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I'm Never Going to Stop Becoming

Butterfly I was delighted this year that, even at 11 years old, my youngest son still wanted to buy a caterpillar from the conservatory in our city to house as it transformed into a butterfly.

I was even more delighted that the caterpillar survived being in the little plastic vial it came in, entered its chrysalis stage and then emerged as a gorgeous painted lady butterfly.

There's something moving and inspiring to me about watching this metamorphosis and becoming-- it never gets old.

It makes me think about human metamorphosis and becoming.

I remember when I was a little girl and, with my friends, dreamed with my about what I would become when I grew up. For me, there were many aspirations-- singer, actor, politician, political activist, academic...

And then I grew up and I also became a mom.

At a certain point, my focus was less on wondering and dreaming about what I will become and more on just keeping up with my kids, my relationship with my husband, home chores, homeschooling, writing and so on.

Intrigue about what my sons will be when they grow up fills my mind from time to time. Will my oldest son stick with computer programming and game development and my youngest son continue with his comics and art?

These are fun (and, at times, worrisome) questions to consider.

There's certainly nothing wrong with being curious about and supporting your kids are they go through the metamorphosing that they do.

Problems arise, however, when a parent-- or any adult-- falls into the trap of thinking that he or she is done becoming.

It's too easy to start to see yourself as “done,” “all grown up,” “settled.” From that place, many of us are lulled into thinking that we've learned all that we can learn; we are where we are.

Where we are may even feel like a stuck, cramped and, at times, hellish place.

Stability is all well and good, but the dark underbelly of stability is stagnation. When a person assumes that he or she is “done,” there's pretty much no where else to go but down. It's no wonder many people expect their bodies, minds, relationships and lives to fall apart and decline over the years.

Their experience almost always matches that expectation.

Instead, what if we re-think the whole notion of becoming as something that never stops? What if we each made a pact with ourselves to always stay open to change and metamorphosis?

What if we each could encounter-- in new and different ways-- that thrill of spreading our wings for the first time and taking flight?

I am re-focusing my attention back to my own becoming a little bit more than before. I actually think that this is a wonderful example for my sons too!

What could be better than my sons seeing up close and in real life that I am more than “just a mom” as I try new things, learn and grow? And, what could be better than my sons seeing that being a mom is far more than what they might think?

I plan to leave the door to becoming wide open and follow it wherever it leads.

Amy Phillips-Gary is a personal growth coach who specializes in helping women learn to accept and love their bodies and themselves more fully. She writes for various internet websites, including Personal Growth Planet. You can read her weekly blog at Personal Growth Planet Blog.