It's the same sad story.
You're young and energetic and kid-free and you have sex--lots and lots of sex.
Then one day you get this hair-brained idea that you should actually put this sex to good use--you know other than burning calories and blissing out--and you decide to make a baby. Whether you're successful on the first try--yeah my husband can't sneeze in my direction--or it takes so many "tries" that you can't stand the sight of your mate naked, sex never seems to be the same again.
I don't want to scare the child-free, but there is a tremendous amount of fine print on the Welcome to Parenthood sign. Scientists aren't sure whether the type is too small for the naked eye or if the word Parenthood is just so large that it blots everything else out. Either way, conventional wisdom suggests that the fine print does include a warning that sex will never be the same.
To that I say, "BOO!"
Continue reading "Mad, Passionate, Wild Sex--Oh, the Memories..." »
My Sweet Boy,
I am sorry. Today I could have been a much better mother to you, but it's 11:00 p.m. and you're in bed--hopefully asleep--and I'm just figuring this out now. I know I might act like I know what I'm doing and my voice may sound like that of an authority, but I have to admit there a lot of times where I'm pretty much winging it with this parenting thing.
It's not that I don't take the job seriously, but I've always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl and, well, that seemed to work when you were younger--it still does with your little brothers. Now though, you're getting older and taller and smarter and hormones are starting to course through your veins and honestly everything is much more complicated because despite all of this you're still a kid who needs his parents.
I feel like a new parent all over again.
Continue reading "An Apology to My Pre-Teen Son " »
So on Friday night a bunch of the DC Metro Moms got together at Sarah's for a wine tasting (or beer drinking if you're me--thanks for the Stella Nancy).
I'd love to tell you how refined we all were--how we just sipped wine, looked fabulous and compared designer handbags. But if that had been the case, you definitely wouldn't have been at a DC Metro Moms party and you definitely wouldn't have had as much fun as we did. Of course, everyone there WAS fabulous--I'm especially talking to you girl--except me of course who opted for a nap and a ponytail instead of a "do" but that's what's so terrific about this group of women, I knew they'd show me some love just the same.
For those of you who weren't there, fear not. Just drink a lot of wine, go try to sneak up to your old boyfriend's house in a minivan filled with crazy moms and then scarf down some crack dip (recipe below).
It will be just like you were there.
Well, except for the fact that you didn't get to experience these shoes in real life. (And, um, Mr. Vibram I'd love a pair to try in size 9 1/2 please--especially after this broken ankle)
Continue reading "Mamma's Dip Recipe--Oh Yeah, There Was a Party " »

I've loved watching you take down the bad guys. I loved that you weren't afraid to go after anyone. I had high hopes for you.
And now?
I feel like a disappointed parent. (Wait! I am a parent and I am disappointed.)
I mean really! Didn't you think you'd get caught? Didn't you realize
those you've left in your wake would want to nail something on you?
Continue reading "Why Eliot? Why? " »
Do you see this bed? This lovely king-sized bed? Oh yeah. I have it all. to. myself.
Don't hate me too much.
I am travelling for business right now, and as much as I miss my three crazy boys and their saint of a father, I LOVE having a room to myself for a few days.
Continue reading "Traveling Without Kids " »
I need at least twelve more hours in every day.
I'm guessing if you're a parent reading this you feel the same.
There's so much to do. There's so much I want to do. There's so much I need to do. And sometimes, it's hard to know the difference between the two.
I know a woman lamenting the pressures of modern day motherhood is
nothing new, but sometimes we just need to vent. For a moment,
consider just a few of the conversations I have with myself as I head
out to the office each weekday morning.
The house: Ugh it's a mess. I really need to hire someone to come in and clean every two weeks. Does it
Continue reading "It's Going to be a Mom Who Masters the Time/Space Continuum" »
Okay! So when did Halloween become an excuse for perfectly sane women to go out in public wearing outfits once reserved for bedroom fantasies?!
Now don't get me wrong. I'm no prude.
I'll admit to owning a sex toy or two and even to holding up the entire security line at O'Hare to have my newly received, medical-grade silicone friend carefully examined by TSA (thanks again AAG), but I HAVE to take issue with these costume choices.
Continue reading "Happy Halloween! Thanks for the Show" »
Raising money to support our children's education has become a standard whether the kiddos are attending public or private school. We're lucky to live in Fairfax County which boasts one of the top-rated public school systems in the nation, and yet the schools still can't afford to provide crayons or scissors for our Kindergartener's or pens and paper for our sixth graders. Therefore, we on the PTA are constantly trying to find new and creative ways to bring in the bucks support our incredible teachers.
This is where you come in. We need new fundraising ideas. I'll share what we're doing here, please leave a comment letting us know what great ideas you're using at your children's school(s).
Continue reading "Money, Money, Money, Money...Money " »
This Dad post is brought to us via Amie's husband, Greg. If Amie wants to see Greg, the first place she checks is the little league field. Greg is currently coaching two of their three sons and managing the maintenance of all of the fields for the very same little league he grew up playing in. And that's not his day job. She's pretty sure his dreams involve groomers and dirt and his nightmares bad calls.
We all want the best for our children, but why do we obsess over how our sons and daughters perform in sports at the ages of 9, 10, 11, and 12 ? Sometimes even younger.
My 9 year old can hit farther than your 10 year old. Why do you care? Will that help him become a successful lawyer?
My 11 year old throws 60 mph. Why do you care? That's not going to be on his resume when he runs for President.
My 12 year old batted .450 this season. Why do you care? Will that get him an A in college biology?
Continue reading "Youth Sports: An Un-healthy Obsession? " »
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