Whatever Happened to the Awkward Stage?

I recently pulled out my old photo albums from my youth and it made my stomach turn a bit. Perusing those class pictures from the 70's brings me back to all of the hideousness that went with my middle school (or actually it was called junior high school for back then).  My hair was in a middle part, attempting that cool Farrah "feathered back look" but falling way short because my mom decided that my hair should be cut in a shag which couldn't have been a more horrible choice for my thick wavy hair. I had braces, a bump in my nose and wore humongous sweatshirts to cover whatever budding figure puberty was bring my way.

Things are different though for my 15 year old daughter and her friends.  There is nary a bad haircut or bad outfit between them.  Why do these girls look like they walked out of the pages of Teen Vogue, while my friends and I looked like the "before" pictures on an episode of "Extreme Makeover"...?

It couldn't possibly be genetics...I think the answer lies somewhere in between Teen Vogue and MTV's "My Super Sweet Sixteen".  Girls today are exposed to so much more that we ever were, and are much more conscious of what "fixes" are available to them.  I had my first manicure and professional eyebrow waxing the day before my wedding...I was 25.  My daughter (mea culpa) was taken to the manicurist for "fun" at age 5 before her first day of kindergarten and had her eyebrows waxed before her Bat Mitzvah at age 13.

Teen age girls today are truly grooming like little adults.  At my hair salon girls beginning at 12 or 13 are getting highlights, Brazilian straightening treatments and hair cuts from "top" stylists charging north of $150.  The girls are shopping at the same stores as their moms, and dressing as stylishly too.

When my friends and I went to Bat Mitzvahs in the 70's we wore Gunne Sax dresses (just as they sound...baggy sack dresses, down to our ankles) with platform sandals. Girls today at the Bat/Bar Mitzvahs have wardrobes that rival many adults.  The girls often wear mini-dresses:  the tighter and shorter the better with high heels.  These are 7th graders!

So is the teen awkwardness there beneath the glamor?  Well, without the dermatologists, hair stylists and waxing professionals these girls would look just like we did.  There hasn't been an invention yet to replace braces (although many parents do get the braces removed for the Bat Mitzvah...guilty!).

Is there a positive to this?  One that I can think of.  These girls are growing up much more self-confident than I did.  Yes, they are sometimes self-conscious, but that goes with the territory of being a teen.  More importantly though, they generally feel better about themselves and are able (with the support and help of their parents) fix the things that plagued and embarrassed my friends and I as teens.  You won't catch an 8th grader with a "unibrow" these days, but back in my day there were plenty and boy did those kids get teased.  So although the grooming can be over-the-top, I think it can help girls feel better about themselves, and when girls feel better they raise their hands more in school and make good decisions.

I have definitely fed into the grooming trend with my daughter, but only when she has asked.  Being a teenager is hard, and parenting one is even harder. I am trying to make the "right" decisions, but who knows if it will be right in the end.  It doesn't feel right getting a child larger breasts for their 18th birthday (yes, I did see that on one of the daytime talk shows), but a professional eye breeze tweeze seems okay to me right now.

This is an original post to New York City Moms Blog.