DC Metro Moms

Last week I went to Whole Foods and... BAM!

4 trips to the grocery store in a week's time is not unusual for me. Maybe it's leftover from my days of living in NYC as my father and I  would prowl from specialty shop to specialty shop hunting ingredients which, once assembled, became that evening's dinner. 

I just can't seem to get into the swing of shopping once a week.  I've heard it all before,  people try to tell me shopping once a week is easier and all it takes is a little planning. Yes, I know it would even save us money because gas is so prohibitively expensive.

I've tried and failed.  Even when I select recipes,make a copious list and shop diligently, I still wind up going back to the store for a forgotten ingredient or the store runs out of mushrooms. Go ahead. Re-read that previous sentence.  I have experienced going to the grocery store and being told by the produce manager, "Our mushrooms are sold out. I've worked here for 15 years and this is the first time I've every had this happen!"  So much for my grandmaster plan of making "What Do You Call A Herd of Cattle Masturbating? Beef Stroganoff!" Nope, foiled again, despite my best effort to plan ahead.

My mother keeps trying to buy the kids porn.

When any kind of gift giving occasion rolls around, I worry about what our kids will receive from my mother. Not because she doesn't know her grandsons or their interests, they are close to their grandmother.

And it's not because she gives gifts that aren't age appropriate, she's quite good at matching a gift to a person. She really does go out of her way to think of what one of the kids would really use and enjoy. No, it's not because she's a lousy gift giver, or that she spends too much or that she has some other kind of gift giving affliction. I worry because my mother sometimes isn't able to remember the actual name of what it is she is looking to buy for her grandchildren. It's caused some interesting moments in retail chains across the country.  She may even be on an alert list somewhere. It wouldn't surprise me at all.

May 25, 2004, Our home, Swansea, IL

A conversation with my mother regarding Son Two's birthday present:
Baba: "Does Son Two want a Playboy for his birthday? Son One suggested I get
him a Playboy."
Me: "Mom, it's called a Gameboy".

We caved and went to Hooters for our son's birthday

Almost a year ago our then 7 year old son announced out of the blue, "I want to go to Hooters."  Figuring he'd forget about the request in 10 months, The Huz flippantly answered, "Maybe for your birthday we can go to Hooters." The Huz and I joked with one another about what kind of RSVP's we would get if we sent out birthday party invites to all of Son Two's friends, "Please join us at Hooters as we celebrate our son's 8th Birthday!" According to The Huz, all the dads would definitely be bringing their kids to that party. We both rolled our eyes and we thought that was the end of it. 

Stupid us. About 3 months ago I was driving Son Two past a Hooters and he intently peered out of the car window and announced, "I see the Hooters! I see them. Oh wait, there's a man in there. I bet he's got man boobs."  What??? Did my 7 year old just say "man-boobs?!" WTF?  Where did he pick that up? I'll admit we've used the term "man-purse" on occasion in our family, but "man-boobs"? Um. No.

Why showering every day is worth the money.

Have you seen this article from Parade Magazine asking for people to vote for their support for PBS programming?  I for one do not want public television or radio to go under and I am very willing to pay $1.31 cents per year to make sure PBS stays afloat.  Not only am I willing to fork over that money because I enjoy PBS and have done work for them, I am willing to pay up because I do not support the argument that PBS programming can be replaced by Cable Television programming.  Pardon me while I rant for a moment...

It is out-fucking-rageous that anyone would be so out of touch to not know that there are families who cannot afford Cable Television! Yes, there are actually people who cannot afford to have cable television.  And you know what else? There are people who do not want cable television. Yes, they walk among us!  I have even been in their homes on more than one occasion, and you know what? Not all of them are dope head crack dealers who neglect their kids.  These are families who either don't have the cash or believe that having hundreds of channels doesn't meet their need.   

A Day In A Life of Devra or How I know when I've got too much going on...

I don't know about you, but when I've got too much going on, there are signs and I have learned to heed them. Like yesterday for example. Having parked my car at a meter, I ducked into a store to get change for a dollar. After being given 4 quarters, I dutifully went back to the meter. Fortunately it only took one quarter before I realized I was feeding the wrong meter. So if you were parked on Connecticut Avenue yesterday at 12:00 Noon and you got an extra half hour on your meter know it was on me, Devra Renner, the woman who has been doing too much this week.

Next I took me and my overtaxed brain up the elevator to a monthly meeting where I am a rep for MomsRising. I'm not the only rep, the other one was going to be there too, but a big tadoo over at The Momocrats was happening, so she bailed on me. But do not hate on her. Do not! Look if I had Barack O'boyfriend answering questions on my blog, I'd be bailing on me too.

We were just talking about something weren't we? What were we talking about before I became distracted? Oh right, my inability to keep myself out of embarrassment when I have too much going on causing my brain to misfire.

I am BRAVO's bitch

If you have a show, and you put it on BRAVO, I'll watch it. Not only will I watch it, I will DVR it. I will DVR it and I will watch it and I will call my friends to see if they have watched it or DVR'd it.  Pathetic? You need not answer that question.  Believe me, every day in every way I hear that inner voice screaming at me, "Woman, have you no shame? Do not watch Make Me A Supermodel. Do not!"  Yet, week after week, I find myself,eyes glued to our TV, just waiting to see whether Ben will end up in a bi-curious hook up with Ronnie. (Email me your thoughts on this. OMG, did I just type that? I meant to so not.)

Surely I am not the only woman alive who has chosen Kenmore appliances and then questioned whether she should now switch to GE based upon what's being used in the Top Chef kitchen. Totally normal, right? Pleaseohpleaseohplease, make that a normal thing to think. Please! 

RECAP!! Parenting Guilt: Can We Overcome It? (Plus, a Book Giveaway!)

RECAP: Mommy Guilt Topic Day.

A quick perusal of the blogosphere reveals that Mommy Guilt (or parenting guilt) is a favorite topic of conversation.  Moms who work outside the home feel guilty about not spending as much time as they think they "should" with their children.  Moms who work at home feel guilty about not making money or not making enough money.

If we're confident about our home/work life balance, we'll find something else to beat ourselves up about: breastfeeding versus bottle feeding; crying it out versus attachment parenting; too much TV; too much junk food; not enough reading; not enough energy; not enough spouse time; too much "me" time, however non-existent it may be.

Because parenting guilt is so prevalent, the bloggers on Silicon Valley Moms, Chicago Moms, New York Moms, D.C. Metro Moms, and 50-something Moms Blogs all wrote about parenting guilt and why they felt it.  Our own DC Metro Mom Blogger, Devra Renner and her co-author Aviva Pflock, have written a book about this topic: Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, & Raise Happier KIds.  Devra and Aviva were nice enough to help us out and answer some questions for us about parenting guilt.  Click Here to read more about our conversation with Devra and Aviva, as well as participate in the book giveaway....

DC Metro Moms Blog

• Sometimes Guilty, Sometimes Not
• Guilt Over Not Breastfeeding
• I Feel Guilty Because I Don't Feel Guilty
• Atonement: Using Guilt For Good
• Guilty Of Guilt
• The Yoke Of Guilt, Part Deux
• Take The Words Out Of My Mouth
• Guilty As Charged
• Evolutionary Guilt
• Guilt-Free & Diggin' It!

Silicon Valley Moms Blog

• Missing Moments
• Here We Go Again
• Juggling Working Mom Guilt
• My Top 5 Mommy Guilt Offenders
• Guilt
• Breaking The Guilt Cycle
• The Laws Of Guilt
• Guilty As Charged
• The Constant Guilt
• Mean Mommy = Guilty Mommy
• The Guilt Of The Working Mom
• Objectivism Of Parenting
• G-U-I-L-T
• Mommy Guilt

Chicago Moms Blog

• There's No Guilt Like Mommy Guilt
• My Top Three
• I Hate You Because You Work
• Getting Over The Guilt
• Writing The Book On Guilt

New York City Moms Blog

• Been There, Done That: Guilt Tears
• Guilt, A Gentle Prodding
• Mommy Guilt?
• Bloody Boring
• Guilt And The Go-To-Gal

50-Something Moms Blog (our newest sister site, which will be "officially" launching very soon!)

• Handcuffed By Guilt

Airport security needs to tighten up...their mouth!

Did you know there might be another threat level to the Homeland Security Advisory System?  From what I can tell, it must be Code Brown. 

Recently my kids and I were tipped off to the new code by a TSA Agent at the main terminal at Hartsfield Airport in Atlanta.  The kids and I were tagged for extra security because our original Delta flight had been cancelled and we had to be re-booked onto a flight a day later.  Couple this with the fact that we don't check our bags (lost bags don't get frequent flier miles, yo!), it was a no-brainer we'd be given orange laminated cards and told to step into the line for those of us being put on Double Secret Probation.

Being seasoned travellers, Son One and Son Two both know the routine. Shoes, coats, backpacks all in a bin, bags on the conveyor belt, and do not make any references to flying, bombs, terrorists, liquids (to include pee) or anything else that may be interpreted as threatening behavior (to include threatening your brother for being too slow to get his shoes off!). The Sons know this is serious stuff. 

Dance on stage with Smash Mouth? Oh yes I did!

Last week I was in Chicago attending the auto show as a guest of General Motors Corporation. It was an excellent adventure and all will be revealed as to the Who, What, Where, When, Why and How in a future post because currently at Chez Renner we are going through major kitchen renovations so my time is limited on my computer due to construction dust. Additionally, I am unable to locate the cable which we use to connect camera to computer in order to download pictures. When I post about it all, I want the pics to go with it. I know, I am such a stickler for protocol is hurts, but I think the result will be well worth the wait.

So, given our kitchen chaos, I am going to begin at the end and work my way back. But please stay tuned for the beginning of the story which might get written and posted towards the end of the week. But it could very well be at the beginning of the week after or even later than that. Confused? All I can say is, "Welcome to my world!"

Now, back to the end of the story...

Where have all the manners gone?

Manners. There I said it. Now I feel antiquated.  Am I alone in my perception decorum has taken a downward spin and there are definite signs if we don't right ourselves, all will be lost?  This week an item in our local paper caught my attention, Va. Student's Snow-Day Plea Triggers an Online Storm.  Seems that a high school student, unhappy that school wasn't cancelled, had chosen to phone Fairfax County Public School's chief operating officer.  While I have not heard the message the student left on the administrator's home phone, I imagine the thought behind the call was something like, "Dude, why'd we have to go today? Bro, do you not see we have 3 inches of snow on the ground? What's your major malfunction?"  (Admittedly the message may have been worded more formally as the student is a member of the school debate team).  The response from the administrator's home-front? His wife Candy, returned the student's call, leaving a voicemail message on his cell phone which, unlike her name, was not at all sweet nor sugary.

The student, having received an answer to his question, chose to share it with the world on YouTube and Facebook.  That is when the shitstorm hit.

The great debate which then ensued begged answers to a couple of questions: