"Mommy, You're Hurting Me"

I have a shy kid.

This week, I took my very reserved daughter to Chelsea Piers for a 4 year-old's gymnastics birthday party.

Upon entering the huge sports complex, she is terrified. She cowers in the corner of the door.

"I don't want to go in," Dylan says, her voice filled with panic.

"Honey, it will be fun. Don't you remember you used to take gymnastics class here? With Joey? Remember?" I enthusiastically remind her.

"No. I don't want to be here."

"Sweetheart. Com'on. Let's go wish Andre a happy birthday and give him his present. If you still want to leave then we'll go. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"No."

I watch other kids from her preschool class, rushing by us, not wanting to miss a minute of the party.

"Dylan, let's go," I plead.

"No."

I don't know what to do. My 17 month-old is becoming unbearably heavy in my arms, and Dylan isn't budging. I finally take Dylan's hand and start walking towards the party room.

"You're hurting me! Stop. Stop. Stop. You're hurting me. Stop hurting me!" my daughter screams through her sobs while she tries to pull away. People are staring. Here I am trying to take my daughter to a birthday party and I feel like a child abuser.

"Dylan, I'm not hurting you. I'm trying to hold your hand. We are going to a birthday party. This will be fun." I'm trying to sound extra energetic and kind. I'm trying to sound like a good mother.

"Mommy, you're hurting me," she continues to wail and tug her hand away.

Finally, mercifully, we arrive at the party.

Dylan sits on my lap for 50 minutes in the toddler gymnastics room while other kids laugh, jump and play. Dylan's baby sister joyfully tumbles and totters around. Dylan pouts and clings to me. I just hold her. I want her to feel my love and my compassion, not my frustration.

With 10 minutes left to play, my 3 1/2 year old's other side finally emerges. She gets up and starts running around. And playing. And giggling. She eats pizza. She consumes cake. She grabs a balloon to take home.

"That was fun," she says as we head out the door. We are holding hands and it is gentle and sweet.

Original NYC Moms Blog Post.

Kelcey Kintner is the creator and editor of the mama bird diaries, a smart, funny and always unpredictable take on motherhood.  She lives with her husband and two daughters in the West Village (aka home of the "Sex and the City" bus tour). Their dog has moved to the suburbs.