To Find Out or Not to Find Out: What Gender Will Our Baby Be?

Lately, there are only two questions people ask of me. And they’re not “how are you?”  and “what’s up?”

Nope. They’re “how far along are you?” (Usually followed by “when are you due?” so much so that I’ve avoided part 2 by giving a quick completed answer to the first question: “19weeksdueinAugust”) and “Are you finding out?”

Each time, I’m hard-pressed to stifle a smart-ass response:
• No, we figure we’ll determine parenthood once we see the hair color first.
• You know, I’m still only in the C’s of burger joints. I'm currently stuck at Cheeburger Cheeburger with all of their burger choices.
• No, still talking with the rabbi and the preacher.
 
And if they ask the alternate question, “do you know what it is?” I’ve prepared a few more replies:

• Looks like a turtle to me, but I don’t come to the zoo often.
• Well, I’m not a professional, but it looks like a classic bob to me.
• I think it’s a daffodil, but the budding colors make me think it could be a tulip.

In truth, I don’t know what it is and I don’t know if we’re finding out. We have 5 days to decide. D-day is nearly upon us and we still don’t know if we’re going to check for the legendary p-p. We didn’t know with the first two. Well, we didn’t officially know.

With our first the technician referred to it has a “him” throughout the process. When I called her on it, I said to my husband, “Ummm… hon, is she saying 'he' the whole time for a reason?” The tech quickly responded that she calls all the babes “he.” Yeah. Whatever.

So when it came time for number 2, we were even more adamant; announcing, before even climbing up on the bed that under no circumstances did we want to “know.” And wouldn’t you know within 5 minutes we were staring at it.  When I questioned this tech, the terrible actress seriously started shaking and replied, “oh… that’s right! You didn’t want to know… let me move the screen for a minute.”

So while we’ve never had official confirmation, I figure at 35 years, I have a pretty good idea what a penis looks like and my husband sure better.

And here we are. Nearly attending our 20 week ultrasound without a decision.

Logistically, “finding out” makes sense. We can start shopping. We can start planning. We can argue over one name, not two. And should it be a boy, our first son will have time to get over the fact that he’ll never have a sister. Meanwhile, if it’s a girl, the second son will have ample opportunities to toss tantrums and blow a few steam engines because he doesn’t get the little brother he’s been dreaming of.

But is it worth knowing? Will I miss the sweetness, the excitement, the thrill of suspense? Sure, BTDTs have told me you still have all that. You have the sweetness of a new baby in your arms. You have the excitement of a birth (and what’s not exciting about that?) and you have the suspense of finding out how the baby will look. 

It seems I created another question for myself, one keeping me up at night that I’ll need to answer before I climb up on that bed at Paoli Hospital next week: What’s more important at age 35 when expecting a third baby: logic or thrill?

Original Philly Moms Blog Post.

Julie Pron is a mom of 2.6 children who runds after them most of the day. She lists her other endeavors at juliepron.blogspot.com.