Attention Dads—You Can’t Babysit Your Own Children

I’m not a laid back person. In fact, I can be fiercely defensive and easily offended, especially when it comes to my kids. Even though I work hard at staying even keeled, I’m the first to admit that it’s easy to ruffle my feathers. That’s just me. I make no excuses, except that I come from a broken home, which actually a great excuse that has gotten me out of quite a few sticky situations over the years. I highly recommend using it if you have the chance, but that’s a post for another day.

Anyway, there are certain hot buttons that can push me directly into an ugly place. The short list includes self righteousness, laziness, bragging about material possessions (unless the boast is about what a great deal you got—that’s a public service), and the atrocity that instantly throws me into a rage--referring to spending time with your own child as “babysitting.”

I’m not trying to pick on dads here, especially with Father’s Day right around the corner, but I’ve never heard a woman say she’s “babysitting” her children. Yet I’ve lost count of the number of dads I’ve heard callously say things like, “My wife is working late tonight, so I’m babysitting the kids.”

Seriously? Babysitting? Your own kids? Sorry dads, but unless your wife hands you a wad of cash when she returns home, what you just did is called parenting.   

Now my husband, despite the multitude of things he does to drive me crazy (especially last week when I came home from the salon upset and he asked, “Are you unhappy with your new haircut because it looks like a mullet?”) is top notch in the dad department. He does all the things dads should do and I love the heck out of him for it.  He's changed more than his fair share of diapers, thrown many a barf-soaked pillow case into the washing machine, and even scrubbed projectile poop off a lamp shade.  I didn't realize how lucky I am until several weeks ago when I was on the phone with a dear friend who informed me that her husband doesn't change their son's diapers because "the smell of poop makes him gag."  I did my best to hold back the snide remark that was brewing, but I couldn't stop myself from blurting out, "Um, is he physically incapable of breathing through his mouth?  It really helps with the whole bad smell issue."

So for the dads who have yet to get the memo, here it is. The year is 2008. You share equal responsibility for your children with your wife. You are not hired help.

This is an original post to the New Jersey Moms Blog. When she’s not composing angry rants, Melissa can be found blogging on her personal site Fits and Giggles.