Going Public

Full disclosure:  I teach in a private school.  I have an enormous budget.  I have loads of time off.  It works for my family.  I don't have a masters and I'm not certified to teach in anything but private schools.  But I send my kids to public school.

Here are some of my reasons.

Friends:  All the money in the world doesn't buy you better friends--and I think there are as many issues with friends with too much money as there are friends with none.  My kids have made fabulous pals from all walks of life--and they've learned volumes from their exposure to all of these different families.  In my ten years at one private school on the Upper West Side, there were four different entire grades that made every teacher cringe.  No one could stand the 6th grade one year.  No one could stand them when they were younger, no one could stand them as they got older.  The grade-dynamics never improved.  There's no way the kids in those classes were getting the kind of teaching the kids in other more beloved grades were getting.  And in some cases it's no one's fault.  A teacher flushed with full-body dread is just not going to be teaching at the top of his or her game.  There are adorable bright-eyed well-deserving kids in each of these loathed grades, and my heart aches for them.  I can't imagine spending all that money on a child's education only to watch that child go through the years with such a mean-spirited and despised group of kids.  And that can happen anywhere--whether the kids are in a free school or an expensive one. 

Teachers:  Money doesn't buy you better teachers.  Okay, sometimes it does...but there are tired, grouchy teachers in every school and young energetic teachers in every school.  Plus every grade in every school has the teacher everyone wants, as well as the less desirable teachers--for whatever reasons--brilliance, gender, attitude, accomplishments--real or imagined.  My kids haven't always gotten the teachers I've hoped they'd get but I don't lose any sleep over it.  I'm not paying tuition, I can handle less than perfect.  And honestly because I'm not bundled up in worry about what my money's getting my kid, I'm free to relax and focus on the things that are right about my kids' teachers.  I may not have chosen each of my son's teachers as he's progressed through the years, but I've never had any regrets about who he's had.  I do know that if I'd been shelling out $25K a year I'd be paying some pretty careful attention to what I was getting for my money and what others might be getting for theirs.

Tuition:  From what I've seen the money is only the beginning.  Countless fundraisers, auctions, and extras fill the school year itself--and then there are the $9000 summer camps that all the kids are either going to or, what? you're NOT going to that summer camp?  You're NOT going to Jingle Ball?  You're NOT going away for winter vacation?  You don't have the Tiffany Heart bracelet?  You only have 49 webkinz?  It takes a strong backbone to hold up in the midst of all this moolah.  Of course there are haves and have nots in public school too--families with country houses, families who go on exotic trips, children who bring iPods to school, boast of their ever-updated collection of video games.  There's no immunity from this.  I'd just rather not spend $25,000 a year to enter that world of tricky financial morality, when I can have the smaller version of it, for free.

Family funds:  All of these reasons aside, it's hard to imagine how we would have been able to afford private school for our three children even if we'd aimed for it.  I'm the product of a slew of mediocre public schools and look at me?--I..I..well, never mind.  I'm fine.   The one conversation that my husband and I had before having children to make sure we were on the same page about raising them was about our desire for them to travel.  We didn't discuss number of children, religion, schools, discipline...but we made sure we each agreed that we wanted them to travel as much as possible.  And we do travel--in fact we are some of those 'exotic vacation' public school people I mention before.  I feel like much of my education came from the trips I went on as a child, and my husband and I realized that if we scraped it all together to send them to private schools--if I'd accidentally gone on a tour of one and been seduced by the smell of mahogany (one school's lobby) or chlorine (one school's pool)--because face it, the facilities of private will always trump those of public--and then felt forced to make it happen no matter what, our kids would be left with nothing else but the local playground for all of their vacation time.  No camps, no travel.  And how depressing would that be?

We were lucky to get our children into a really great progressive public school.  We couldn't be happier.  There are people who will find that private's best for them.  There are people who feel their children need more than what public has to offer.  I understand completely.  I just thought I'd take this opportunity to put some of my own personal reasons on paper.  And now I'm going to go sleep soundly like I always do.

An original post for New York City Moms Blog.