DC Metro Moms

Teen Writers, Blogging and Me

Last week, I was given the amazing opportunity to speak to a group of young female writers about blogging. Blogging happens to be one of the few topics that I can chatter on endlessly about with an excited smile naturally plastered on my face and yet, I found myself a little shaky at the start. Why? Because these girls are smart as well as gifted. I arrived early enough to hear some of their work and let me just tell you, blogosphere, watch out because some fresh talent is headed our way. And soon.

I began by telling them a little about myself. I write for 3 blogs – 2 of my own – my own personal site and a review blog. I also write for the DC Metro Moms. I started writing online back in 2005 when most people didn’t even know what blogging was. It was a community with a space and a voice for everyone. “Weblogs” had a hippie kind of feel in a very new millennium kind of way. Back then, no one I knew was making money blogging and most people posted under pseudonyms in fear that people would read their most intimate tales and then somehow end up on their doorstep or worse, spying through their window. (because that is worse.) Back then, there was no real time interface beyond instant messaging so comments were HUGE. Getting a comment from someone you’ve never met about something you wrote was extremely exciting. FEEDBACK!!! All of a sudden I was addicted. About 6 months in (waaaaay back in 2005) I wrote this. And then I got a grip. 

Wildlife, You've Crossed The Line This Time

Living out in the country was the choice our family made when we moved back to the DC Metro Area a few years ago. We had taken our turn and were done with the close proximity that suburbia offered but yet we wanted a safe place for our children to grow up, good schools for them to attend and a sense of community sans the HOA. We got what we were searching for when we moved to Fauquier County, VA…and then some.

I couldn’t begin to share my collection of harrowing and hilarious tales depicting our family vs. nature in one sitting. There have been far too many wildlife encounters, weather related incidents and hometown dramas to recount readily. I can tell you, however, that recently, nature and its wildlife have seriously crossed the line.

TMI at IHOP

My 9 year old daughter and I had the chance to have a Mommy & Me dinner out last week. I let her pick the venue and since breakfast is her favorite meal of the day, she chose IHOP. As much as that would be one of the last places I would choose, away we went.

We were seated in a cozy little booth and had just placed our order when another couple was seated across from us. The man was about my age and his daughter looked to be a year older than my daughter. No sooner than they closed their menus, the father started in on his speech. At first, I tried not to pay attention. I mean, I was there to have some special time with my daughter, not listen in on another parent having time with theirs. Two rounds of tic-tac-toe on the place mat later and we were both all ears. It was impossible not to be.

First, though, they placed their order. The father had a fat stack of pancakes while the meek 10 year old dressed in a Pollyanna skirt and zip sweatshirt with braids in her hair ordered the tilapia with a side of broccoli. Odd. Then, his sermon began with the importance of a real friends and quickly moved onto how to deal with bullies.

Everything the man said was rational. If I had been reading what he was telling his daughter out of a Parenting Tips book, I wouldn't have batted an eyelash. However, this man was unmistakably on a mission and more than that, he was like a dog with a bone. As a bystander, I found it very hard not to be drawn in.

Worried About Your Teens Sexting? You Should Be.

If you have teens at home then you know that they now come with an attachment on one hand called a cell phone. With that cell phone, they can perform feats unimaginable to you and me like texting 100 words per minute using only their thumbs. Often, teens don’t actually talk on these cell phones but you can be sure that they take and send pictures, video and occasionally even an email or two although I now hear from my own teen that email is incredibly outdated. Go figure.

One of the newest trends to worry parents and authorities is a blend of sex and texting called “sexting”. According to Wikipedia, sexting “is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between cell phones”. This new Gen Y mating call, which 20% of teens admit participating in, would be problematic enough sent between two consenting parties, but in most cases, these photos are shared among groups of friends and sometimes even entire schools and beyond. Usually, the sexually explicit pictures also end up on the internet where they become a permanent record of an unfortunate choice.

Many kids involved in the practice of sexting aren’t aware of the severity of the consequences. In some states, both the teens that sent sexual pictures as well as those who received them have been charged with child pornography and are now required to register as sex offenders. But sexting has ruined lives beyond felony criminal charges. In one recent case, a teen girl committed suicide after being harassed and bullied over sexting images she sent to her then boyfriend.

This news was enough for me to ask my fourteen year old what she knew about sexting. Her reaction fell in line with one of the definitions provided by Urban Dictionary : 

If You're Pregnant With Your First Baby Don't Read This

Yes, I'm admitting it; first time moms make me giggle. Sure, sure, they are each wonderful, glowing beauties and birth is always a blessed event. And, yes, yes, all of the good stuff about motherhood is implied as a given here. Once upon a time, I was there myself and I get it...really, I do. But if you are the parent of more than one child, you know, and you have probably chuckled, if not had a full-on belly laugh, over this very same discussion.

It makes perfect sense that women, when pregnant with their first babies, are information junkies. I, too, read all the books and watched way too many baby-related cable shows. I went to Lamaze classes and actually used the "What to bring to the hospital" checklist they gave us. I planned on having a natural childbirth which, if you know me, makes absolutely no sense at all...but I read that was best so that was what I was going to do. And I even went to the Lamaze class reunion one year later because I had no life and also no other children at that time. Case and point that the humor of the first time motherhood gig goes well beyond pregnancy. It lasts all they way until you have baby #2.

The Family Diet?

A strange thing has been happening to this family during the last calendar year. While our pockets have been feeling the pinch of the downturn economy, the size of our waistlines has been on the rise. Now, I wasn't a math major but something here doesn't seem to add up correctly.

We've never been overachievers as far as our collective activity level (we don't run marathons or anything) but we keep both of our kids involved in sports. Being an aerobics instructor myself, I always encourage proper food choices and exercise. I try to cook healthy meals while limiting the amount of junk food in the house but yet it still seems like we are waging an uphill battle.

It's one thing to feel, as parents, or more so, as a woman that has given birth to two children, that I could stand to lose a few pounds. However, looking at those two, young, beautiful daughters and honestly being able to say the same thing is a far different matter.

Saying Goodbye to the Extras

In this floundering economy, we are all discovering our creative side when it comes to saving money. Whether it’s cutting out the movie channels on your cable bill, clipping grocery coupons or canceling your gym membership, the scissors are out and at the ready. Feeling the pinch personally, I recently combed over all of our household accounts and made some major cutbacks of my own.

I began with a stack of bank statements and a list of our monthly expenditures. First stop was our phone bill. After reviewing it closely, I realized that we were still being charged for two phone lines when we only use one. That cancellation shaved $60 a month off our bill. Rallied by such quick success, I called the cell phone company straight away. Do you know that you can ask them to help you lower your bill? It felt kind of like asking what was on special this week but it works! The gas company will do the same thing. Just like magic.

Vasectomy Regret

When you're young, you know everything. You know who you want to marry, where you'd like to raise your children and just how many of those little darlings you want to have surrounding you at the dinner table every night. But as so many of us find out the hard way, even when you are all grown up, there's still a lifetime of learning left to do.

I was 26 years old when I first approached my husband about having a vasectomy. Our two daughters at that time were 5 years and 18 months old. Add my husband's two sons from his first marriage to the picture and we needed to make sure that four children would be able to get to college. I felt as though we were looking at one heck of a daunting task and I hadn't even lost the baby weight or gotten my hormones under control yet. At that point in my life, I was sure, 100% positive, that I didn't want to have any more babies. He agreed because of the same reasons but more, I believe, because I was so persuasive. Because I was so sure.

At 26 years old I came to this decision. What the hell was I thinking?

Gymshowerphobia

I've been a member of World Gym for a year now. I usually head to the gym after I teach my own aerobics class to meet with my personal trainer. I've made a habit of arriving sweaty and leaving sweatier. Why? Because I am terrified of taking a gym shower.

I would classify myself as a medium level germaphobe. I'm not a freak who won't shake hands (I keep sanitizer in my purse) or sleep in a hotel room (I bring my own pillow cases) but I do draw the line at filth. In my mind, filth is not necessary something you can see. Take as an example, the public computers at the library. Used daily by finger-sucking children and nose-blowing adults, these keyboards may carry no visible dirt at all but you can be sure they are laden with germs from the Esc key to the Enter button. Also, bathroom door handles, elevator buttons, hotel remote controls and escalator hand rails fall into that category so I tend to shy away from those things.

At the gym, I try really hard not to touch things with my bare hands because the only thing more disturbing than germs are sweaty germs. I wear my weight training gloves even when I'm not using weights because I am not there to look cool. I wipe down everything after I use it and never leave the gym without washing my hands. Afterward, I drive home to the sanitary privacy of my own bathroom to shower and change. That's what works for me.

Planning for My Lifestyle Lift

At 35, I am just now coming to realize how much age changes us physically. Not only can I see my once younger self in my 13 year old daughter, I can also see my future in the appearance of my 60 year old mother. To be perfectly honest, the latter scares me to death. It may even scare me all the way to the doctor.

I realize that it's possible that I place too much importance on my looks. I can still remember visiting the optometrist's office in the 4th grade when I had to be fitted for my first pair of glasses. I took one look at myself in the mirror with my new glasses on and burst into tears. My mother explained away my reaction to the curious eye doctor by simply saying, "She's got vanity issues." Maybe I did. Maybe I still do but I'll tell you one thing that is for certain: I am not going downhill without a fight.