I Love A Good Spanx-ing

My parents always told me: you can be anything you want to be.   Sure, I thought, except a football player (wrong gender), a mathematician (wrong skill set), or a fashion model (just plain wrong). I'm not saying that I'm unattractive, but neither am I runway material...unless the runway is in the supermarket and I'm headed down the cheese aisle.

All that changed, however, when my friends from Role Mommy organized a mother-daughter fashion show at Macy's and invited my daughter and me to be in it.  My daughter, whose first word was “shoe,”  was beside herself with excitement. Me? I wasn’t quite as ready to tackle the runway.

I knew my daughter would look pretty. She’s smiley, she’s (naturally) blond, she’s got the little turned up nose I had until puberty robbed it from me. She’s eight. What could be bad? But what about me? Would I look pretty? Well, I wasn’t gonna look like a fashion model, that’s for sure. I mean, how many Jewish, 5’ 7”, frizzy-haired, size ten fashion models do you know? Something had to be done.

So I went to the best source for fashion and beauty advice any girl could have: my hairdresser, Creighton. “Honey,” he told me. “There is not a woman in Hollywood who doesn’t wear Spanx.” I was intrigued. “They’re like plastic surgery: they’re everywhere.”

 Spanx, for the uninitiated, are the latest craze in shapewear for women --- or as they used to be called, girdles. Though these new girdles, he told me, were remarkably comfortable, yet still held you in. I’m not ashamed to admit, I’ve tried various “hold down the fort” underpinnings before, and while many of them worked, it was at a price. Most of them left me gasping for air and covered with angry red gashes. Spanx, Creighton promised me, were different. And once I tried them, I would never go back to regular underwear again.

The Town Shop is a New York institution. A place where saleswomen come into the dressing room, grab your breasts, re-arrange them into your bra, then stand back to assess their handiwork – all before you’ve even undressed. And, oddly, it doesn’t seem odd at all. These ladies have seen it all and felt it all. They’ve lifted a lot of low-hanging loads and battened down a lot of over-sized hatches.   Plus, it's only a block from my apartment.  I headed there.

Spanx, it turns out, are control top pantyhose without the hose. They’re also a $150 million dollar business. And once I put them on, I could see why. Initially, they won me over because I needed a size small. (It may be vanity sizing, but I can live with that.) Then I loved them because instead of just holding in my tummy and neglecting my thunderous thighs, these babies tackled them both, and third, they really were comfortable. But the final test would be the jeans I brought with me – usually, zipping them up required Vaseline and a crowbar. Would Spanx take them from frighteningly tight to totally awesome?

In a word, yes. I bought three pair.

Like many women who’ve had children, my closet is a testament to my enduring optimism: yes, one day I will fit into that dress again. Yes, one day I will be able to zip up that pencil skirt.  (And yes, I’ll still keep the post-pregnancy size twelves in case of emergency.) Spanx in hand – or in pants, as the case may be - I took on the closet. Clingy dresses hung smoothly over my stomach, skinny jeans didn’t strangle my thighs, it was fat-girl nirvana!

 Macy’s runway, look out. 

 The day of the event, I felt great. Spanx gave me the confidence (not to mention the firm behind) no amount of  punishing diet and painful exercise ever could. They held me in, smoothed me out and got me into a size eight. False triumph? Hey, along with Spanx, most movie stars have personal trainers, plastic surgeons, stylists, make-up artists, at-home chefs, brow lifts, Botox, and silicone in places I can’t even imagine. I wasn’t going to quibble over a pair of underwear.

 But as I walked down the runway I couldn’t help but think: all these years, I’ve been obsessing over my body, punishing myself with fad diets, killing myself with exercise regimes, and all I needed, all this time, was a good Spanx-ing.

Original post to NYC Moms Blog.

Nancy Rabinowitz Friedman is a freelance writer living in NYC.

 

 

 

Comments

[Kim/hormone-colored days]

This is hilarious! I've been hearing about Spanx, but I think you finally tipped the scales for me. No, I tipped the scales on my own, but you've motivated me to go buy Spanx.

[Carla]

Although I'm reasonably slender, I have a figure that has needed control garments for some time. My mother has been aggressively recommending girdles to me ever since I was 13 and I often succumbed to her persuasion. They made me happy about the way I looked in a dress, but they also made me happy to wiggle out of them at the end of a long day. I know what you mean about gasping for breath and angry red gashes. I am so glad that Spanx have been invented because a girl with hips like mine simply has to wear a girdle and Spanx allow me to wear a girdle on my own terms, not my mom's. I'm smoothed and shaped (all right, I'm girdled)but I am comfortable and I feel as if I'm in the 21st and not the 20th century. I can even wear them with casual skirts and dresses for an entire day. This is a liberating and wonderful invention for women like you and me. You've celebrated them effectively and accurately. Thanks!

[Marketing Mommy (Alma)]

Did you know Spanx has a budget-friendly line called Assets at Target? Excellent for controlling my post-partum pooch...but I still pull it off the minute I get home!

[Melissa]

I bought myself a pair to put under a formal dress I had to wear to a work function. They changed my life. Seriously.

[Gunfighter]

Brava!

[stephv]

Wow.."pregnancy size 12?" Think I'm gonna cry..

[yasmin]

I've been using Spanx for years! They are great!

[Leticia- Tech Savvy Mama]

I think I am going to have to run out to do some shopping NOW! :)

[Travelingmom]

Spanx rock and they also roll - down. Not sure what size I had on that day at Macy's but I pulled it [them?} up just under my bra and it kept rolling down, which technically would make the midline look LARGER. No matter, all the Spanx in the world would not have helped me in that dress. The whole ordeal was fun and it did get me to the gym, tho!

[fffabulous]

I enjoyed reading this blog entry. Spanx is definitely a girl's best friend and I recommend it to my friends as often as I can. And as my girlfriends pointed out in their comments (http://www.fffabulous.com/2007/10/spanx-it-baby.html), even celebrities use Spanx!

[Amy (svmoms)]

I LOVE Spanx!!! My sister and I went "power panty" shopping right before our little sister's wedding last year, so we wouldn't be the 'fat sisters with kids' propped up in the corner wearing mumus. (I actually had a mumu picked out as backup, though, just in case...Thankfully, didn't need it)

[kathy]

For tummy control I found a product I like even more than Spanx.
Yummie Mummie Tummie
http://www.barenecessities.com/search.asp?search=yummie+tummie&ft=1I

They don't have anything for legs and thighs.

[Jayne S.]

Forget the Spanx. I'm going to the Town Shop to have my hatches battened!