NYC Moms

Different Styles for Different Kids

My first baby had a terrible case of colic.  He cried almost 24 hours a day for the first seven months of his life.  The only things that seemed to make a difference were holding him as much as possible, nursing, and his swing (and in the end finding the right reflux medicine).  It was the craziest parent boot camp ever.  I had, of course, heard all of my life that having a new baby was hard, but Jack truly surprised me with the level of parenting he required.  I am sure some of it was just being a first time parent, but he really was a "high needs baby." 

Two years later, our second baby has arrived and it's an entirely different experience.  Madeline pretty much never cries unless she really needs something.  She is content to hang around us and soak up the world.  This doesn't mean she sleeps through the night and never has a bubble in her tummy that is hard to get out, but it does mean that when I lay her down for a few minutes in her bassinet that she waves her arms around and watches her mobile.  My son's mobile never got more than a few minutes of use and I gave it away early on as one of those pieces of baby junk that you never use (much like baby bath robes).

Is Interfaith Really So Bad?

We are an interfaith family; I was raised Lutheran and my husband is Jewish.  I know religion is supposed to be one of the biggest hot button issues in a marriage, but so far so good: no knock down drag out fights for us!  I got to thinking about this potential battle with Passover this weekend and reading an article called The God Question in Time Out Kids.  In the article, all the clergy (no matter the type) agree that you have to pick a path for your kids - apparently not making a choice is "modeling indecision."  Humph.... 

I Dread Bedtime

Five weeks ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  She is our second baby and in many ways, we knew what we were in for this time around.  I spent the weeks before her birth getting as prepared as possible.  I stocked up on toilet paper (aka non-perishable necessities), pulled together all our baby gear and thought that I got myself mentally prepared.  BUT...nothing could have prepared me for the sleep deprivation. 

I have come to truly dread bedtime.  By the time 7pm roles around, my toddler is out of the bath and ready to read books.  This used to signal the beginning of a calm evening at home for my husband and I.  Now, it's just the beginning of a long night.  Our new baby girl is just getting revved up.  While my husband goes up to read books and settle our son, I nurse Madeline and get her dressed for bed.  However, this doesn't mean she is going to fall asleep.  For some reason, she gets a second wind about this time and spends the next hour with her eyes wide open.  Luckily she's a pretty content baby, but I am really ready to veg out on the couch - not pace our living room, bouncing her gently while humming for the next hour in the vain hope that she will begin a four hour sleep stretch.

Failing at Bedrest

Just a little over two weeks ago, I went into preterm labor and spent a few days in my NYC hospital while they got the contractions stopped.  It had happened to two other mommy friends with toddlers so we weren't totally caught off guard, but it was still pretty major to figure out all the logistics.  The night we went to the hospital, almost everyone we knew was out of town.  We got very lucky and one friend that was actually due with her second baby at any second let us drop off Jack and he managed to pretty much sleep through the night there.  When I got out of the hospital, the doctor said I needed to take it very easy and not pick up my son.  However, any walking - even just into the kitchen - seemed to set off more contractions.  The doctor changed the orders to bedrest.  AHHHH!!!!  We called out the big guns since my husband needed to go back to work, and my mother in law flew into help.  Saved! 

Am I a Good Mommy?

New York is full of Type A personalities aka workaholics aka over-achievers.  In many cases, this also applies to how we raise our children.  In what was considered a shocking turn of events by my family, friends and co-workers, I made a last minute decision to stay home with our son two years ago.  Up until that day, I poured a huge amount of energy and time into climbing the corporate ladder.  I had big goals to make Vice President in the next few years.  I worked late regularly and believed missing personal obligations because of work commitments was perfectly acceptable.  Then I became a mom and all of the energy I had once poured into my career, I put into raising my child. 

When Jack was born, he had a crazy bad case of colic that was partially induced by a crazy bad case of acid reflux.  He basically cried almost non-stop for the first 5 months of his life.  I read every parenting book, attended birth and childcare classes, and researched colic and acid reflux extensively to find the best ways to help.  I breastfed, despite some big time problems, because I thought it was really important.  When it came time for Jack to eat solid food, I did another mountain of research, bought a stack of baby food cookbooks and made almost every bite that went into his mouth by hand – all organic, of course.  I hauled him to music sign language classes and movement classes to improve his gross motor skills.  I made sure we read at least 6 baby board books a day.  Absolutely no television until the age of two!  In short, I tried my very, very best to be what I thought was the perfect mother.

In the most recent issue of New York Magazine, Ayelet Waldman discusses the phenomenon of the Bad Mommy Brigade in today’s society: how we all love to jump all over the celebrity bad mommies just to prove to ourselves that we aren’t as terrible as they are. 

An open letter to the airlines and airports of the world

Some of you know from an earlier post that I have come to dread traveling with my son. I was all doom and gloom just a month ago about the possible perils of air travel and a toddler. Well…I was right. Our trip this Christmas fulfilled all of my expectations. I told you so!!!! Basically anything that could go wrong did.

We had a Friday night flight out of LaGuardia on December 21 at 7:30pm. Despite all my careful planning, I neglected to arrange for a car service before the morning of our trip. I naively called our first choice car service with car seats and they were of course booked solid. Then I called a cool new service that caters to parents and airport trips with car seats and videos – and they were booked solid. Then I started combing the internet for any car service that might have car seats and some availability. I finally found one and was able to get a time that allowed us plenty of cushion. And they arrived over an hour late after multiple pleading phone calls. Which turned out to be okay since our flight was delayed – and delayed – and delayed again. We finally took off around 9:30pm.

My Breastfeeding Saga

When I got pregnant with my son Jack, I thought I would give breastfeeding a shot but wasn’t going to stress about it. Then I took a class on breastfeeding when I took my birth classes and got a little more serious about giving. Then I had my son and had just about every problem in the book. Everyone had told me that if I was doing it right, it shouldn’t hurt at all. Well, it hurt like crazy!! After 22 hours of labor and three hours of pushing that ended in a c-section, the most painful part of having a baby was breastfeeding for me. Every nurse I asked said I looked like I had a great latch. I saw the lactation consultant in the hospital, and she told me I had a great latch. I had a lactation consultant come to my home, and she said the latch looked fine. What the hell???

My redhead temper kicked in, and I became super stubborn. I wasn’t going to give up – I was going to figure this out! Did I mention that my son had a terrible case of colic aka acid reflux and cried all the time? I was in pain from the c-section, I got almost no sleep because Jack cried nearly every minute of a 24 hour day and nursing caused me so much pain that I cried every time he latched on – but I didn’t give up. I think it might have been the hormones, but I dug my heels in and insisted we not give a drop of formula. I ended up pumping exclusively and bottle feeding. In some ways, this was good – it really got my milk supply up. My “extras” took up nearly half our freezer. But even more problems popped up. We started with a pretty bad case of thrush. Then I got mastitis. Then I got mastitis again. Turns out that pumping for me wasn’t emptying my ducts well enough.

Announcing The Launch Of The NEW YORK CITY MOMS BLOG

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The time has finally arrived.....We are thrilled to officially announce the launch of the New York City Moms Blog!

New York City Moms Blog is a collaborative group of women living or working in New York City.  They wrestle strollers down subway stairs and struggle with taxi cabs on every corner.  But whether they’re parenting without backyards, extra storage space or carpools, or enjoying their recent escapes to the suburbs in spite of their horrific commutes, these moms are living proof that "the city never sleeps".

To visit New York City Moms Blog, go to http://www.nycmomsblog.com.  To meet the incredible (All right, we really mean incredible, talented, savvy, sophisticated and oh-so-interesting) NYC Moms, visit their "About Us" section, here.

The New York City Moms Blog is the newest sister site to Silicon Valley Moms Blog (launched April 2006), Chicago Moms Blog (launched May 2007) and DC Metro Moms Blog (launched September 2007).  The four sister sites now have over one hundred proud Mommy Bloggers talking about the experience of parenting and the issues that push moms' buttons.  We are delighted and honored to welcome these New York City Moms to our community of bloggers and hope you visit them today!

For questions or inqueries about the NYC Moms Blog, please contact us at: info at nycmomsblog dot com

Our Second ER Visit

We had our second ever trip to the ER with Jack last week, and this one really knocked me for a loop. Let me start at the beginning: when Jack was born, we didn’t have him circumcised. We were going to…with a bris no less. The party was planned, the guests were invited and the food ordered. Then the pediatrician told me it was going to look a little bit like ground hamburger, and I freaked out. Mind you, this is all taking place less than a week after Jack was born so hormones and stress levels were running super high, and I was prone to crying fits nearly every day. Finally on the day before the big event, I talked to my husband and said I just couldn’t do it. He said it was fine with him and told his parents. Luckily, I have the most amazing in-laws in the world, and they took the news very well and canceled the ceremony with much grace and charm.

Over the 20 months since Jack was born, I have had twinges of regret. I wondered if I had made a mistake. Would Jack someday down the road be mad at me for making this choice for him? Should I have just sucked it up? Had I been selfish in not wanting my son to experience this bit of pain? I certainly don’t want to touch off a political debate about the pros and cons of circumcision. I just wanted to make the best choice possible for my son.

Traveling with a Toddler

In the pre-baby days, just thinking about travel would have sent shivers of delight down my spine.  Now I feel just a little bit nauseous as I pull out the suitcases to pack. My husband, son and I are traveling for both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year – and for the Christmas trip, I will just be entering in to my third trimester.  I keep asking myself what I was thinking planning huge trips across the country as I grow bigger with each passing day.

I always start every trip by making a list of everything we could possibly need.  On Jack’s first trip at two months of age, the list filled an entire page single spaced with two columns.  I have whittled it down as we have become more experienced travelers and he has gotten older, but packing still feels like a huge project.  By now, we have encouraged each set of grandparents to collect some basic baby gear including a crib, highchair and car seat, but somehow we always end up going over the weight limit on our luggage.

Here’s what I consider the basic list for a 20 month old toddler: clothes, jacket, pajamas, diapers, wipes, pacifiers, blankets  x2, sippy cups, suction cup bowl, bibs, spoons & forks, small selection of toys & books, monitors, Tylenol & Benadryl, diaper cream, anti-itch cream, and assorted snacks.  I could probably purchase some of this upon landing, but I figure since they are small and don’t take up too much room, I might as well haul them along just in case the need for Tylenol arises at 2am on the night we land.