Zip It, Lock It, Put It in Your Pocket

Although we are a homeschooling family, my daughter started preschool in September. We enrolled her for many reasons including enabling me to have time alone to work with my older son and giving my daughter a fun social outlet, which she clearly craves.

But I really wasn't prepared for the "school" experience. What has surprised me the most? The behaviors she's adopted as a result of being involved in a group setting where control is a major goal. Oh, and the fact that a teacher in the preschool kicked a student. Yeah, that was kinda surprising, too.

The teacher (not my daughter's teacher, but another in the same preschool) was apparently kicked by a little boy and she decided kicking him back would somehow be a good lesson. Hey, do unto others, right? Well, lesson learned because that teacher was quickly "kicked" out of the school.

Anyway, back to the whole behavior and control thing. I've noticed a distinct change in my daughter's behavior when she wants something. She's 4 and sure, she whines and demands like many young children, but since preschool she's also become more stern. I can see her mimicking what the teacher might say when trying to get the group to comply to her wishes.

My daughter now uses words like "chit-chatty" (as in, "MOMMY! You are being TOO chit-chatty and I CAN NOT hear the tv!"), "hands to yourself" (as in, "MOMMY! My BROTHER is NOT keeping his HANDS to HIMSELF!") and, my personal favorite, "Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket." That last one she repeats several times a day - almost whenever anyone is talking to someone besides her, complete with a pointed finger, pursed lips and narrowed eyes. She means business.

I don't believe the teacher has a "mean face" when she uses these terms to corral the class, but this is how my daughter is interpreting them. And all I can think about is this: When, in our adult lives, do we have to deal with people telling us to shut up and keep our hands to ourselves? My son was never "taught" these skills and he knows better than to touch people inappropriately or talk when the situation calls for quiet respect.

I feel like so many things get an inordinate amount of focus in a schoolroom setting. I understand that it is necessary for the teacher to maintain order, but I'm glad my children won't grow up with "maintenance of order" as their primary day-to-day experience.

This is an original post to New Jersey Moms Blog. Shannon blogs about parenting, homeschooling and technology at PHAT Mommy and she assists the Professor of Giftology at The Present Professor.