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Archive - New Jersey Moms

« 1-2-3 Huh? Is there really a “magic” to discipline? | Main | Not Stressed »

March 31, 2008

I Am My Kids' Mom. But...

ShannonWhen my son was born nearly 9 1/2 years ago, I followed the Dr. Laura Schlessinger mantra of "I am my kid's mom." What this meant, in a nutshell, is that I believed it was my duty as a parent to put my life on hold in order to be there for my child in every sense of the word.

I now have a second child, a 3 1/2 year old girl, and I homeschool both my kids. I am not only my kids' mom, I am their teacher, their housekeeper, their cook, and their taxi service.  I love watching them learn and grow and experience life. But I've definitely evolved from the Dr. Laura mindset.

Making the decision to become a stay-at-home mom was easy for me. I had always dreamed of being the perfect mom, engaging my children with educational play, spending carefree afternoons at the park, and creating a tasty, healthy dinner each evening.

But I've found over the years that staying a stay-at-home mom is not so easy. Engaging your kids in educational play? TIRING. Carefree afternoons at the park? BORING. Cooking a healthy dinner each night? YEAH, RIGHT.

Somewhere between happily strolling my 9 month old around the neighborhood and breaking up the umpteenth sibling fight, I discovered that I need more. I love being my kids' mom, but the daily routine of feeding them, cleaning them, disciplining them, and driving them around to activities and playgroups is turning me into a type of mom that I don't want to be: cranky, bitter, sad.

When you really think about it, children don't need an omni-present, perfect parent. They need a good role model. They need a mom who is happy with who she is.

And so I say to Dr. Laura, I AM my kids' mom, but my kids will learn so much more from seeing me working passionately at a job that I love or coming home energized from a workout than they will from seeing me grumpily washing dishes and serving them meals.

Original New Jersey Moms Blog post.

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