married by Michael Miller and talk about what we think happened for our next book club.

About What Happened to the Girl I Married (from the author's website):
In What Happened to the Girl I Married?, Miller steps out of his corporate executive job and into his wife’s uncomfortable shoes at home. With no staff or administrative assistants to support him, Miller’s “ah hah moments” begin on day one and become more profound with each step down the path. Through his journey, Miller offers a new found appreciation for the tireless efforts of stay-at-home mothers and clues as to why women might lose themselves in the job. For the men they married, Miller lets them connect with his evolution through humor, man-isms and motivations for change that are hard to resist.

In his journey to enlightenment in What Happened to the Girl I Married?, through both laughter and tears, Miller provides readers with:

  • A revealing perspective on the job of a stay-at-home parent and appreciation for it’s unique challenges
    (from a man who never had it)
  • Creative imagery and colorful examples to help communicate the job’s complexities and the feelings they can generate that are sometimes hard to put into words
  • A non-threatening way for the partner of the stay-at-home parent to examine how their words and actions might be contributing to a loss of self worth and identity
  • Ideas for small, manageable changes that can have a big impact on the relationship, and how the stay-at-home parent feels about themselves and their job
  • A simple terminology that both partners can use to help get their love affair back on track and keep it that way

What Happened to the Girl I Married? is an honest and enlightening love story that’s funny and thought-provoking throughout. The story’s messages help heal old wounds and offer both partners a language to get back on a loving path together – and stay on it.

Read along with us: Buy your copy of the book today and get ready to discuss with us on Friday, July 17th. See you at book club!

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

Boys Will Be Boys?

Cheating Am I the only one who's tired of hearing about politicians catting around on their wives?  Seriously sick. of. it.  I've gone through this enough in real life with girlfriends whose husbands just can't keep it in their pants, and break up entire families chasing after some skirt who ends up leaving him 6 months down the road. 
I feel like every time I listen to NPR I hear another governor resign from his post due to a sordid affair with a {fill in the blank here} nanny, intern, neighbor, fellow politician.  I know it didn't start with President Clinton, and it certainly won't stop with Senator Edwards, but isn't there a line in the sand somewhere?  Maybe this is the feminist in me but I can't help thinking that if Nancy Pelosi pulled something even half as repulsive as these cheating jerks, she'd be thrown out on her tail, no questions asked. 

Continue reading "Boys Will Be Boys? " »

July 09, 2009

What Can You Do?

J0427595 It's all over the news, death.  Celebrities, soldiers, civilians, grandparents, parents, children, no one is immune.  It happens.

Death is hard.  We don't understand it.  We don't understand why some people die while others live.  We don't understand why some children are left to bury their parents when they are young and some parents are left to bury their children.  It seems that no matter the age of the person who died, people will grieve. 

I have a good friend who has lost a child.  After the death of her daughter, her husband said that it was harder losing his Mother when he was 11 than it was to lose his daughter.  I have a hard time imagining that as I have also had a child die.  But everyone handles grief differently.  It effects everyone differently.  And we really don't know what to do or say when someone has a loved one die.

Because I have been stumbling along the broken path of a parent who has lost a child for almost 6 years now, I will share with you some of the things I have learned.  While my experiences are those of a Mother losing her child, they really do apply to anyone who is grieving.

Continue reading "What Can You Do?" »

July 08, 2009

A Boulder Valley School District Open Enrollment Tale

BVSD_Denise Over six years ago when my husband and I purchased our house, we saw it as a short term investment in our future. We bought within our means, not above our means even though ARM and interest only mortgages were the norm. We also knew it was a starter home, I imagined moving within five years. The thought of our neighborhood school being one of the lowest performing in our school district weighed heavily in the back of my mind. We brushed it off as we won't be living here when our children are in Kindergarten (at the time we weren't trying to get pregnant). 

Two months after closing on our house, I was pregnant. 

Continue reading "A Boulder Valley School District Open Enrollment Tale" »

July 07, 2009

Is it time for The Talk?

Fish kiss Crack investigators that they are, my children don’t wait until I am ready before they fire off their questions.  And it’s always before I’ve poured my first cup of coffee.  If I had time to prepare, my answers would be well constructed and age appropriate.  I wouldn’t resort to euphemisms.  Political and ethical land minds would be dodged with ease.

On Monday, we tackled gay marriage, a topic I handled deftly, redirecting and answering all at the same time.  Marry anyone you like as long as they are not already related to you, I told my daughters.  Your mission, I explained, is to go out and find new people to add to our family.  Dad may be cool, but he’s already ours, so keep looking.

On Tuesday morning the topic introduced circa seven in the morning was periods.  My eight year-old heard a wrapper crinkling and was hot on my trail--

Continue reading "Is it time for The Talk?" »

July 03, 2009

Ultrasounds, x-rays and enemas ... oh my!


Xray I grew up hearing how as, a Mom, there's nothing you want more than to take away your child's pain.  I now know what that really means.

It's the night before we were supposed to drive back to Denver and our son starts getting fussy and soon moves into inconsolable.  Our kiddo gives us bedtime kisses and happily sleeps for eleven hours at night.  This kiddo was waking every 2.5 hours screaming.  There were intermittent moments of calm, but mostly crying and screaming.

We go down the checklist:
* diaper
* gas
* hunger
* thirst
* a hair wrapped around something it shouldn't 
* teething

When all of those were met with satisfactory results, we drove around for an hour.  Damn!  He's still awake.  We drove around for another hour.  Sleep.  Ahhh ... 

Two hours later, screaming.  

Continue reading "Ultrasounds, x-rays and enemas ... oh my!" »

July 02, 2009

Looking for work: Why does it feel like I'm dating again?

Dating I've been a freelance writer for 17 years, and during that time, I was lucky enough to have a big corporate client who never stopped sending work my way. I cranked out copy furiously, day after day, week after week, month and month, never worrying about where the next job would come from. But then the economy collapsed -- and my gravy train derailed. Now after a long job search, I've finally found work again. As I think about the experience of ending one long-time client relationship and building a couple of new ones, I'm struck by how much the whole thing felt like Dating 2.0. Here's how it all went down.

The beginning of the end. Nothing was really wrong with our relationship, but things weren't right either. The phone didn't ring. The emails dwindled. And on those rare occasions when I'd hear from him, he had very little to say. Then, when I tried to pin him down about the future, he was evasive.

Dumped. On that fateful day when he severed our relationship, he used those infamous words. "It's not you. It's me. I'm the one with the problem. You're great. I'd love to stay with you forever, but I just can't commit to you or anyone else right now."

Depressed. Cut loose from a long relationship, I did what any normal girl would do. Put on my yoga pants. Lost myself in Jerry Springer. Ate bowl after bowl of cold macaroni and cheese.

Continue reading "Looking for work: Why does it feel like I'm dating again?" »

July 01, 2009

Some words are just too long to say

Question mark person Ok guys, get your shoes on and head out to the car!

The v or the hi?

Huh?

The v or the hi?

Dude, it's 7:30 in the morning and the caffeine hasn't hit yet. What are you talking about?

The van or the hybrid?

<Good grief.> The van. Just like every other morning. The van.

Continue reading "Some words are just too long to say" »

June 30, 2009

Small Town Celebration

J0440265 Our small town began its annual Fourth of July celebration today, kicking off a week-long celebration with a pancake breakfast in the park.  My co-workers and I walked over this morning and had breakfast while The Boss stayed at the office to answer phones; we do it every year, and then spend the rest of the morning complaining about how full we are, how sleepy we are as we slip into the wonderful, carb-induced coma which comes from pancakes and hash-browns. 

This is my town at its finest, though.  The Kiwanis Club members frying sausage in their little green aprons while in the background someone is singing a terrible rendition of "God Bless America."  At 10:00, the Catholic church will send into the air the beginnings of tamale-scented steam, while right next door the Methodist Boost begins to shuck hundreds of ears of corn to boil and slather with butter.  At lunchtime, there will be throngs of people flocking to the square to eat lunch and buy raffle tickets for different things,  children screaming aloud with pleasure and with pain, and always, always, the scent of popcorn and cotton candy and sweat.  A little slice of America right smack dab in the middle of our podunk Idaho town.

Continue reading "Small Town Celebration " »

June 28, 2009

Testimony by Anita Shreve: A Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Club

Testimony by Anita Shreve This month, for Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers' monthly book club, we read a novel that many of us, as mothers, found tough to read. But probably every mother should read it. And their teenagers too - especially their teenagers.

Join in as Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers discuss the book Testimony by Anita Shreve.

    More posts will be put up throughout the day on our writer's personal sites, so be sure to check back to follow along.

    .... and if you have a post up on YOUR personal site on this topic, please leave a comment here and we will add your link!

About the book - from the publisher Hachette Book Group:

At a New England boarding school, a sex scandal is about to break. Even more shocking than the sexual acts themselves is the fact that they were caught on videotape. A Pandora's box of revelations, the tape triggers a chorus of voices--those of the men, women, teenagers, and parents involved in the scandal--that details the ways in which lives can be derailed or destroyed in one foolish moment.

Writing with a pace and intensity surpassing even her own greatest work, Anita Shreve delivers in TESTIMONY a gripping emotional drama with the impact of a thriller. No one more compellingly explores the dark impulses that sway the lives of seeming innocents, the needs and fears that drive ordinary men and women into intolerable dilemmas, and the ways in which our best intentions can lead to our worst transgressions.

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

A day out with my daughter

Mail My husband Paul loves the great outdoors. Or should I say loves BEING out in the great outdoors. I don’t. I just love looking at it from the windows of my car. So this weekend when invited to go back country camping yet again with him and our son, Nathan, I naturally declined. And so did my daughter, Lucie. We opted for the much more civilized version of fun, an All Girl Party Weekend.

Most times when the fellas are off doing father-son activities like golfing, I use it to catch up with work or household chores. Lucie doesn’t mind  and occupies her time with elaborate art projects, playing with her doll house, and watching TV marathons of iCarly. However, this weekend, even though I had several deadlines looming and three baskets of laundry that needed to be folded, I wanted to spend some one on one time mom-daughter time with her. Frankly, I miss my little Lucie. This summer she’s gone all day at camp. Then with her brother’s insane pee wee baseball schedule, family time has been scarce. Often we don’t get home until 8 or 9 p.m., and have just enough energy to take showers and brush teeth before hitting the sack.

I love spending time with Lucie, though at times she so noisy and wiggly that she gets on my nerves. Still, she’s funny, smart, a bit goofy, and adorable, just like her dad, but much easier to pick up and squeeze.

After an intense couple of weeks of planning, I got a vague idea of what she wanted to do – activities like getting our nails done and going to the “eye shadow store” whatever that was. We added a movie, “Imagine That” with Eddie Murphy, a story about a workaholic dad and his seven-year-old daughter. I knew a story about a little girl with a magic blankie would appeal to Lucie, she she has several magic blankies of her own. Lucie also needed to get her bangs cut, so between nails and hair, I knew we had to visit one of the area malls, too. Maybe I could squeeze in a few errands while we were at it - a good plan so far.

We’re off!

Continue reading "A day out with my daughter " »

June 26, 2009

Video Killed the Radio Star.......

-4 And now our biggest video stars of the 1980's are dead. It's hard to believe two such amazing icons of my teen years are gone. So many memories. So much nostalgia.

Farrah Fawcett. Honestly, it's impossible to even think of her without flipping my hair back hoping for those perfect feathers. Of course, my mind goes right from there to Lee Majors, The Six Million Dollar Man. And then the poster - you know the one, she is sitting on a striped blanket wearing a red swimsuit. Her perfectly curled and feathered hair blowing around her even more perfect smiling face. Every teen boy AND girl had it hanging on their wall. I think it was somewhere between Scott Baio and Henry Winkler in my room.

Cancer is an ugly, horrible thing. I should know. I've watched my mother-in-law and my husband go through it. It is truly sad to know such a beautiful person was taken in such an ugly way. RIP Farrah, Rest In Peace.

Continue reading "Video Killed the Radio Star......." »

June 25, 2009

Dear Kate: Welcome to Single Motherhood

-1 Dear Kate So it's official -- Jon and Kate Plus 8 will now be Jon and Kate's 8 Divided by 2. After lawyers and paperwork and arguments and signatures Kate, mother of eight will become Kate, single mother of eight. Her life will forever change in ways she can't even imagine so based on personal experience and that of my single mom friends I thought I'd give her a heads up of what to expect...

  • If you think you've cried yourself out, think again. Moments and circumstances will jump up and smack you down. Being a single parent is not for wimps. You'll feel overwhelmed. You'll feel like you're doing everything and good at nothing.
  • Your ex-husband will become a party animal. Women will be all over him (still). Single dads are like puppies. Women love to take them in. He will have lots of dates. Women will date him because of the children. Men will not date you for the same reason.

Continue reading on our sister site, 50-something Moms Blog.

July 11, 2009

Not in MY Neighborhood

Picture 9 We don't want to think about it.  We want to believe that our children are safe in our neighborhoods.  We want to believe that when we send them out to play that they will be fine, just like we were.  We need to believe that the areas that we have chosen to live are safe havens where our children can grow up in sweet innocence.

I thought this was true of my neighborhood until last Thursday.  I went to get my 5 year old from his friends house when I heard a woman crying.  She is my neighbor, Carol.  She had adopted her grandson and granddaughter a little over a year ago.  Their parents were both in jail and this woman took them in and was caring for them.  These kids had come to my house many times.  I coached the little boy in Tee Ball.  I wanted to find out why Carol was crying, why she kept saying, "I don't understand why you're doing this" to the men that were parked out front of her house.  I wanted to stop, but couldn't.  My Mom was at my house with my other two children and needed to be leaving.  So I walked on.

Continue reading "Not in MY Neighborhood" »

July 10, 2009

What Happened to the Girl I Married?: Join us for Silicon Valley Moms Group's next Book Club on Friday, July 17th

What Happened to the Girl I Married?-1 Let's face it - sometimes a couple's relationship changes once they have kids. Join us Friday, July 17th as we discuss the book What Happened to the Girl I Married by Michael Miller and talk about what we think happened for our next book club.

About What Happened to the Girl I Married (from the author's website):
In What Happened to the Girl I Married?, Miller steps out of his corporate executive job and into his wife’s uncomfortable shoes at home. With no staff or administrative assistants to support him, Miller’s “ah hah moments” begin on day one and become more profound with each step down the path. Through his journey, Miller offers a new found appreciation for the tireless efforts of stay-at-home mothers and clues as to why women might lose themselves in the job. For the men they married, Miller lets them connect with his evolution through humor, man-isms and motivations for change that are hard to resist.

In his journey to enlightenment in What Happened to the Girl I Married?, through both laughter and tears, Miller provides readers with:

  • A revealing perspective on the job of a stay-at-home parent and appreciation for it’s unique challenges
    (from a man who never had it)
  • Creative imagery and colorful examples to help communicate the job’s complexities and the feelings they can generate that are sometimes hard to put into words
  • A non-threatening way for the partner of the stay-at-home parent to examine how their words and actions might be contributing to a loss of self worth and identity
  • Ideas for small, manageable changes that can have a big impact on the relationship, and how the stay-at-home parent feels about themselves and their job
  • A simple terminology that both partners can use to help get their love affair back on track and keep it that way

What Happened to the Girl I Married? is an honest and enlightening love story that’s funny and thought-provoking throughout. The story’s messages help heal old wounds and offer both partners a language to get back on a loving path together – and stay on it.

Read along with us: Buy your copy of the book today and get ready to discuss with us on Friday, July 17th. See you at book club!

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

Boys Will Be Boys?

Cheating Am I the only one who's tired of hearing about politicians catting around on their wives?  Seriously sick. of. it.  I've gone through this enough in real life with girlfriends whose husbands just can't keep it in their pants, and break up entire families chasing after some skirt who ends up leaving him 6 months down the road. 
I feel like every time I listen to NPR I hear another governor resign from his post due to a sordid affair with a {fill in the blank here} nanny, intern, neighbor, fellow politician.  I know it didn't start with President Clinton, and it certainly won't stop with Senator Edwards, but isn't there a line in the sand somewhere?  Maybe this is the feminist in me but I can't help thinking that if Nancy Pelosi pulled something even half as repulsive as these cheating jerks, she'd be thrown out on her tail, no questions asked. 

Continue reading "Boys Will Be Boys? " »

July 09, 2009

What Can You Do?

J0427595 It's all over the news, death.  Celebrities, soldiers, civilians, grandparents, parents, children, no one is immune.  It happens.

Death is hard.  We don't understand it.  We don't understand why some people die while others live.  We don't understand why some children are left to bury their parents when they are young and some parents are left to bury their children.  It seems that no matter the age of the person who died, people will grieve. 

I have a good friend who has lost a child.  After the death of her daughter, her husband said that it was harder losing his Mother when he was 11 than it was to lose his daughter.  I have a hard time imagining that as I have also had a child die.  But everyone handles grief differently.  It effects everyone differently.  And we really don't know what to do or say when someone has a loved one die.

Because I have been stumbling along the broken path of a parent who has lost a child for almost 6 years now, I will share with you some of the things I have learned.  While my experiences are those of a Mother losing her child, they really do apply to anyone who is grieving.

Continue reading "What Can You Do?" »

July 08, 2009

A Boulder Valley School District Open Enrollment Tale

BVSD_Denise Over six years ago when my husband and I purchased our house, we saw it as a short term investment in our future. We bought within our means, not above our means even though ARM and interest only mortgages were the norm. We also knew it was a starter home, I imagined moving within five years. The thought of our neighborhood school being one of the lowest performing in our school district weighed heavily in the back of my mind. We brushed it off as we won't be living here when our children are in Kindergarten (at the time we weren't trying to get pregnant). 

Two months after closing on our house, I was pregnant. 

Continue reading "A Boulder Valley School District Open Enrollment Tale" »

July 07, 2009

Is it time for The Talk?

Fish kiss Crack investigators that they are, my children don’t wait until I am ready before they fire off their questions.  And it’s always before I’ve poured my first cup of coffee.  If I had time to prepare, my answers would be well constructed and age appropriate.  I wouldn’t resort to euphemisms.  Political and ethical land minds would be dodged with ease.

On Monday, we tackled gay marriage, a topic I handled deftly, redirecting and answering all at the same time.  Marry anyone you like as long as they are not already related to you, I told my daughters.  Your mission, I explained, is to go out and find new people to add to our family.  Dad may be cool, but he’s already ours, so keep looking.

On Tuesday morning the topic introduced circa seven in the morning was periods.  My eight year-old heard a wrapper crinkling and was hot on my trail--

Continue reading "Is it time for The Talk?" »

July 03, 2009

Ultrasounds, x-rays and enemas ... oh my!


Xray I grew up hearing how as, a Mom, there's nothing you want more than to take away your child's pain.  I now know what that really means.

It's the night before we were supposed to drive back to Denver and our son starts getting fussy and soon moves into inconsolable.  Our kiddo gives us bedtime kisses and happily sleeps for eleven hours at night.  This kiddo was waking every 2.5 hours screaming.  There were intermittent moments of calm, but mostly crying and screaming.

We go down the checklist:
* diaper
* gas
* hunger
* thirst
* a hair wrapped around something it shouldn't 
* teething

When all of those were met with satisfactory results, we drove around for an hour.  Damn!  He's still awake.  We drove around for another hour.  Sleep.  Ahhh ... 

Two hours later, screaming.  

Continue reading "Ultrasounds, x-rays and enemas ... oh my!" »

July 02, 2009

Looking for work: Why does it feel like I'm dating again?

Dating I've been a freelance writer for 17 years, and during that time, I was lucky enough to have a big corporate client who never stopped sending work my way. I cranked out copy furiously, day after day, week after week, month and month, never worrying about where the next job would come from. But then the economy collapsed -- and my gravy train derailed. Now after a long job search, I've finally found work again. As I think about the experience of ending one long-time client relationship and building a couple of new ones, I'm struck by how much the whole thing felt like Dating 2.0. Here's how it all went down.

The beginning of the end. Nothing was really wrong with our relationship, but things weren't right either. The phone didn't ring. The emails dwindled. And on those rare occasions when I'd hear from him, he had very little to say. Then, when I tried to pin him down about the future, he was evasive.

Dumped. On that fateful day when he severed our relationship, he used those infamous words. "It's not you. It's me. I'm the one with the problem. You're great. I'd love to stay with you forever, but I just can't commit to you or anyone else right now."

Depressed. Cut loose from a long relationship, I did what any normal girl would do. Put on my yoga pants. Lost myself in Jerry Springer. Ate bowl after bowl of cold macaroni and cheese.

Continue reading "Looking for work: Why does it feel like I'm dating again?" »

July 01, 2009

Some words are just too long to say

Question mark person Ok guys, get your shoes on and head out to the car!

The v or the hi?

Huh?

The v or the hi?

Dude, it's 7:30 in the morning and the caffeine hasn't hit yet. What are you talking about?

The van or the hybrid?

<Good grief.> The van. Just like every other morning. The van.

Continue reading "Some words are just too long to say" »

June 30, 2009

Small Town Celebration

J0440265 Our small town began its annual Fourth of July celebration today, kicking off a week-long celebration with a pancake breakfast in the park.  My co-workers and I walked over this morning and had breakfast while The Boss stayed at the office to answer phones; we do it every year, and then spend the rest of the morning complaining about how full we are, how sleepy we are as we slip into the wonderful, carb-induced coma which comes from pancakes and hash-browns. 

This is my town at its finest, though.  The Kiwanis Club members frying sausage in their little green aprons while in the background someone is singing a terrible rendition of "God Bless America."  At 10:00, the Catholic church will send into the air the beginnings of tamale-scented steam, while right next door the Methodist Boost begins to shuck hundreds of ears of corn to boil and slather with butter.  At lunchtime, there will be throngs of people flocking to the square to eat lunch and buy raffle tickets for different things,  children screaming aloud with pleasure and with pain, and always, always, the scent of popcorn and cotton candy and sweat.  A little slice of America right smack dab in the middle of our podunk Idaho town.

Continue reading "Small Town Celebration " »

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