NYC Moms

Vietnam – our kids don’t know how good they have it.

We just got back from a whirlwind trip to Asia. Why does it seem whenever you leave a place it ends up all over the news? Unfortunately with the Earthquake in China and the Cyclone in Myanmar (Burma) it’s all very sad news. Vietnam was rough travel, sleeping on planes, trains and boats. And even though it wasn’t a “comfortable” vacation, the big takeaway is how comfortably WE live.

It was the children that got me.

As a mom I guess this isn’t surprising. The babies carrying babies on their backs. The kid’s in rural villages without shoes or even pants. And the kids that beg for food are heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine what its like now after all the recent disaster. My heart goes out to them. The kids in the big modern cities like Hong Kong aren’t spared either since they have to inhale constant smog. Someone told me that breathing the air in Beijing is like smoking 27 cigarettes a day. This is of course why everyone looks like a bandit on a moped. Next time I think we’ll try taking the kids. Though the jet lag is brutal. It’s hard to explain to my girls that they wouldn’t be allowed to go to school in certain Vietnamese tribes. Only the boys are allowed to leave the house. The girls are considered manual labor, tending the fields, cooking and cleaning. And when they marry, our tour guide said in her tribe the average age is 16, they have to live with their husband’s family basically as a housekeeper and cook.

Our guide, A sweet girl named Mai Lyn, got to the ripe old age of 19 before she married. But she’s got the advantage of having a job and income, so if she donates to the in-law’s coffers she’s off the housekeeping hook. She never went to school but taught herself English via giving hiking tours. She has a slight Australian tweak, as that’s where most of her patrons come from… which makes her voice so sweet. 

I'll take the good with the bad. Emerson has Strabismus, but vision issues in young children can usually be fixed if caught early.

I don't take pictures of my little boy when he’s “patched.” Maybe it’s because if I document it… then I’ll really have to admit he has a problem. Or maybe it’s just that he looks sad and I don’t want to remember how he squirms and cries when I put it on. Or maybe it’s that the eyes are the window to the soul and with one eye covered, I can’t really see his “wholeness.”

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My little boy has strabismus in both eyes. In layman’s terms this basically means if his condition is not fixed he will have a permanent "lazy eye" in BOTH eyes. It was very hard to detect… but whenever I was in the car and looked back at him in his car seat… I could see his eyes just didn’t look like they were in “sync.” One eye would be looking slightly to the side… he’d blink… then the eye would Pop back parallel with the other. My mother didn’t even notice it. And she notices everything! Initially when I brought it up to his pediatrician they “poopooed” me and said he’s fine. I took it upon myself to bring him to the pediatric eye specialist when Emerson was 12 months old. They detected the wandering eye (strabismus) in his left eye initially, a few months later they saw it in his right. Then of course my pediatrician tried to backtrack. I’m not blaming him... but my big conclusion is always trust your instincts.

He has a very wide nose bridge which masks the wandering. After hearing a lecture on eye health at a recent blogging event… my big takeaway is that even if you DON'T see a problem you should take your

My kids gave me Strep throat. Now the house is a mess.

Guess what my kids gave me...? Unfortunately NOT some fabulous popsicle stick art. They brought home strep throat. I hate to complain, its just when mom is sick… everything else goes. The house is a mess… there are clothes everywhere… dirty dishes piling up and dog hairs on every surface.  It's probably my own fault since I should give my kids more chores. I've been meaning to make a CHORE corkboard for years.  My 2 yr old won’t go to bed unless I put him to bed. And why can’t my husband just order pizza for dinner? Lets face it, moms can never get sick!

Back on subject... I’m not sure which kid gave it to me. And the interesting thing is both my school-age girls do NOT have it. However both of them brought home one of those dreaded notes that say it’s going around their class. So it is possible to pass the streptococcal (strep) bacteria to someone else via your hands and body without actually contracting the illness. I had no idea! Did I mentioned my throat hurts...? Man, this isn’t your garden variety sore throat. This is throbbing, great big globs of lovely white stuff back there… you can barely swallow type sore throat. Your glands are so swollen you can’t turn your neck.

So I went to the Doctor for a culture… and yep… it’s strep. Now I have to be careful not to give it to my kids or husband and start a vicious cycle. I am totally not a germa-phobe but when I was at CVS for my z-pac,

Stand by your man … AS IF! Even Tammy Wynette would back off.

What’s more disgusting than a lyin’ no good, cheatin, hypocritical, political man? Their wives that stand by looking dumbfounded as their unfaithful husbands apologize to the public. Do these women have no pride?  We’ve seen the scene many times before. Eliot Spitzer’s wife joins a long list of deer in the headlight ladies. It’s like a scratched DVD, the same scene plays over and over again with different faces.  Why must Silda Spitzer stand there in her pristine suit as he gives the cameras a whopping 60 second of his time? He slept with prostitutes as old as your daughters for the past year! And you stand there like its no big deal? What exactly is the message of “standing by your man.” Well, for me it means you support your husband even though his actions are grotesque. Spitzer got tripped up in the laws he created to bust prostitution rings. The Irony is FIERCE! (as my project runway hero Christian would say)

Dear haters of Hillary Rodham Clinton… please give her a chance.

Dear Haters Of Hillary Rodham Clinton: Please give her a chance. Please take another look and help her succeed.

Why all the hatred? Why all the disgust? Why all the bashing?

I want to show my girls that a powerful woman can be liked. Not just liked, but admired for being smart and strong. When I tell my girls that they can do anything they set their minds to … I want Hillary to be the illustration of why that cliché is not just an empty statement. My oldest daughter started taking Tae Kwon Do lessons at the age of 5 ... by 9 she was a black-belt. She told me from the start "I want a black belt just like Master Oh"… and she did it! She is smart and strong and can pretty much kick my ^@($@ if she wanted to. She has won many trophies at Tae Kwon Do Tournaments. Some of the prizes I have to admit were given to her by default. Meaning there were no other girls to compete with her in her belt class.

Working from home is not all it's cracked up to be... or is it?

Have you ever had a conference call in a bathroom? Or hid yourself in the closet while talking to a VIP client? Have you made funky throat noises to mask a toddler’s whining?  You must be a mom who works from home. I actually find working from the office easier. Oooohhhhh the sacrilege, dare to admit the office is more pleasant.  With technology nowadays not only can I email or call anyone anytime. But I can access my office PC remotely via software called CITRIX. I also have a Blackberry. That hideous device that thrusts the office across all boundaries. I dropped it the other day, my fumbling thumbs lost their grip on the train. Now my "Pearl" has a crack, so I officially have a"Crack-berry." I understand the need to work remotely but why do moms want to work from home so badly? Working mom’s have enough to juggle, why combine cranky kids and cranky clients! Is it some sort of hideous feeling of guilt? If I have the ability I should stay at home right?  This is the ultimate mommy dream right? The ultimate balance? I’m not so sure! Where do the lines exist? Should the yoghurt drip on the office threshold?  Why don't I ever hear of dad's working from home?

Learning from Dutch Mothers

I just spent 2 weeks in the Netherlands and I am always amazed at the control Dutch mother’s have over their lives and of motherhood in general. It all starts at birth. A good friend of mine had all 4 of her babies at home. The last one she claimed only caused her 15 minutes of pain. All four of them were born using mid-wives, no epidural, no drugs, no nothing.  After each birth, mom took a shower in her own bathroom … got into her own bed and slept. Historically the Dutch have relished the idea of having their babies at home. It is only about 50/50 now with more women heading for the hospital. But this is also due to the fact that more moms are older and in need of fertility treatments.

Christmas is coming, hide the presents!

We have a duel citizenship marriage. I am an American “Muttly Mutt” and my Husband is Dutch. We celebrate Christmas early with my parents in NJ, because we leave for the Netherlands shortly thereafter to celebrate the real deal with my husband’s parents. I’ve tried to argue, but can’t compete when he says “you get the whole year in the United States with your family, all I ask is for 2 weeks in my home country.” So off we go.

Before I stray, I need to mention that my girl’s school has a “Holiday Boutique.” The beauty of this is they make a list of people to buy gifts for in advance. I provide a nominal amount of money, and the girls get to pick out their own presents. The girls get to learn about “making change” and some of the proceeds go to school programs. My kids go to public school, so any extra cash for the school is much appreciated. The girls (9 and 6) came home bursting with pride last Thursday, presents in hand running towards the tree to lay them under. The kids can rarely resist telling you what they bought. This Saturday we celebrated the “early x-mas” with my family. About an hour before we sat down for dinner. (My mother is Polish so we painstakingly made Pierogi’s from scratch!) I suddenly noticed how quiet it was. You know the feeling, that nagging tingle in your spine that the girls got into my make-up AGAIN , or my toddler poured the