Parenting - not just a job, it's a responsibility

Okay - I have officially had it!  Just read a bit about a little girl--six-years-old--who won four tickets to a sold-out Hannah Montana concert by writing an essay that began with the line: "My daddy died this year in Iraq."  Turns out her father isn't even in the military.  Her mother's comment when the ruse was uncovered was something to the effect of "we did what we had to do to win."

Then, a much sadder tale, a young girl from St. Louis committed suicide when a boy she'd met online began to accuse her of being a terrible person.  Now, sure, one nasty email message shouldn't lead a kid to suicide but it turns out it wasn't a boy at all but a neighbor girl, her mother and a family friend.

And then my favorite stage mom of the year, Lynne Spears, sells Jamie Lynn's pregnancy story for a million dollars - not too embarrassed to make a buck, I guess.  Any surprise Britney has hit the skids?  What does parenting mean anymore?  My daughter felt she was destined to see Hannah Montana when she came to town.  But we couldn't swing it - holidays, etc.  Of course, I never heard about the fun little contest, but I most assuredly would not have told her she could lie about the death of her father in order to win the tickets.  My daughter has also had cantankerous relationships with girls at school, even the occasional falling out with a friend.  Never once did I consider helping her taunt, tease or otherwise manipulate another child - though I might have liked to see the other kid squirm a little.  Instead I told her she should widen her circle of friends, sometimes things don't go the way we hoped, etc., etc., no matter how much my mama lion instincts wanted to defend my little cub.  Of course, I can't say I've ever found an opportunity to sell my daughter's foibles to a national magazine - maybe I'm just not looking hard enough.   

But seriously, what have we become when the worst things are children do, the most egregious violations of civil behavior, or even the most embarrassing of personal foibles are aided, abetted, concocted by and - OMG - even profited from by mothers?  Isn't it time we recognized that the precious darlings we are raising today are the future adults of tomorrow? Someday we are all going to come to rely on them for care, assistance and a gentle good night.  How on earth is teaching them to thwart the spirit of a contest in order to win going to help them learn compassion?  How is aiding your child in seeking revenge on an old friend teaching her that she is a wonderful girl no matter who her friends are?  What has your child learned when the reaction to her news of teenage pregnancy is how much is it worth?  (Do you think Jamie Lynn and Britney will sell mom's death photo when they finally decide they've had enough?)   But honestly, what are the gains of such short-term, self-involved thinking?  Isn't it time for mothers of today to stand up and be parents - the sort of parents who know where the line is and aren't afraid to draw it in the sand for the kids?!  Boundaries and rules are created to ensure fair play and like it or not, passing that wisdom along to the kids is the grown-up's job.