Handling the Nearly-Tween-Aged Playdate

My son is nine years old and homeschooled. When he wants to get together with friends, there is no shortage of options. We are involved in two homeschool groups where he has many friends. Kids come to our home and he goes to other kids' homes. We also have traditional playdates, where the parents enjoy each other's company and want to get together just as much as the kids.

Last week, my son went to camp and met a boy he had a lot in common with. At the end of the week, they exchanged phone numbers and my son is now asking when they can get together. I am at a loss.

I don't know the boy or, obviously, his family. Don't even know their last name. I would not let my son go to this boy's house alone and I doubt his mom would be dropping him off here. And I certainly don't want to go to a stranger's house and sit there while our boys play.

So what do I do? I could see if they wanted to get together at a park or other public place. But I'd feel completely awkward calling his mom and asking to get together. And again, I'd be sitting there with a stranger. Plus, the boy goes to school, so that significantly limits his availability.

The tween years are an odd time in terms of playdates. When your kids are young, you join the local Moms Club or find people in your neighborhood to create playgroups. You're always with your children. Then they get older and playgroups turn into school and sports, or in my case, homeschool groups. You still know the families your kids are playing with. But then there are those in-between years. Your children aren't old enough to drive themselves and organize their own gatherings, but they are meeting other kids under circumstances that don't allow you to get to know the parents.

I explained to my son that he'll meet lots of kids he likes over the years, but not all of them will be able to become his good friends. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. But that feels so sad to me. He's old enough to make his own friends, but not quite old enough to keep them without parental assistance.

Photo credit.

Original New Jersey Moms Blog post.

Shannon stays busy running her childrens' busy social calendars while blogging and designing blogs to stay sane. Her personal site is PHAT Mommy.