What's Age Got to do with it? A lot!

When I got married at the ripe old age of 25 to a man 15 years older than me I had absolutely no reservations; even when my mother called him up, right after our engagement, in a fit of rage accusing him of being a svengali, and implored me to move out of the apartment we shared, and back home. Sure she ruffled our proverbial feathers but her anger seemed to have the reverse impact she'd hoped for- instead of it pitting us against one another we vowed to make our relationship solid and forever.

I had always dated men that were older than me for the obvious reasons; maturity, security, and yes excitement. At 22 it was exciting to be whisked away to an expensive weekend get-a-way that I would never have been able to afford on my meager editorial assistant job at a trade magazine, or to go out for a decadent French dinner- instead of Big Nick's for a hamburger. But of course it was much more than that; with older guys I felt ensconced in blanket of security, that unlike a 22-year-old collegian peering over my shoulder looking for next, better looking blond with bigger boobs to walk into the bar, the guy I was with, was really with me. He was ready to settle down, especially since he'd spent a solid number of years enjoying being single and commitment-free. And of course being the much younger counterpart in these relationships imbued me with a bit of power- that magical evanescence of youth--which every man and woman is forever trying to bottle and ultimately recapture.

Now that it's almost 10 years later-and I am no longer the young 25-year-old my husband married and more like the almost 35 year-old mother of two, who is still trying to lose the baby weight from baby number two who was born three and half years ago(that's my excuse and gosh darn it I am sticking to it!) my 50-year-old husband has not traded me in for a younger model.

But after writing an article for Single Minded Women about Cougars--otherwise known as older successful, confident women over forty who date younger men, I began to feel slightly wistful about not having dated younger guys when I had the opportunity to do so. Unfortunately I don't think I'm cut-out to be a cougar- although ask me about it fifteen years from now and who knows what my answer will be.

Sure hindsight is always 20/20, but whenever I meet a couple who were high school sweethearts that married  eachother I feel a little green with envy; that unlike them, I can't share those same generational references and experiences with my husband. My husband will never feel the same surge of energy when her hears Pearl Jam's Jeremy, like I do, he refuses to give any contemporary television comedies a fair shot- since "none can ever possibly measure up to the genius of Seinfeld", yeah...whatever! And on a Saturday night he is more likely than not ready for bed at 9 pm. I also wish I would've shared a lot of my firsts, with him, although when I was 15 he was already 30-- and that is VERY CREEPY!

But the age gap isn't all that bad. As a father he was completely and utterly ready to throw himself into the role with every fiber of his being and I couldn't possibly imagine my kids having a more hands-on dad than him. And he's slowly beginning to feel comfortable hanging around with other parents who are my age- although I know he still feels a bit uneasy being the oldest person in the room at any given time- unless someone's grandparent happens to be visiting that day!

I don't really have a la te da fairytale ending to this post except that our relationship, like all relationships regardless of age, is a work in progress...

This is an original post to NYC Moms Blog.