LA Moms Blog

Women's Rights

A few nights ago I was at an interview by Los Angeles Magazine with Matt Weiner, the Creator of Mad Men. The show is set in the early 1960's and even though the show is called Mad Men, it has a lot to say about women of the era and the challenges they faced. It got me thinking about women's rights, where we've come from and how far we still have to go.

I think many people of my generation (that would be the Generation X) were born right as women made great strides in achieving equal rights. Movies like 9 to 5 still depicted rampant sexual harassment in the work place in the 80's. It's really only been the last 25-30 years that women have achieved some level of equality. Women still only make 70 cents to the man's dollar.

Flu, Flu Everywhere, But Not a Shot To Take

One of the mothers at my son's elementary school was talking about the swine flu and said she wasn't planning to get her children the H1N1 vaccination.

"I'm not an alarmist," she said. She hasn't given her kids the flu shot before and she isn't planning to now.

I am an alarmist as this blog I wrote at the beginning of the outbreak will attest. But it's hard to know what to be alarmist about – the virus itself or the vaccine.

Family portraits

Not long ago, my stepson brought a flyer home from school. It informed parents that on the evening of Picture Day, the photographers would be back at the school to take family portraits for those who were interested. Of course, the flyer came home the night before this was supposed to happen, so there wasn't much time to plan. Besides, he and his sister would be at their mom's house the night of the photo event, but the notice came to his dad and me, since it was sent home on one of his days with us.

Families like ours aren't unusual anymore, but they can - literally - be a bit tough to picture.

We didn't go to Portrait Night, but I think there's a good chance that if this event had been scheduled on one of my husband's nights with the kids (and we'd had a little more notice), we might have tried to have pictures taken - and I honestly would have felt a little weird about it. We have snapshots of the four of us, but formal portraits have a certain significance, and that's what makes me unsure. When my husband and I got married, we did get a few photos done of the two of us together with all three of our respective children - his two, and my one. In my thinking, that's our little family: his and mine, all evened out.

Healthy Habits

I gained 38 lbs. while I was pregnant with my baby. After she was born, I lost 19 lbs. by my 6 week check-up. "This is going to be a cinch to lose!",...so I thought. I breastfed and heard of all the encouraging stories of women who lost their baby weight all because of breastfeeding. This was certainly not the case for me.

I gave myself a break. A very good friend of mine said, "It took 9 months to put on so it should take 9 months to take off." Amen to that!!! So I have 9 whole months?! This is going to be a piece of cake. In the famous words of Rob Schneider in every Adam Sandler movie "Yu kin doo eeet!" Unfortunately, 9 months came and went. Hello 19 lbs. So then I gave myself an extension. Okay, by her 1st birthday...Still there. So then I gave myself ANOTHER extension. Okay, by MY birthday! I learned very quickly that the worst kind of promises to break, are the ones we make to ourselves. I felt very defeated.

Don't Look Back

This week I turn 33, which I didn't think much about until my friend pointed out that it is my Jesus year. That, along with a recent message on Revolutionary Faith, made me think about what great things I could accomplish this year. I'm not going to be able to save the world from cancer or swine flu, I don't have the political savvy to charge into Sacramento or DC to bring about sweeping new legislation, and I don't have the funds to alleviate the amount of poverty and suffering that is present in South Bay. But I do have the ability to make a huge difference to two people who have meant the most to me for the largest part of my life. My parents.

 In Korea, there is a joke (if you can call it that), that goes, "If there is a car coming straight towards your mother or your wife, who would you save?" The "correct" answer is "your mother, because you can always get another wife." Like every joke there is a thread of seriousness to this in that filial piety is a highly regarded part of society. Everyone wants everyone else to think that they have the best son or daughter and everyone wants to be the best son or daughter. A good Korean-American friend of mine has extremely abusive in-laws. They insult her appearance, her cooking, her child-rearing skills, anything they can attack. But she doesn't say anything back because her own mother tells her not to, because if she did, then her in-laws could not only say she was a bad daughter-in-law, but that her parents had not raised her properly. The purpose of this illustration is just to show how strong this sense of filial piety can be, that a grown woman born and educated in the US would be willing to take such abuse to please her own parents. 

Lessons of a Kitchen Remodel

This is my kitchen.  Technically, this is the "before" picture.  You can see the ripped-up counters, empty cabinets, the knocked-out wall (which had housed a double-oven and hid a pantry-sized closet space that I had no idea existed until demolition began).  Minus the general disarray and confusion that is inherent in renovating, I'd say this is pretty much how I've seen my kitchen since we moved in -- functional but ugly, not at all what I wanted.  So this picture, as out-of-sorts as it is, represents an upward slope of contentment for me, a moving-up in the world of homeownership.

Renovating our kitchen had been on our minds since we moved into my husband's childhood home nearly 11 years ago.  According to my father-in-law, it had been "state of the art" in the 80s, with its individally hand-made tiles (in green, purple and gold), and had even starred in a laundry commercial during that decade.  But, just as big hair, men in spandex and Jazzercise before it, our kitchen had begun to show its age as the millenium turned.  There were many other things on our to-do list before the kitchen, so we continued to ignore its dated appearance while we prettied up the family room, painted the exterior, added a new back porch, fixed up bedrooms as we filled them up with our babies.

Blob Blog (a mommy blunder!)

Admittedly, I am a bit liberal with my son about what he watches in terms of movies, TV, live shows, etc. Liberal in that some may seem a bit scary to other parents considering his age (7 1/2 years). Don't get me wrong, it's not that he's watching R rated movies with extreme violence, sex, nudity and bad language. But I'm that parent who has taken him to "Iron Man," lets him watch "Spongebob," etc, you get the picture. (I can feel some of you giving a nod of me too and others squirming in horror!)

His father, who I haven't lived with since he was a year old, started letting him watch movies, etc. that I considered inappropriate probably at age 4. Things like "Spiderman" which I freaked out about, and other things that I considered too violent. But at this point I've relaxed realizing that each kid is different in their tolerance, reactions and interest and that my son is a happy, sensitive boy who has a high tolerance to a little scary.

Driver Education

Warning: rant ahead. It really bugs me that people move their shopping carts the way they drive. They are on phones, wandering aimlessly, and completely oblivious to everyone else. Why is that? How hard is it really, to just watch where you’re going? I’m hard pressed to decide which is worse: the grocery store, Costco or the freeways . At Costco, the aisles, carts and items are bigger than at the grocery store. This might lead a person to believe that there is more room for you to move around. In actuality, it leads people to believe there is more room for you to move around THEM.

Seriously folks. Every time I go to Costco there are people who stop for no reason in the middle of the aisle. People push the oversize carts with one hand while talking on a cell phone and simultaneously trying to push their way to the front of a sample line (not sure which hand they will grab food with), and people who weave back and forth across the aisle, unsure of which way they want to go. Then there are those who decide to stop in the middle of the aisle, or go soooo s-l-o-w because, well, who knows.  These very same people are out there on the roads, with the exact same behavior behind the wheel. They run stop signs, lights and crosswalks, don’t signal when they should, signal when they ought not, and weave around when they can’t decide which way to go.

Katie Couric Tells Women's Conference Attendees a Little Something About Resilience

Maria Shriver may be the busiest First Lady of a state in the U.S. Just prior to the start of this year's Women's Conference, she teamed up with the Center for American Progress, Time Magazine, NBC Universal, the USC Annenberg Center on Communication Leadership and Policy and the Rockefeller Foundation...

...and issued a national study called The Shriver Report: A Woman's Nation Changes Everything, which highlights the many ways American society has changed due to the current recession and the emerging economic power of women.

Today's lunch session touched on the report's findings. It began with a "Once-in-a-Lifetime-Conversation" between former Secretary of State Madeline Albright, CNN commentator Amy Holmes, Good Morning America correspondent Claire Shipman and Valerie Jarrett (whose official titles are Senior Advisor to the President and Assistant to the President for the Office of Public Engagement and Intergovernmental Affairs).

It concluded with the emotional discussion on grief by Shriver, Elizabeth Edwards, Susan St. James and surprise guest Lisa Niemi. Sandwiched between those two powerhouse panels was Katie Couric, who broke the ice by announcing "I love the smell of estrogen in the afternoon," followed by a joke:

She continued to charm the audience with tales of her early days as a newscaster:

Couric did not use the "P" word (you know, perky) to describe herself, but did admit that she's one of those positive people who is "hot-wired for happiness." Her husband told her that she was "born on a sunny day."

Couric got through trials in her career through hard work and sheer determination, and never doubted her talent or abilities and she succeeded. But there are times when that's not enough - which she learned the hard way, when her husband Jay Monahan was diagnosed with cancer:

"His nine month battle with cancer was a hellish journey," Couric said.

She remembered how she continued to work every day, chatting up guests about their latest books or movies… "but a piece of me was dying too," she said. "Putting on the happy morning face most the excruciating challenge I ever faced."

She said she learned the language of cancer, frantically calling medical schools, pharmaceutical companies, anyone she could think of to find a magic bullet. She never found it. Her husband collapsed in the bathroom on a January day and died on his way to the hospital.

She mourned. Her grief lasted a long time. But eventually, she had an epiphany, inspired by a quote from Thomas Jefferson: The earth is for the living.

"That gave me solace and permission to seek joy and choose happiness," she said.

Four years later, Couric lost her sister Emily to pancreatic cancer at age 54.

"Clearly, the sunny day I was born on, didn’t stay sunny forever – but they never do," she said."My life was on a journey of loss and disappointment, but also amazing joy and incredible discoveries and unparalleled opportunities. And here we all are."

Original post for Los Angeles Moms Blog by Donna Schwartz Mills.

This post is sponsored by Lean Cuisine.

CA Nonprofit Leaders receive Minerva Awards at CA Womens Conference 2009

I have worked and volunteers at different non-profits over my career and sometimes forget that at the heart of these agencies are stalwart women who make miracles happen on a daily basis.  Today at the Women's Conference, four of the miracle makers were honored.  According to California First Lady Maria Shriver, the recipients of the 2009 Minerva Awards are "true Architects of Change".    They are recognized for their extraordinary legacies to their communities CA and the nation. These women are not only caretakers, but advocates. For example, the brilliant Dr. Hull challenged us to think about the national debate for Health Care.  Jane Goodall, at the forefront of the environmental movement, spunkily encouraged us all to reach a little bit higher in addressing the environmental problems we've created for ourselves and our children.  

This year's awards went to 4 amazing Californians:

• Agnes Stevens - Founder of Schools on Wheels, which provides educational opportunities and one-on-one tutoring for homeless children in Los Angeles' skid row
• Helen Devore Waukazoo - Co-founder of the the Bar Area-based Friendship House, which provided residential substance abuse treatment for American Indians
• Dr. Kathy Hull - Founder of the George Mark Children's House in San Leandro, the first freestanding residential  pediative palliative care center in the USA
  
• Dr. Jane Goodall - Renowned primatologist and conservationist, Founder of the Jane Goodall Institute, UN Messenger of Peace, Founder of Roots and Shoots program and author.

If there was any doubt that women indeed make a difference, just check these women out and prepare to be inspired.

An original post to LA Moms Blog

Sheila Bernus Dowd usually posts at Silicon Valley Moms Blog and at XiaolinMama, but is visiting LA and enjoying the good weather!

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This post is sponsored by Lean Cuisine.

Grief, Healing, and Resilience with Maria Shriver, Elizabeth Edwards, Susan St. James & Lisa Niemi

There were no dry eyes during the Women's Conference lunchtime "Once-in-a-Lifetime Conversation: Grief, Healing & Resilience". California First Lady Maria Shriver began by sharing some of the feelings, experiences and emotions she had this summer after both her mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, and her uncle, Senator Edward M. Kennedy's passed away.  

My brother committed suicide three years ago and I'm still unable to talk about it without bursting into tears, so I am absolutely in awe of Shriver's ability to speak so eloquently about emotions that must still be raw.  Maria was joined by a phenomenal group of women living in every stage of grief: actress and dancer Lisa Niemi, actress Susan St. James, and Senior Fellow of the Center for American Progress, Elizabeth Edwards.

Shriver said of her motivation for having the conversation despite how emotionally difficult it is, "It is our hope that this conversation will give anyone out there dealing with a broken heart or a shattered soul a sense that you are not alone."

The discussion: Shriver began by asking Lisa Niemi, wife of Patrick Swayze, if it's easier to let go if you know death is coming.  Lisa shared that she thought the long months of her husband's illness would help her get used to the idea of loss but it didn't. When Patrick's death came, it made the "sadness and grief prior to that look like an intellectual concept."

Susan St. James lost her son Teddy in a plane crash five years ago.  Shriver asked her, "Listening to Lisa, is the pain five years later still the same?"  

Susan says it is and shared how she once told her husband that if she ever lost a child she'd never speak again.  But of course, right after the crash she had to deal with it.  "You take your character and then you choose how you're going to go on."

Elizabeth Edwards lost her son 14 years ago and she says, "The truth is you honor somebody by taking whatever greatness they had in their life and incorporate it...translate it into your own life as you move forward." 

Edwards went on to share, "You're not going to get over it.  You're never ever going to get over it."  And you don't know what the trigger will be.  She shares how she dissolved into tears last week when she saw a picture of a young woman that's the age her son would be right now. But you try to turn these things into something positive.  

What do you say to someone who's grieving?  Maria Shriver says,"In the United States we're a grief illiterate society. People don't feel comfortable talking about grief or loss."  Too many people don't know what to say when someone's grieving, they don't know what to say when you've lost a child, they don't know what to say in the first couple days and weeks. 

Susan St. James made the crowd laugh by saying that right after her son died in the accident it was not helpful to hear a guy tell her he'd lost his dog so he knew how she felt. 

Lisa Niemi shared that she herself never knew what to say to people before.  But now she has a couple of girlfriends who've told her she can call anytime to talk.  She told how she was having a panic attack at three a.m. and she actually called one of them.  "It's very important to reach out and reconnect with people."

Elizabeth Edwards explained of her son, "When he died, I didn't lose the desire to parent him." --I started to cry, and so did everyone else around me, when she told how she goes to her son's grave and still talks to him.  In the year after he passed away she took the books on the high school senior reading list and read them aloud at her son's grave. 

She says of saying the right thing, "People mean to say the right thing even when they say the wrong thing.  Even if you say the wrong thing, don't worry. Be present, be the person who's willing to get the call at any time, and not just now, 14 years out."

Maria asks Lisa if it makes it harder to be able to turn on the TV and see her husband in film.  She shares that it's different because that's an actor playing a role.

Susan St. James talked about keeping her marriage together after the death of her son.  After the accident, her husband couldn't move around because he'd also broken several bones.  He had to be still so he couldn't distract himself with work and be gone all the time.  It meant that he had to share the grieving process with her.

Grieving in the public eye: Lisa Niemi talked about tabloids like the National Enquirer and how what they did was emotional cruelty to her family.  "Every month they were killing Patrick off and it was very demoralizing."

When do you start to laugh again?  Susan says you do find yourself laughing, her other kids made her laugh.  But she looked in the mirror a few months ago and she felt like she saw herself again.  Saw herself as the woman she used to be.  Says she had five natural childbirths, is vegetarian, raised her kids, -- and she couldn't do anything about her son's death.  "You're used to these things happening to someone else and you're helping them...  People are afraid to talk to somebody who's just lost someone." 

Maria says she knows it's been eight weeks but, "I find myself more emotional today than I was two weeks ago or a week ago."

Then she asks Lisa a doozy of a question, "Do you see yourself as a widow or still married to Patrick?  Lisa paused and finally said, "That's a hard question." (I thought she was going to start to cry on this one.  I wanted to cry!)  She explains she spent 2/3 of her life with Patrick.  "My regret is I didn't tell him I loved him enough over that 34 years."  She regrets the times she was mean or bossy.  

Maria had the room in tears again when she shared how, "I did Meet The Press last Sunday with David (David Gregory) and it was the first time I walked out and there was no call."  She explained that her mother would always call her after TV appearances and it was the first time she'd done a TV show and hadn't gotten a call from her mother -- and then she lightened the mood by making a little reference to Cell Phone Gate by saying that she was never in her car when she talked to her mom.

Maria then asked Elizabeth Edwards about the process of having cancer and grieving through it.  "Do you find yourself grieving now while you're living, the loss of your own life?"

Edwards responded,"I grieve the loss of my life as I knew it." But death offers her a chance of reunion with her son.

Lisa said of Patrick, "Cancer may have taken him but it never beat him." 

Maria Shriver ended the discussion by saying the most important thing is that the grieving process hasn't beaten these women, "And you're an inspiration to all of us."

Written by Liz Dwyer aka Los Angelista.

This post is sponsored by Lean Cuisine.

Women's Conference '09: Sprinkles Cupcakes Founder Candace Nelson

In my dreams Sprinkles Cupcakes founder Candace Nelson sets up shop in my kitchen and bakes me an endless supply of red velvet cupcakes.  No matter how many I eat, my pants still fit.  In fact, on the red velvet cupcake diet, my pants get looser! 

In reality, I only get Los Angeles best and most famous cupcakes when I go see my dentist in Beverly Hills.  I stand in the Sprinkles line as long as they want me to, pay whatever they're charging, and let the smell of that cupcake torture me the entire ride home.  Then I eat my cupcake slooowly.  -- Well, except for last time when I made the mistake of going to the restroom when I got home.  When I came out, the cupcake box was open and empty, and my six year old was licking his lips and saying, "That was good!"

Yes, I contemplated murder.

Thankfully, Sprinkles exists because not only does Candace Nelson make Los Angeles' best cupcake, she's also a savvy businesswoman.  She told me her #1 tip for any mom thinking of starting a business:

Candace, I will volunteer to watch your kids any day you'd like if you'll think about opening a Sprinkles shop on the east side of town!

Written and photographed by Liz Dwyer aka Los Angelista.

This post is sponsored by Lean Cuisine.

Women's Conference '09: Meet The Press Moderator David Gregory

Today I learned two new things about David Gregory:

1) He's from Los Angeles.  Now that I know this, every time I see him sparring on Sunday morning with the political target of the week, I'll be picturing him skateboarding down the Venice Boardwalk and saying, "W'sup dude?" to his homies.

2) He's pretty tall.  It's shallow, but I suppose since I always see him sitting behind a desk asking serious questions, I'd pictured him being much shorter. However, he's easily over six feet tall.  I stand corrected!

Speaking of serious questions, my plans were to ask him how exactly he comes up with his questions for Meet The Press.  How much research does he do every week, does he write his questions on his own or does someone write them for him?  But, his "handler" (yes, he has one) dragged him away before I could do anything other than snag some footage of him giving advice for women coming up in the world.

Even though I have sons, I'm going to make sure they follow the "get a mentor" advice.  And David, if you ever want to get back to your skateboarding roots, my six year old is down to roll with you.

Written and photographed by Liz Dwyer aka Los Angelista.

This post is sponsored by Lean Cuisine.

Live Blogging at the 2009 Women's Conference: Changing the World Through the Web

Silicon Valley Moms Group is here at the 2009 Women's Conference, listening to a ballroom conversation on Changing the World Through the Web with Joe Rospars from the Obama Campaign, Randi Zuckerberg from Facebook, Premal Shah from Kiva and Ashton Kutcher. Notes from the conversation (this is live blogging, people, so don't expect it to be free to spelling errors, perfect, complete or accurately stated!).

Overall, we were very impressed. We weren't sure Ashton Kutcher would know what he was talking about, but he pleasantly surprised us. (Yes....we follow @aplusk...and have for a while now.... and are now also following your secret account too...)

Kara Swisher from the Wall Street Journal moderates. 

What are you doing with these twits? 

Kutcher - "You call them twits, I call them people." It is not just the web being frivolous - Wolf Blitzer from CNN was also covering balloon boy. The race for 1 million twitter followers with CNN - as we are racing one another, we are both raising awareness for Malaria No More. Oprah, Ryan Seacrest made donation, then opened up donation page for the cause. Way to activate millions of people for a cause insttaneously. Kelloggs Care - integrated video to Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. This is a way to get people to invest in a cause they care about, then they become the advocates themselves. Hopefully you can rally your friends and the people around you to create a movement. Before people had to travel to a town hall meeting, then you would plan how to create the movement, then set a date, then people have to travel again....now you can organize from you home and then activate. We don't just become an advocate for a cause, but use it to activate people.

Political organizations using the web?

Rospars - Organization has to accept responsibility for leadership in this new world. How to understand what concrete results would be. Can't just put up a Facebook page and expect it to do something.

How important was the virtual campaign for Obama?

Rospars - Never had our own specific goals, it always was tied to the overall campaign goals. Two thirds of the money coming into the campaign came in online.

No other way to get this info out, right?

Shah - Yes, people can use Flip video (used all over Kiva website right now), post photo. Large organization it is hard to connect with how your money is used. Getting repaid is more than just being paid back, it is getting information. Direct transparency.

What tools are overhyped? What is useful?

Zuckerberg - tips for small biz/non-profit: think about virality and tagging. Example of a marathon taking pictures crossing the finish line and telling them to add their tag. Openness and connectedness. Let people be an ambassador for your cause. Previously, could volunteer time or money. Through sites like Facebook, there are dozens of ways to make a different. Donating status or lending reputation.

Kutcher - doing a lot of things for brands. The biggest thing I would advocate for with PepsiCo or Kelloggs - don't go out and build a website. Truth is that there are so many tools that exist out there already - Facebook, twitter, FourSquare - that you can use to create social good. You don't have to build an all in one functional website. Any company can go and build their own iPhone app. Use the tools and connect them. Link twitter to facebook. Facebook to Ustream. Ustream to Youtube. Create a loop of technology that you don't have to build. Use this to create social good / execute business plan.

Shah - Power of the correct idea can spread so fast these days. No marketing budget at Kiva - $0. It just spreads. Not only the web, but mobile phones. This is really outpacing the web. Ex: take a photo of herself, post it, get $25 donation and she gets that immediately through mobile payments. Trading cell phone minutes for gas - Kenya.

Kutcher - All kinds of stuff coming that will eliminate modern banking as we know it. Japan - pay for taxi by putting your phone up.

Rospars - More than only one tool, biggest tool is leadership and taking ownership of your network and your cause. It doesn't just happen spontaneously. It is about getting offline - the connection. Yes, tag a photo, but to what end? What is the donation at the end of it? How do you push your people toward the goal? Tools? All of it - mobile, Facebook, YouTube.

Downside of some of this "continuous partial attention"?

Kutcher - Danger is we become an advocacy planet that is filled with evangelists that aren't really activated. As you become stationary and your relationships become virtual.... If your means of social engagement, I can just shut someone off - unfollow you, unfriend you. People's relationships become reduced and there is a lot less hugging in the world. There is a need for physical activation behind projects. As long as people remember that the heart is the valuable part and to actually invest in the things they believe in.

Zuckerberg - "For a while, my most important relationship was with my Blackberry. It was very satisfying."

Kutcher - "I'm switching to Blackberry!"

Shah - Flip side is how much time are we just spending online. Especially with children today. What gets lost today? A lot of intangibles lost.

Zuckerberg - How these sites can be used to build tolerance of people? New product launch - we've been working with Stanford and releasing "Peace.Facebook.com" - people who normally wouldn't be friends with each other are friends on Facebook and mobilizing.

Rospars - System for analyzing emails and sending responses. Providing oportunities for people to help the campaign. Danger is that organizations will waste people's time. If the organization doesn't understand the activation piece.

What is your favorite device?

Kutcher - Wow, there is a lot of them. There is a new thing that is really cool - Daily Motion. Communication through photos. Self expression platform - how do you feel in a photo, create community around those photos. If I could make up a tool....come back to me, I've got a lot.

Shah - Mint.com. Allows you to link all your accounts in one place. Just got bought by Intuit. I'm interested in seeing broadband spread all throughout the world.

Zuckerberg - Flip camera. Video is such a powerful representation online. How do you make it personal? People really influencing people are really using video. I am really interested in photo technology that goes directly to the web.

Rospars - Old school email. At the end of the day, don't underestimate the power of email. Email raises the majority of the money.

Kutcher - I just want cell phone service everywhere. Hello, hello, hello...I don't want to play that game anymore. Just open up that pipe. I also want my mobile device to become a broadcast station and an application that would allow me to download a movie and just sit it on my coffee table and play that movie on my TV.

Audience questions

Facebook - internet security/malware and phishing - what steps being taken to protect users?

Zuckerberg - User security is the #1 thing we are thinking about to protect users. I'm not on that team, but we give users a whole variety of privacy settings.

NYT journalist (carnage) moving to non-profit world. It is a lot about me and how to connect with the individual receiving donation. How does this connect to large organizations?

Shah - People just want to connect with where its going, it doesn;t have to be a person. Transparency will get you larger levels of engagement.

Kutcher - The web is also about sharing, it is not just about me.

If someone has a really good idea, where do you go? A university? Someone else who's doing it?

Zuckerberg - Tap into big communities, because others are probably thinking about them too.

Kutcher - Customizing sites to work with you. For instance, Ning.

Swisher - Lots of free tools now.

What's the sleeper? What is the next big game changer?

Swisher - Touch tablets. Not just your fingers, but the Wii. Using your body.

Statistics - Are we seeing more of donations going to the cause, less on organizational costs?

Shah - For every $1 we spend on marketing, we raise $10 online.

Written by Linsey Krolik, Silicon Valley Moms Blog. Photos and Video by Sheila Dowd, Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

This post is sponsored by Lean Cuisine.