We are in this together: home schooling mom seeks solitude

Home schooling is tough, but not for the reason you might think.

The academics are easy enough. My eldest is only nine, so we haven't reached calculus, physics or chemistry yet. We do a little division and multiplication. A helping of grammar. Play in the creek after lunch.  Read good books. We belong to two home schooling support groups and attend several activities during the week. So what's the problem?

Constant togetherness. 

We work together, we play together. We go to Shoprite together. Church together. Breakfast, lunch, dinner together. We hang out together. It's a good thing each has his or her own bed. Sleeping together would put me over the edge.

Plus, I'm a mom who enjoys her mental solitude. I need decompression time to sit and stare out the window at the bird feeder. You moms know how it is, you just want some time to relax for a few minutes. I don't need a huge chunk of time – I'd be content with a 15-minute mental siesta. But most days, I survive on a quick five minute break.

Why? Because of all this togetherness. (And a no-nap toddler who loves to play with glue, but that's another post for another day.)

This need for mental space doesn't gel too well with the home schooling-mom gig. I know I can't have both. That's okay. This is the lifestyle I've chosen. Constant kids. Lots of family togetherness. I get it.
If given the choice between peace and quiet vs. loud and boisterous, I'll go with this loud party. When it gets down to it, there is no other way I want to spend my day. I teach my kids to read. As a fan of the written word, that gives me a thrill.

As much as I suffer and complain, I'll continue to keep us all together day in and day out.

I watch my kids love on each other. My five-year-old son uses his nine-year-old sister as a pillow when they watch TV. She doesn't seem to mind. The three big kids dote on their three-year-old sister. My boys twirl the hair on the back of her neck like she is their pet. The two eldest disappear into the bedroom to enter a world of imaginary play combining My Little Pony and Lego.

No, they are not perfect. They fight over who's next on the computer, what game to play or what cartoon to watch on TV. No amount of togetherness will make siblings totally angelic, yet for the most part, they interact really well with each other.

I like to think they use each other as comfy pillows because of all the time we spend together.

According to moms whose kids are grown, soon enough the time will pass and I'll have all the quiet time I miss now. They will be grown and gone and I suspect I'll wish it all back. So I can make the sacrifice for them now. I believe the little solitude stealers are worth it.

This is an original post on New Jersey Moms Blog. Monica is a home schooling mom of four children. Visit her personal blog, Paper Bridges.