then some lies are strictly for my own selfish motives. Like when we
took their piggy banks to the coin counting machine, and I stealthily
pocketed $144 while handing each of them a dollar bill. Or the way I
have convinced them that the Naked Green Juice at Starbucks, when
poured into a coffee cup, is indeed coffee.
Starbucks ruse has worked out pretty well for me so far. I'm not a
Starbucks freak, but a few times I month I like to go sit in a comfy
chair, sip a sweet drink, and listen to a soundtrack of Joni Mitchell
wannabes. And if I split the Green Juice into small coffee cups, my kids
will sit quietly for a while, too, feeling important with their grown-up
"coffee" in a cup like mine. And their drink is under $3 and
actually pretty nutritious.
This all came
crashing down yesterday, when my oldest ran ahead of me as we walked in the
door of the local Starbucks. Before I could make it to the counter and give the barista a pleading, "help-me-out-dude" look, Jafta
was there handing the guy a jug of Green Juice and calling it coffee.
not coffee, son. Would you like a hot chocolate?"
Listen, you glib 20-something hipster. Not only have you ruined my lie,
but now my son knows a piping hot sugary chocolate drink is available to
him here? Things will never be the same.
So my Starbucks break was
spent coaching Jafta to slow down on the hot chocolate lest he burn his
tongue, and trying to shush him as he gleefully shouted to his sister,
"that's not really coffee! that's not really coffee!"
nothing, Starbucks guy.
Original Orange County Moms Blog post. Kristen drinks a skinny latte with extra foam, and blogs at Rage Against the Minivan.