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April 23, 2009

When Is Parental Participation Too Much

Images-3 It's not enough that I am a "soccer dad", I'm a soccer dad that coaches his daughter's team.

Many of you already know this.you probably also know that I struggle with "balance" issues.  Of course, I'm not talking about being able to stand on one foot... I'm talking about the balance of being involved in your child's life, and being an ever-present pain-in-the-ass parent.

I teach elementary Sunday School at our church.  I participate as an assisting minister every third or fourth Sunday... and my daughter is usually serving as acolyte when I do this (ifyou don't habla The Lutheran, an acolyte is responsible for lighting and putting out candles during the service, and assisting with Holy communion).  It's me who takes her to ice skating, girl scouts, two soccer practices and then coaching the games on Saturdays.  All of this brings me to my dilemma:  When do I cross the line between full-spectrum fathering to being a pest?

I know that my daughter is glad for my participation, but I don't want to stifle her in any way by forcing her to be the kid who always has to be "on" because her dad is there.  I know that years from now she will probably be very happy about the fact that her dad was always present for things... but knowing that intellectually doesn't really change the fact that I am concerned that I will drive her into the world of secrecy, just so she can have some time or place that are hers alone.

This problem may not sound like much of a problem... and I am aware that on the problem scale, it adds up to a "not so much", but you know me... I think about things.  Sometimes too much.


This is an original post to DC Metro Moms Blog. When he isn't worrying about small things, or teaching feds how to fight with an array of firearms, Gunfighter can be found spouting nonsense at his personal blog, or at the Dad-Blogs


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